I am a 22 year old girl who is passionate about makeup. It makes me happy, allows me to be creative, fun, and be myself. Unlike other women, who find the daily routine of putting on makeup in the morning a pain, I look forward to it.
Recently I found a poll online asking about how long women spend in the morning to put on makeup, and about 95% of them said 5-10 minutes max. I felt SO bad! I spend about 1 hour in the morning in front of my vanity table; I need at least 5 minutes to just think about what eyeshadows I am going to wear! Even though I don’t need makeup and I can totally go out of the house without it, I CHOOSE to use it because I enjoy it. Yet, to the larger public, I am probably considered to have a low self-esteem or emotional problems or some other ridiculous things.
So my question is: am I spending too much time on makeup? Am I too vain?
Kitty
Photo: Ecky Ducky
Dear Kitty,
The subject of vanity is something I’ve been pondering myself lately. Like you, I enjoy beautifying myself, examining my face in the mirror and contemplating what I can do to improve my look. ;) And just like you, I sometimes can’t help but feel a little guilty being so… vain.
I think the problem lies in our society placing too much value in humility, and demonizing vanity. We are expected to be humble and downplay our achievements. Vanity becomes especially a dirty word when it comes to physical appearance – women guard the fact that they cover up under-eye circles, glue in hair extensions and get Botox injections like their biggest secret! Celebrities like Ashlee Simpson and Kelly Osbourne deny having had rhinoplasty and gastric bi-pass done. (By the way, I don’t judge them. I believe that if something about your face, your body, or your life is making you miserable, you should do something about it!). For the fear of coming off conceited, we are afraid to show that we care what people think.
The whole process is pretty pointless. Of course we care what others think! Why else would we wear deodorant, bleach our teeth & shave our legs? The first step to stop feeling guilty is realizing that vanity is not a bad thing. Finding yourself attractive and wanting to be perceived as such is a healthy desire. Why wouldn’t you want to present yourself from a position of confidence, go about the world looking and feeling great, making a positive impact?
I think it’s important to recognize the difference between taking what others think into account and obsessing over it. In your case, you simply enjoy cosmetics and don’t have a problem leaving the house without the ‘warpaint’. It’s a vehicle for your self-expression and does not stem from low self-esteem. I require at least 2.5 hours to get ready. No kidding! Out of these 2.5 hours, my makeup takes about an hour, and the rest? I like to put on good music, dance around the house in my underoos, try on different outfits and shoes… It’s my me time, and I don’t let anybody cheat me out of it!
I believe that the greatest service we can do to the world is to be happy. If it means looking in the mirror one too many times, so be it! I leave you with a picture of Dita von Teese, who brilliantly illustrates how one can be perfectly content being vain.
Deerlings: do you consider yourself vain?
I guess I’m vain. I am in University, and I will wear makeup when everyone else isnt just because its fun. people ask me how I have time as a student, and time is all what you make it. I choose to get up a little early and spend a little more time on my appearance. If that makes me vain, then I am glad. I know I am a good person, and this is my not so guilty pleasure.
I think if you present your outer beauty as a relfection of your inner beauty, then you can show the world how beautiful you are inside and out
Wow, that picture of Dita Von Teese is delicious!
I have found that I have gotten less vain as I get older. I used to spend hours getting ready in the morning and I still do if I am going out somewhere special or to a club but for work I have my routine down to an hour total. That includes showering, drying hair, styling hair and putting on minimal make up (usually just light foundation to even skin, concealer, mascara, lip gloss). I’d much rather sleep then spend time getting ready at 7-8am in the morning.
But there was a time I would never leave my house without full make up perfectly styled hair but that was mainly due to low self esteem. Now I go out without make up and even with messy hair (this is when funky haits come in handy) if I have to run to the store in the am on the weekend etc…
Vanneni Reply:
November 14, 2010 at 4:54 am
I love your life style. It’s actually the best way.Caring too much does no good. Being free anytime is the best way to live,but I know it’s not easy for many to.Practice will make it a habit with time.
I don’t feel that I am vain. I like to look good, I like to feel good, and if make up or an outfit helps me in that… well then thats a good thing!
I like the process of getting ready, seeing the transformation, and yes, spending me time listening to music and dancing.
Just remember the difference between vanity and self hate/obsession. We can dislike things about ourselves, but when does makeup stop being ‘fun’ and start being something we’re scared to be seen without?
For me, that’s crossing the line. I wouldn’t want to feel like I have to wear makeup everyday for ‘fear’ of people seeing me in my natural skin. In fact, I only wear makeup for band shows or if I’m going out, not to work (I work in a brewery), so when I _do_ wear makeup, it’s that much more of an impact, more like ‘look at what I can do’ as opposed to ‘the girl who wears tons of makeup everyday’ and I do work with a few of those.
So my only point is this. Makeup is awesome and fun. Wanting to be/look your best is a good way to live, but when it crosses the line into the point you’d be mortified without it, that says a lot about the level of vanity you may or may not have. Just wanting to look good isn’t really vanity. Assuming you do and that everyone should think so, that’s another thing entirely.
I do consider myself vain, actually. I’ve been doing some alternative style modeling for a few years, I spend a lot of time every day getting ready in front of a mirror (or multiple mirrors, even!) and re-changing clothes, digging out different shoes, etc. etc. If I don’t feel beautiful in what I’m wearing, or I feel like I’m not looking my best, or particularly special, then it effects my mood, and I just don’t have as good of a time doing anything as I feel I should.
I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have great self-esteem; I’ve struggled for a lot of years with depression and feelings of general self-loathing. But if all of that can be solved with a couple of extra hours devoted to myself — well then what’s so bad about a little vanity? Besides, if I don’t devote that time to myself, I really doubt anyone else will.
Dita also happens to be a personal inspiration of mine. I hold looking good, looking put-together, and finding your own ‘look’ and style as a very important thing in life, and she has always done that in a way which looks completely effortless. I aspire to be able to pull off something similar, someday.
A tomboy friend just laughs and shrugs when I talk about shoes or clothes, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong in caring about how I look and dress. Even though she thinks it’s cooler to act like “one of the boys” I know she spends just as much time in front of the mirror as I do! <3
I think I’m at a weird stage in my life. for so long, all throughout high school, I never wore makeup and barely thought about my clothes. I just kind of…was there. Then again, I was diagnosed with depression at 14 (even though a lot of people are, this is a genuine case. anyone who wants it can HAVE IT!!) and I think that dealing with it has contributed a lot to how I deal with my looks.
Guilt over nothing was always a common feeling with me, so I think I didn’t make myself look attractive to avoid feeling guilty. I have no idea, lol.
since I moved to Chicago and cut 15 inches of hair off in June of 08, I’ve been slowly changing. and then in the beginning of January it was like, a different mindset all of a sudden. and I have the compulsion to change my hair again. which is a very new experience for me. lol!
I believe it’s partially thanks to you that my mindset is changing, and partially due to a conscious effort on my part to beat the depression once and for all. (as much as I’d like to think that, I know it’ll rear it’s ugly head again eventually. oh well!)
I’m even starting to date, which is oh-holy-shit nerve racking. :D
anyway, to my point: vanity is not a bad thing. for too long I’ve been too humble and it’s done nothing but hurt me and make others think I’m thoroughly angelic. Now that I’m more interested in taking care of my looks I find myself to be happier.
Granted, there is TOO vain, but you and Kitty don’t seem to be up there. :)
jesus christ. maybe I should start my own blog. sorry!
I am vain. No skirting around it, not coloring words. I am vain. Though I wasn’t for a long time. Until my first year of college I didn’t think that I was pretty or that anyone noticed me. Now I take pride in the way that I look and enjoy playing with make-up (Though I hardly have time to do so). It’s fun and I love feeling good. I hate that in today’s society we are encouraged to think that we must rely on others praise to feel good and if we have confidence in our body and looks then we are vain and ego-centric. It seems that there is no happy balance. Either you have low-self esteem and you have to look to other people for your confidence. Or you are self-centered. Well I say that we should take pride in who we are! Its okay to enjoy praise from others but it should also be okay to feel good about yourself. Enjoy who you are and don’t feel bad for looking awesome!
I really, really enjoyed this article. I think it’s an extremely interesting probleme… vanity isn’t good or bad as a concept, it’s what you do with it… and I don’t think making yourself as beautiful as you can be is vanity… it’s just being happy with yourself and play the game…
So maybe we shouldn’t care so much, you’re right…
I agree with everything Belinda said. There is a point where where vanity can cross into an obsession. I know since I was one of those girls when I was younger that wouldn’t go anywhere without make up. I’ve never has issues with acne so it wasn’t me trying to cover something up. I just didn’t like the way I looked without make up. The few things I think changed my view is gaining more self esteem and confidence as I got older and once I spent a few years working a 9-5 type of job after college. I pretty much forced myself to shorten my getting ready routine because who wants to spend 2-3 hours getting ready in the morning when you have to be at work for 8-9am. Not me. I’d rather spend the extra time alseep or doing yoga before work.
Haha, I actually the opposite of being vain! If I’m not going to work, out to dinner, or to a party with friends, I’m probably not even out of my pajamas! When I was in school, I went to class in pajamas 85% of the time. I don’t enjoy doing my hair, putting on makeup, picking out an outfit, etc. So I just spend my time doing other things.
I do, however, enjoy looking at people who do spend time beautifying themselves :)
I definitely am vain. In a past life I was totally some kind of showy bird. I am a secret tranny!
But I only get ready sometimes…if I’m working from home all day and have to run out and do a few errands I don’t stress if I’m just wearing a simple outfit, no makeup, and dirty hair. If I’ve been up late working on an essay and don’t have time to even shower for school that’s okay. But when I want to look good I take daaaaaayyyyyyyssssssssssssssssssss. It’s an all-day event. I plan my outfit, take a slow bath, read in the bath, listen to music as I obsess over my eyebrows and brush my teeth and curl my hair and get my cat’s eye perfect. It’s fun!
I have a little over 1 hour to get ready in the morning, I’m amazed I can fit my makeup routine into that amount of time to be honest!
I’m vain but not in a self-obsessed way. I like to wear makeup but I don’t have to. I can very easily go out shopping bare faced and not feel like I’m sucking the beauty out of the world.
The thing is, I like to be comfortable. I don’t dress very girly but I do enjoy painting my face as a mode of self-expression. Makeup makes me comfortable. However, I do think it’s abit alarming that people spend so much time, energy and money obsessing about something that is in no way going to last. We all age at some point. So I think that we should also spend time, money and energy of beautifying our inner self.
I’m not sure if I’m vain or just preoccupied with how I look. I don’t spend a lot of time putting on make up or styling my hair, or even choosing outfits, but I’m always very conscious of how I look. Body wise and face wise. It’s very, very hard for me to accept that other people find me attractive. Which is kind of ridiculous because I’ve been told by men and women alike that I am good-looking. I don’t know, I guess I’m just hyper-critical of myself.
I do like wearing make up, but usually find it too bothersome to do everyday. Sleep and practicing music take priority for me. ;-)
well said hon,well said!
I dont think that just because you like makeup and enjoy putting it on that you should be considered vain. I think society is too preoccupied with type-casting that everyone, no matter what it is that they like, is considered to have a flaw. Is a person that enjoys their evening glass of wine an alcoholic? Or someone who loves their job a workaholic?
All in all, I do not coonsider myself to be vain even tho at times it takes me an hour or more to apply my makeup. Its somthing I enjoy and its my “me” time for the day.
Interesting. I don’t know, I think I can be more vain at certain times than others. I mean I will leave the house with no make up to go up the road, but I won’t go out to college or work or town without it, I’m so pale is I have no make up I just look ill, I don’t like looking ill when I am ill, let alone when I’m not. If I’m going out for the day, trip to London or going out for the evening I’ll take my time to look nice, spend a long time on my make up and just prance about. I wish I had good time management to spend 2 hours or so getting ready, I just can’t seem to plan my hours well enough. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being vain, I have a problem when it’s to the point that people are so vain it that they think they are better than others. It’s a long standing joke that my best friend can’t pass a mirror without checking it and my goddaughter is following her Mum in that trend.
Well said! I agree – everyone is vain to some extent. I think even people who might not put as much time into their look are perhaps trying to show just that. That they aren’t into makeup and clothes. And that’s fine, I’m not making a judgment on them. I just mean that whether you spend 5 minutes or 2 hours getting ready, it’s still something you want to convey to the world. And that isn’t a bad thing. It’s called self expression.
No one looks down on artists for expressing themselves. Perhaps a pompous artist may be seen as vain, but if say, an author, simply wants to convey a message and loves to write, no one criticizes them for spending years on their novel. In fact, it’s admired! For me, dressing myself and figuring out what type of look i want to show the world is a hobby of self expression, just like writing or painting is for me too.
It becomes vanity when if no one praised you or noticed you, you’d just stop doing it. And this goes for anything – if I never have a book published I’ll keep writing, though I’d be thrilled if I ever were published, and more so if people liked it. No one really notices how I look (at least I don’t get praise from random strangers that often) but that’s not who I do it for. My parents often hate my makeup (though I know they love me and think I’m pretty anyway lol), and my boyfriend even has a different sense of style than me, so even if he thinks I look nice, he thinks some of the things I wear are weird (including heels!). But it’s still fun for me, so I’ll still do it. And hey, if I get compliments in the process, I sure won’t complain!
I suppose it was a little vain of me to write this long comment about my own vanity! lol
For my part, every morning, i take about 10 minutes for make-up ( i only makeup my eyes, cause this is my fav :) and i don’t like lipstick and fundation cream that much )
I would like to take more time to makeup but i don’t really have time! i just looked at my makeup collection and say ” Oh pity!! :/, but when i can take MY time it’s soooo great! :)
Just think what colours i would like to use is already a pleasure :)
And the Limecrime makeup is one of my fav makeup! this is probably the mark i apply with the best pleasure i can feel :)
What an absolutely interesting post! I love to spend time admiring myself in the mirror, I LOVE makeup-and I know I’m not the only one! I don’t consider myself vain, because for me the concept of vanity is one of the seven major “sins” and since I am not religious- and I mean no offense to those who are- I do not subscribe to this word as having any bearing on my personal experience of self love, which I think, is a benefit to all those who know me, and I encourage all my friends to love themselves and stop criticising every damn part of their face/body! Words carry much power, they are the mantras that we tell ourselves every day, the mantras, or affirmations you could call them, that the media pushes on us every day, such as “vanity”, “credit crunch”, etc… Why not look at oneself in the mirror and instead of thinking “I’m so vain”, think “I am luminous, radiant, sparkling, scintillating?” Perhaps, after all, when we look at ourselves in the mirror, it is our inner beauty that we are in search of?
i think the concept of being vain is pretty subjective. everyone has different ideas of who should do what!
one thing that seems to be most common is that we “should” look close to flawless, but look like we flew off the pillow that way.
to me that is BS and i do things to balance it out…
i choose to do my makeup in beautiful bright colors* pretty frequently bc it makes me feel like i can inject art into my daily life which i love… not to cover what my face really looks like…
but to balance i reject certain norms, such as damaging my hair by heat styling and shaving my armpits! haha
to each her own, right?
but i do believe that the things you choose to do to present yourself are an important&fun way to nonverbally express your personality.
* i love your colors soo much my bf got me 3 of them for christmas when he saw me on the website one day!
Look, there’s a difference between putting on make-up for an hour because you enjoy it, and almost hitting a small child with your parent’s van because you can’t stop looking at yourself in the rearview mirror (uhhh…not that I would know).
“Vanity” connotes an EXCESSIVE amount of pride in one’s appearance or accomplishments. This excessiveness exhibits itself not in the confines of your own home and your dressing habits, but when you’re out in public and you’re not paying attention to anyone or anything because you can’t stop looking at yourself or monopolizing conversation by talking about how badass you are. THAT is vanity.
I should be vainer than I am. I am too humble and not beacuse society likes that, but because I am. I won’t go out of home without making up my eyes, never, but just because I think i look better that way. But Im not vain. Sometimes I see some people who is so vain and have no real reason to be like that that I feel a bit stupid. It’s not that I have reasons to be and they haven’t, it’s that I think that I should be more vain, that isn’t something bad. But anyway. This article was so interesting!! Btw Im looking forward to your next outfit!
I don’t really wonder much if I’m vain – I don’t loathe myself, and I don’t think I’m the greatest thing in the world either, so I’m not too close to any extremes to make it unhealthy. I love make up, but for me, my face is my canvas that I paint on – I don’t put make up on simply to look good, but because I like to play with colours and shapes. And if I don’t feel like doing make up or dressing up, I just don’t. It’s as simple as that :) Oh, the only thing I feel a little guilty about is being a camera whore, but that’s mostly because I’m worrying that the shots might turn out bad – I enjoy standing behing the camera even more!
This is a very interesting subject because i’ve been in similar situations such as kitty except no one called me vain but they hint at it. quite frankly i didn’t pay those people any attention becuase 1 i do makeup for me for my expression and my happiness 2 i have the ability to help other people be happy with themselves through it. so to those people who think we are vain chances are the are the ones who haven’t discovered how fabulous they really are.
I believe that everyone is vain it is human nature. It does not matter if you spend 15 minutes to get ready in the morning or 3 hours, by spending any time to get ready even that limited 15 minutes just so PEOPLE would not think that you are the walking dead is vanity. I am not saying that I spend 15 minutes to get ready because on an average morning I take 2 hours just to get ready, but if I am going to a party or for a night out in clubs I can take up to 4 to 4 and a half hours. Do I take that long to get ready out of vanity no I just like it, and I do not even need it. Vanity is only how it is interpreted not, and not the amount of time it takes to get ready because in the end everyone wants to look good.
Deer Doe, that advice was spot-on, I couldn’t agree more.
I’m with Padmita here. I too use my face as a blank canvas with which to experiment with colour. It’s an expression thing, an artistic thing. I try to enhance the features of my face that I DO like, as opposed to hiding the features that I DON’T.
Kitty- Don’t feel bad about enjoying self expression! Maybe you should delve further into your passion for makeup and think about becoming a makeup artist? There is no better job than one you genuinely enjoy :)
I would agree that being happy and doing what makes us happy (so long as it harms none) is the most important thing any of us can do. Also, like so many others, I take great pleasure in putting on makeup and getting ready to go out- it’s fun and lets me express my creativity. However, I would say that it is important to cultivate our minds more than our bodies, because they continue to grow and stay young if we wish, while our bodies will eventually deteriorate no matter how much we try to prevent it (botox, exercise, lipo, etc). I don’t want to be one of those fifty year old women I see strutting around in halter tops and platform heels, because they look ridiculous and insecure and very vain. Having fun with appearances is one thing, but I feel that once it becomes too ingrained in who we are, it will be that much harder to let go of our youth and beauty as we age- and we all age. I can imagine it being very difficult for a self-proclaimed vain person to look in the mirror and see themselves not looking as good as they did when they were seventeen, whereas someone who was not so vain would be focused on more substantive things.
I’m definitely a 5-10 minute girl in the morning haha.
But, I think i would spend more time on my make up if A) my office was more interacting with others. I spend most of my day in a cubicle with little or no interaction with others and B) If I wasn’t such a procrastinator in the morning and lover of my beauty sleep =) I’ve got to be to work at 7:00 AM, so I relish sleeping in until 6:00 AM and then hurrying to get dressed/ready for work.
I used to pride myself on being able to be showered, dressed and out the door in 10 minutes, but then I started to realize I was able to accomplish this because I LOOKED LIKE CRAP. I’d even avoid mirrors all day! My 2008 resolution was to be more glamorous, and I’m continuing that this year. I can still be ready to go in under an hour, but at least now I put some effort into my look and spend most of my time perfecting my make-up. It makes me happy to do it, and it’s a self esteem booster through-out the day to look in a mirror and think “Aww! I’m pretty!!” instead of “Ugg, I look like a hobo.”
I’ve never considered myself vain, despite what I take in from other people. They say things about how I take so long getting ready in the morning(I make sure to be up at 6 am, when I only have work at 9:00), how I spend all my money and time on makeup.. but it doesn’t matter what they think, because I’m not doing it all for them. I do it for me, simply. I often even have to remind my boyfriend that that’s why I do it, but when I look pretty, I feel pretty, and that’s what’s important in life. Feeling the best you can. And if that means I have to spend an hour+ working on it, so be it! :) My happiness is worth it! :)
This reminds me a lot of some of the girls I go to school with. They wear makeup, but to an extreme. They cake on coverup to hide their blemishes which just makes them worse, and on top of that they tan until they’re so dark they look a different race. It kind of worries me though, because I’m afraid they’re going to get skin cancer from all their tanning. For me, I stick with my pale skin. I’d prefer to be pale and beautiful than take the chance of getting skin cancer. When it comes to my facial makeup I like to just put on a but of concealer to even out my skin tone because my cheeks/chin/nose tend to get really red for no reason which makes me look really embarrassed when I’m not. Other than that, if I feel I have enough time I do full eye makeup, but skip it on days when I’m too tired to take the time to put it on. I really don’t see it as a chore, but as fun, kind of like an art project. I like playing with colors and making myself look really cute. No harm in that!
The concept of vanity is completely subjective… In order for you to decide if you are too vain, you would have to allow yourself to be judged against other people, BY other people…
Therefore, the question really becomes…
“Do I REALLY care what other people think?”
If the answer to THAT question is yes, then you can review all of the comments here to formulate an answer to your VANITY question…
If the answer to the “DO I CARE…” question is NO, then the answer to the VANITY question is ALSO NO…
Frankly, I vote for NO.
~N~
I get accused of being vain or “high maintenance.” Neither of which are really true. I take 20-25 minutes to do my makeup in the morning (and I usually do very bright elaborate eye makeup), but I don’t do it because I’m freaked out about my looks I do it because it makes me happy and its another of my many creative expressions, I can and sometimes do choose to do without and it doesnt kill me. I’ve done it so long I’m fast from practice (slow to most but fast relativly to other makeup junkies). I know that may be a bit more than “average” but I find it a pleasurable time. I enjoy doing my makeup, I look forward to it ever morning more than my coffee even. When I tell people it takes me 2 and half hours to get ready in the morning they freak like I spend the whole 2 and half hours staring at myself in front of the mirrow. 1st of all if I did, its not like its their time or business and 2nd. The vast majority of my morning is Eating a cooked breakfast (another leasure I insist on I hate pop-tarts and cereal), showering (I relax and enjoy in hot water too), dressing (usually average speed), and checking my email and other online daily internet haunts (I kill more time screwing around on the internet than anywhere else in my morning routine). I suppose I could chip a half hour or 45 minutes off my morning routine, but I wont. I like relaxing in the shower, I like a home cooked breakfast and a relaxing cup of coffee, I like being creative with my eye makeup and taking pictures of what I’ve done (I keep a photo jounral) and relaxing in front of my computer a while. In this maddening fast pace ADD society nobody ever slows down and enjoys the simple pleasures of life, but if not then what’s so worth living for? I hate being rushed and I like enjoying ALL of my activites and if it costs me a little time – well then to me thats time well spent!
I agree with Kitty. Makeup and clothes can be your outlet for creativity! Most people think that other people who spend 15 minutes in the morning to get ready don’t care what they look like, those who spend 2 hours or more are thought to be vain. But in reality some people just don’t need 1 hour or more to get ready for the day and some just can’t get ready in 15 minutes, mostly because of makeup, clothes, hair, etc. For me I take an hour or so because I dawdle. :) And I screw around on my computer all the time like pinkladyj does. xDD And I like to pick out my clothes. Vanity may be an obsession for other people, but for some they don’t even know what the word means. If I had makeup I would be up early putting it on too but I don’t. And I think it’s unfair to assume that people who take their time in the morning/night to clean up or put on their makeup are vain. Most aren’t and they won’t DIE if hey miss one day of makeup or styling their hair, you know why? Because they do it for themselves and not other people that’s what separates people who use makeup or grooming as a creative outlet and people who really are vain and dress and do things to themselves for other people. You see a girl walking down the street wearing the latest fashion. What do you think? She’s probably only wearing it because it’s the “thing”. But she might actually be wearing that type of clothing because she thinks it’s cute, or she thinks it’s comfortable. When my friends saw me in skinny jeans they were shocked. (We are mostly flare and bootcut girls.) They cried out. “OMGGG!!!!!” in public. But the reason I was wearing them was because they were in fact bright neon orange! (Fun fact: I’m wearing them now. :) I thought my friends knew me and they did not. I wore those jeans because they were colorful, not because it was a popular cut among today’s teenage girls and fashionistas.
Oh and sorry for the double post but some people confuse taking care of yourself with vanity. I exercise regularly but it’s not because I want to be thin. It’s far from that! I hope to GAIN weight! (in the form of muscle that is. :) and because i have to bulk up for drumline. >.< those drums are HEAVY!!!
washing my face with a cleanser is normal because having a clean face is important! (even if it takes 20 minutes to apply and put on. xD)
Oh, Doe, I’m so glad you posted this!
I think “vanity” as we’re speaking of it is a matter that varies from woman to woman. Some women are perfectly confident in a pair of jeans and a ponytail, letting their bare skin shine–and other women are miserable under pounds of makeup, trying to look like someone they’re not.
I personally spent much of my life not giving a hoot about what I looked like, wearing baggy jeans and unflattering clothes, overweight, hating myself, and deeply unhappy. Eventually I found love and confidence, and as I did, not only did I lose something like thirty pounds but I discovered the pure joy–glee? ;)–of looking and feeling beautiful! Now I shoe shop like a fiend, and could spend hours getting ready, trying on outfit after outfit and picking the perfect accessories.
But what really matters, I think, is that confidence comes first. I’m equally content and proud of my looks (and my WHOLE self!) in comfy clothes and no makeup.
Incidentally, though, one thing I can’t live without: dangly earrings!! I’ll throw them on with anything. They instantly glam up even the most casual look. My favorites? Big dreamcatchers. :)
I think “creative” people spend more time getting ready. I use to sit at work and think about this, as this one girl would always wear black pants with a variety of different color button up tops everyday, same black blazer too. She tossed her hair up on top of her head all of the time too. Every single day. She was predictable and so far from being creative that I can’t imagine it taking her longer than 10 mins getting ready. I on the other hand spend weeks going through my closet, trying on shoes and jackets, jeans and slacks, dresses and such for an event that is coming up weeks away. Maybe I just own too much stuff or maybe I just have fun with with all the fashions pieces. I once knew of this other girl that would always buy the entire outfit on a dummy in the window, she didn’t know how to mix and match. Just saying, I don’t think plain jane has any issues beating the clock. :)
For me, I think wanting to make yourself beautiful is a true sign of confidence and a healthy attitude.
I’ve noticed that more often than not, people who like themselves want to make themselves pretty, and truly enjoy doing so. It’s like this: if you like a particular painting, you’ll want to hang it up, show it off and give it all the recognition it deserves.
And by traditional standards, I do consider myself as “vain”. I think I’m pretty. I want to show others this pure awesomeness too. What’s wrong with that?
I probably do sometimes. Why not? A friend of mine like to remind me “dear you´re so intelligent to behave like that…” I disagree. Let´s see: Yes. I´m intelligent… + vain too. I´m a woman and that´s the way I want to be. For sure!
kss from Spain
;-)
I don’t think spending an hour to put on make-up is vain , i mean those girls probably lied so that they won’t “seem” vain, LOL! I don’t wear make-up, i just wear glitter, but i notice getting older i want to
wear make-up now, plus i could never find cool bright eye shadows until now, thanks to our dear Doedeere, and so happy i got my limecrime in the mail YAYYYYYYY!!! so yes i will be vain and wear some and look HAWT and freak everyone else, LOLOL!!!!! but good advice you gaved her! oxoxox hugs.
I totally agree Doe! Great article!
Using your face as a canvas for self expression is a great thing. It’s fun and that’s the main thing!
I am vain… but hey, I’d rather be vain than slobby. =)
Abso-friggin-lutely. I especially agree with the assertion that the greatest service we can do for the world is to learn to make ourselves happy. Looking good and feeling good are undeniably linked, and EVERYONE is more capable of contributing to society when he/she is confident and happy. And if that means an hour at the mirror, go to!
I usually take 20-30 minutes getting ready in the morning, but if I have time I’ll take an hour. I used to spend more time, but with two little kids it is hard to get to work on time if I do more than throw on some eye makeup. I’m lucky that I have good skin, though, so I really don’t need to do to much. I’m pretty pale though, so I need COLOR. :)
I have been thinking about whether I am vain lately, too, since I want to do a self portrait challenge to myself this year. Part of it is just having control over the subject and creativity, but I think people will believe me narcissistic by doing it. Maybe I am a bit. I just know that the ones I took of myself last weekend made me feel better and happy that I CAN look nice when I take the time. That’s not such a bad thing, is it?
In post #25, Red defines vanity very well. Simply put, the word “vain” has negative connotations, and not just in religious terms. What I think Kitty, Xenia, and most replies are referring to is a healthy dose of pride in your appearance and accomplishments; that is not vanity! Vain people are full of themselves.
In terms of appearance, vanity has nothing to do with how much time it takes you to get ready or how much makeup you wear; it is only “visible” through interactions with others. So we really can’t judge whether someone like Dita Von Teese is vain, unless we know her personally.
What I do like about Dita is that she obviously spends a lot of time on her looks, and has no pretense about it. Nowadays, the word “effortless” is thrown about so much as a compliment, that we’ve forgotten making an effort can be just as beautiful as looking effortless.
on that topic any image of dita is pretty much a ’nuff said! id bet she’s vain but as long as you’re comfortable who cares! if you’re a good person who is kind to others, if you love makeup for the theatrics not bc you hate your own face =/ theres nothing wrong w selfimprovement or adornment.
then again i’ve worn lashes in the pool. =)
great topic!
I don’t normally consider myself vain. But I suppose the definition is subjective. I’m very confidant and not embarrassed easily. I’m not afraid to leave the house looking and even smelling like garbage. But there are certain places I feel i need to be presentable or want to dress up for because it’s fun. I have standards for how i look when i go to school (when i was in school) or acting class. At parties or when seeing friends i haven’t seen in a while i go all out! I obsess over every detail aiming for perfection.
As far as life in general I’m obsessed with looks. I don’t think I’m shallow. There can be a real art to it that I’m fascinated with! I also have future career presure causing me to obsess over my looks. I’m going to be an actress one day and I plan on being a beautiful one. Why shouldn’t i? And of course getting into the business requires attractiveness in most cases, if you plan to be successful. Not that I plan to look like some clone of a celebrity that wouldn’t do me much good at all. I also want to be a stage-make up artist in the near future so I’m always giving imaginary make-overs in my head to everyone i see on T.V. or in the real world. I obsess over different kinds of features and how make-up accentuates or deflects from them.
I love hair, make-up, clothes, shoes ALL of it! I love being able to transform what i see in the mirror into something else. “vanity” is just as much of an art form as any of the many artistic mediums I’ve dabbled in during my lifetime.