Tue 6 Jan 2009
Am I too vain?
Category: Deer Doe
[23] Comments

I am a 22 year old girl who is passionate about makeup. It makes me happy, allows me to be creative, fun, and be myself. Unlike other women, who find the daily routine of putting on makeup in the morning a pain, I look forward to it.
Recently I found a poll online asking about how long women spend in the morning to put on makeup, and about 95% of them said 5-10 minutes max. I felt SO bad! I spend about 1 hour in the morning in front of my vanity table; I need at least 5 minutes to just think about what eyeshadows I am going to wear! Even though I don’t need makeup and I can totally go out of the house without it, I CHOOSE to use it because I enjoy it. Yet, to the larger public, I am probably considered to have a low self-esteem or emotional problems or some other ridiculous things.
So my question is: am I spending too much time on makeup? Am I too vain?
Kitty

Photo: Ecky Ducky
Dear Kitty,
The subject of vanity is something I’ve been pondering myself lately. Like you, I enjoy beautifying myself, examining my face in the mirror and contemplating what I can do to improve my look. ;) And just like you, I sometimes can’t help but feel a little guilty being so… vain.
I think the problem lies in our society placing too much value in humility, and demonizing vanity. We are expected to be humble and downplay our achievements. Vanity becomes especially a dirty word when it comes to physical appearance - women guard the fact that they cover up under-eye circles, glue in hair extensions and get Botox injections like their biggest secret! Celebrities like Ashlee Simpson and Kelly Osbourne deny having had rhinoplasty and gastric bi-pass done. (By the way, I don’t judge them. I believe that if something about your face, your body, or your life is making you miserable, you should do something about it!). For the fear of coming off conceited, we are afraid to show that we care what people think.
The whole process is pretty pointless. Of course we care what others think! Why else would we wear deodorant, bleach our teeth & shave our legs? The first step to stop feeling guilty is realizing that vanity is not a bad thing. Finding yourself attractive and wanting to be perceived as such is a healthy desire. Why wouldn’t you want to present yourself from a position of confidence, go about the world looking and feeling great, making a positive impact?

I think it’s important to recognize the difference between taking what others think into account and obsessing over it. In your case, you simply enjoy cosmetics and don’t have a problem leaving the house without the ‘warpaint’. It’s a vehicle for your self-expression and does not stem from low self-esteem. I require at least 2.5 hours to get ready. No kidding! Out of these 2.5 hours, my makeup takes about an hour, and the rest? I like to put on good music, dance around the house in my underoos, try on different outfits and shoes… It’s my me time, and I don’t let anybody cheat me out of it!
I believe that the biggest service we can do to the world is to be happy. If it means looking in the mirror one too many times, so be it! I leave you with a picture of Dita von Teese, who brilliantly illustrates how one can be perfectly content being vain.

Deerlings: do you consider yourself vain?

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