Tue 8 Sep 2009
Believe it or not, this is where Kat & I spent most of our childhood summers – a little shack in a small Udmurt village called Gozhnya about 60 km from our hometown Izhevsk. The shack, once owned by our grandparents, has been abandoned for over a decade. No one volunteered to take care of the property.
Breaking in
The locals took everything – furniture, appliances, cookware, even the tiles off the furnace!!! This was all that’s left:
An old poster of Lenin which I don’t remember being there but it must have been…
And my favorite: Jesus & cigarettes.
The beekeeper’s house
It’s amazing how even the harshest reality is softened through a child’s eyes. I remember this place as a green paradise where I felt most safe, secure and loved even if I was sleeping in a bed that was too small for my feet and covered with a blanket with holes in it. Growing up, it never occurred to us that Gozhnya was the sticks; we took all the dirt and the poverty as something that’s just… there. Going back gave me a hell of a perspective: if this was the best our grandparents could give us, what a long way we have come!
33 Responses to “ Doe Deere breaks into abandoned shack ”
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September 8th, 2009 at 11:29 am
I still think it’s beautiful. I love the look of abandoned buildings.
When you’re a child you really don’t need much more than love.
I love your accent too.
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September 8th, 2009 at 11:35 am
There’s something both haunting and magical about abandoned buildings. I love sneaking in & imagining the lives that took place & memories made there.
This is a beautiful article. I’m glad your visit was so meaningful & helped you appreciate your life even more :)
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September 8th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Amazing post! I wish I wore a bikini next to that Russian “Porsche”! ;-)
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September 8th, 2009 at 11:57 am
I love those blogs about your Russian trip, they’re extremely interesting and inspiring.
It’s such a good thing that by reading your blogs, we don’t only get to know what you’re daily up to, but to actually learn something as well.
Love it !
xo Steam
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September 8th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Wow – I can imagine how surreal going back there must have been, seeing it both as it was and as it is now at the same time. It’s sad watching, like alzy says, beautiful and haunting, going back to the beginning after travelling so far, in so many different ways. You look almost shell-shocked in these videos too – I hope not all your holiday was as poignant, and you had fun discovering new parts of Russia, brand new memories to sit alongside memories of old.
On a totally shallow note though, I *LOVE* your jacket!
Miz xx
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September 8th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Sometimes we forget how little it takes to be happy…
The raspberries made me so nostalgic, we used to have looots of them in the vacation house of sorts where I spent most of my childhood and teenage life (well, weekends). I miss it :(
Also, your sunglasses amaze me every single time. So stylish!
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September 8th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Wow that must’ve been both nostalgic and quite the reality-shock for you. Thank you so much for sharing.
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September 8th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Thats so cool!! That you have a place to go see and remeber when you were a kid.
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September 8th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Doe, I adore your voice!! It’s so lovely. I’m jealous…maybe I should move to a foreign country for a few years and lose my flat California accent ;)
It’s so cool to go explore old abandoned buildings (actually one of my fav hobbies!) but it must be so much more interesting when it’s somewhere you once lived. And you know, if all you remember is growing up happy and having a lot of fun, not being poor, then your parents and grandparents did something right. Go them! (And you!)
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September 8th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
You seem to say that what your grand-parents could offer you was not enough, and that sounds very cruel to me. Don’t you think that they offered you the best they could? You speak about poverty and dirt, but I am sure that 10 years ago this place was in a far better condition!
I think you know that a russian village and New York could not, in the past and even now, have the same standard of living; but one should ask himself if the New York standard of living and wealth should be the universal standard, and if people who don’t have it should feel ashamed because of that.
You seem to despise your own memories and your happiness there. I don’t know what relation you had with your grand parents, but if I was you and walked in the abandoned house of my grand parents, I would have cried. But you don’t seem moved at all, and what seems to matter the most for you is your hair… Sorry for saying that… Maybe the fact is that you have this positive energy that makes you always go forward and never be sad about the past.
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September 8th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Sylvie –
I think you misunderstood Doe’s reaction to seeing this abandoned summer house. On the contrary, Doe only remembers the happy memories and does realize that her parents and grandparents provided all they could and knows that she had a wonderful childhood. However, looking at the place with the eyes of an adult, especially a well-traveled one, she realizes she grew up in poverty. She simply acknowledges a striking disconnect between her memories and reality. This trip was indeed very nostalgic and meaningful for her. There is no element of shame in what she is saying – she is simply making as much of an objective observation as she can.
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September 8th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
I have to say Doe, that was a beautiful home! I can just imagine it when it was in its glory days, it would have been like a fairytale cottage! I can simply not say enough how much your life amazes me, afterall, how many people can make it so far, and even more, how many people have never stopped? you, you are one of those amazing people that never run out of love for the world!
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September 8th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Doe, this post gave me such an warm feeling! Jeez!
I’ve always wondered, when I looked at abandoned houses, what kind of memories lived inside of it…
It’s true that the world is completely different from the eyes of a child…
It’s strange to say that but I’m sure the house felt happy when it saw you such a beautiful woman…
(I’m really atached to my parents house…. I wonder how it’ll be when I’m no longer here ^^’)
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September 8th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
♥ Sylvie
I most certainly have nothing but fondest memories of that place and my grandparents. I think that’s exactly why I wanted to go back, to re-live those moments. There are many things I’m thankful to my grandparents for and giving us a wonderful childhood to remember is one of them.
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September 8th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
The area has such a haunting quality to them!
I love how you manage to look great, despite the fact that you are breaking into an abandoned building, surrounded by weeds taller than you!
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September 8th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
So cool to visit there and so sad to see how it looks now.
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September 8th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
I had the same sort of reaction when I went back to places I lived…sort of a ‘wow, this is how it really was’. You just never notice as a kid.
And you have a GORGEOUS voice!
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September 8th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Question: Did you salvage the lenin poster? it’d be neat to have one from russia for class ^_^’ I need to stop teachering all over your blog >.>
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September 8th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Wow. It’s really surreal to think about how much has changed since then, huh? I can’t imagine going back somewhere I grew up in and finding out that it was abandoned and half the things were stolen…
Was it ok to eat the wild raspberries like that? I was a little surprised that you ate them without washing them or anything. …Then again, my dad does that with the fig trees in our back yard, so I guess it’s safe.
Also, I just wanted to point out that you have a lovely accent, too. :)
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September 8th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
hmmm….it posted that only and not the rest of the post. ANYWAY
Its great to go back, I can tell that it was fun to go back and reminisce. Its greatly appreciated that you would share this with us, just to get to know you even better than we already do.
Thanks so much! ^_^
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September 8th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
It’s horrible what they did, even ripping off the paper from an icon! I came back to something that wasn’t as fabulous as I imagined:the dacha(nothing as bad as that one, though). It was small, old, dusty, but filled with happy memories. I guess i just imagined it to be a palace? They fields I played in as a child were still somewhat there, they won’t be for long, the forest I loved to go mushroom picking in is already being trashed and invaded with new houses. My favorite swing is gone, but it’s still nice to come back and see how beautiful it is there. I’ve missed the white birches, the quiet neighborhoods, the beautiful flowers, the nightingale singing, and the friendly neighbors,. It’s so quiet and peaceful there, I have to admit that I like it better somehow. I am grateful for living in the US, just so nostalgic for the past. My grandparents still think we’re so rich because we live in America, there is some truth to that, I’ll admit. XD
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September 8th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
I would think that would feel unreal and nostaglic. Beekeeping grandparents :)
I think your accent is cute as well.
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September 9th, 2009 at 12:32 am
Thank you so much for sharing. It’s amazing to see these videos and you sharing your story. It really makes me stop and remember the tiny little house in the oldest part of town my parents owned when I was little. The house had been in our family forever. Four walls and a lot of love. Our lives have changed so much over the years – standard of living is vastly improved, and yet, that was still home. My heart tugs the strongest when I think of the chilly Christmases huddling under mounds of blankets and wearing wool hats inside the house.
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September 9th, 2009 at 2:35 am
Oh, you spoke Russian and my heart jumped. I know that you are Russian but I’ve never hear you speak it before. Such a beautiful language.
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September 9th, 2009 at 2:43 am
That was so cool to see. I was laughing at the ammout of shots of your butt ended up in there. It was funny how you just popped those raspberries in your mouth.
I hope it wasn’t too dissapointing you looked upset when you saw how bad it was. Sorry everything got taken.
I know how you feel about not noticing being poor when you’re small. In my case My grandparents on both sides were middle-upper middle class and lived in big houses in nice neighborhoods. We were poor and live in a bad neighborhood but I never knew the difference besides the size of the houses: more room to play in. =)
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September 9th, 2009 at 3:35 am
It’s always strange going back to somewhere where you went as a child, especially if you haven’t been back for a while…it’s almost always a culture shock . On a completely separate note: I LOVE your accent :)
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September 9th, 2009 at 5:10 am
It was horrible to see your house torn up like that for me too, I would’ve have got quite upset I think. However humble it seemed though you could still see that it was once a beautiful little home. Thanks for sharing it with us Xenia.
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September 9th, 2009 at 6:19 am
oh i really love your videos! and i love hearing you talk russian! more!!
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September 9th, 2009 at 6:26 am
Thanks for your answers, Kat and Doe! I indeed misunderstood your reaction.
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September 10th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
oh doe :3 i love your accent.
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September 10th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
That must have been wonderful. I wish I could go back to my childhood home like you, but it was demolished a while ago. I used to live in a house made of wood kinda like your grandparent’s house here in Puerto Rico. I still dream about that house almost everyday.
Like you, when I was a child I was not conscious that me and my family lived in the sticks, and to me the house was a haven.
Thanks for sharing this.
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September 11th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
http://www.deere.com/en_US/deerecom/usa_canada.html far distant cousin, perhaps? :P
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