Recently I have decided I hate my face.

How odd, right? I really like my body, but I just can’t stand my face at the moment. I’m British, slightly pale-skinned, with nice blue eyes and mediocre brown hair. I get very tanned in the summer. My skin isn’t spotty, I just have the occasional one pop up, but I’m quite pock-marked from being a typical acne-prone teenager, particularly around my lower face, lips, and forehead. My lips have an uneven outline from all the break-outs there, the skin on my skin is quite pitted, and so on. I never used to worry about this, but since getting into fashion, photography and Facebook, it’s been a bit of a sore spot for me. I’ve found my skin is quite ‘hairy’, covered in fine white fluff, but also quite dry and flaky, so it doesn’t take well to the foundation I’ve used.

To make things worse, I have an otherwise invisible overbite, so my lower jaw is a little further back than it should be, which casts my lower face in shadows. I could draw attention from the lower half by drawing attention to my eyes, admittedly, but I dislike that bit too; my eyes are lovely but deep-set, making me look tired, and quite far apart. I also have a ‘roll’ of skin underneath them, which I also despise.

So, this was really quite a negative letter. But how can I make my face look better… and healthier?
Sarah

Dear Sarah,

What you are going through is normal. Most people are dissatisfied with the way they look. Want proof? Ask anyone if they like their nose. 99 percent people will say no – it’s too wide, too big, too skinny, or too long – even if their nose is as perfect as Angelina Jolie’s! We have so many plastic surgeries for this very reason.

It happens to all of us: some days, we wake up, look in the mirror and decide that our face is the ugliest thing, ever. Those puffy eyes. That big nose. Those thin lips. That weak chin. In fact, women tend to underestimate their looks by 20%. When we look in the mirror, we often ignore all the things that make us beautiful, and focus only on the things we dislike. And then there’s this other thing we do: compare ourselves to famous models, actresses and other ultra-attractive people. Since you mentioned getting into Facebook and fashion, I believe this is exactly what is happening here. Comparing ourselves to others makes us hyper-critical. Think about it like this: you don’t walk around comparing your brain to Socrates. Then why would you compare your face to Heidi Klum?

Whatever you think you’ve got darling, add 20% to it! :) In addition, remember that the things we dislike about ourselves are often the very reason others find us attractive. Ever heard of these ‘flawed’ beauties, whose whole look is hinged upon imperfections? Madonna (gap between front teeth), Kate Bosworth (odd-eyed), Agyness Deyn (boyish face & body), Sarah Jessica Parker (oh boy, where do I start). Even Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe were insecure about their looks! Studies show that ‘inner beauty’ really does shine through brighter than simple good looks; and confidence & charisma are heaps more alluring than perfect cheekbones or bee-stung lips!

When looking in the mirror every day, remind yourself that you are a beautiful, smart human being and deserve to be happy & successful. You are one of a kind and special. Surround yourself with beautiful things – flowers, things you like, people you find fascinating. Rre-create your own image as someone hip, irresistible, magnetic!

Having said this, if feelings of self-hatred persist, the underlying reason could be much deeper. Depression or Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome can undermine one’s self-esteem. I recommend seeing a specialist if you feel this is the case.

Now, to address your beauty concerns. It sounds to me like your skin could use some moisturizing. Don’t bother with the expensive stuff; most generic brands contain the same ingredients, sans the scent. Experiment and find one that works for you. Always moisturize your skin prior to applying foundation. If you have ‘peach fuzz’ on your face, use a foam sponge to apply foundation, and do so in a dabbing motion to avoid streaking. If your skin still doesn’t look good, Dermabrasion might be an option. It’s a chemical procedure which involves polishing off a thin layer of cells off your skin. It takes about 3 months to heal. Like most cosmetic surgical procedures, it can be expensive, but at the very least you will know what your options are.

Finding something you like about yourself and drawing attention to it is always an excellent idea. If you like your eyes, accentuate them with fun, colorful eyeliners and eyeshadow. Lighter colors will bring your eyes forward. Oh, and fake lashes look amazing on everyone! Good luck, sweetie.

Deerlings: let’s make this into something positive. Tell me what you LOVE about yourself!!!

Got a question for Doe Deere? Submit it to doedeere @ gmail. com.