Fri 12 Mar 2010
Enchanted Garden
Category: Unicorn Queen
I found this old picture and realized that’s exactly what my life looks like right now. It’s like walking through an enchanted garden – or a maze, if you will – twists and turns, lefts and rights, no way to predict what’s around the bend. But so long as I’m still journeying… My friend LaCarmina said, “In our line of work, you have to deal with an insane number of ups and downs, round and rounds… but it’s better (?) than mundane normalcy.” Well ain’t that the truth! And it’s not just the number of ups and downs, but the intensity of each swing.
Looking back just a year ago, things were so much simpler: if I failed, I failed on a minor scale; if I succeeded, I enjoyed a small victory. If this is is how ‘normal’ feels, I don’t miss it! I would rather live a life in the fast lane where the stakes are high. Going from a start-up nobody wanted to know to signing a deal with a 75-store chain in a year (don’t let anybody tell you you can’t do it!) turned my world upside down. But I don’t like to celebrate early. I am grateful for the opportunity but it is just that – an open door, and how I fare in the room remains to be seen. I haven’t proven myself yet.
I have high hopes for SpaceNK and will do everything in my power to make it a success. Funny, while I was busy fighting the fight, I didn’t notice that the mountain began to move. People seem no longer afraid of color - especially in eyeshadow. According to a New York Times article, colorful lids are everywhere – even brides are wearing lime green on their special day. Just a few years ago, this would be unthinkable; it’s amazing to see many companies – new and old – making brights. To me, this is the real victory.
In other news, Mark finally finished his economics degree and has been working by my side since January. Sometimes I can’t believe how quickly he picked it up – he is more knowledgeable about cosmetics than some women I know! Just the other day he was advising some ladies at Sephora who thought he worked there. :) The girls have been amazingly supportive as well; can you believe I’m meeting Anna for the first time in April??? Up until now it’s been all email and Twitter.
But nothing that looks easy really is. There’s been a good helping of unavoidable strife and anxiety. I don’t like to complain, but the past 6 months have been trying for me. Not the least of which was the fact that I now have people who strongly dislike me for who I am and look for ways to bring me down. When they first started popping up, it really bothered me. Why would somebody want to see me fail? For a while, I thought maybe it was my fault; I guess it’s like having an abusive parent who tells you you’re no good every day, you just want to be that perfect child so bad. So I tried to appear to be perfect, trying to please everyone. Everyone knows that doesn’t work. You can’t fix it if the problem is not you. What really helped was meeting other bloggers/artists – and what do you know? We are all going through the same thing! No matter who you are, how nice you are, or what you do, there will always be people who want to tear you down. It’s all a part of the game – the naysayers are a barrier, a test. The strong will grow a thicker skin and learn to go on. The weak will let it get to them and quit. I believe too much in what I do, I’m not quitting.
Oh, the garden. You’re so full of wonder and adventure. Sometimes you wear me out, sometimes you’re the very essence that keeps me going.
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