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Welcome to November’s DDBD! If you are new to the blog, it’s a little tradition we have when each month where I ask you a question and you give me your answer – in exchange for a chance to win a mystery package! The only way to find out what’s in the box is to win it.
To enter, answer this (and this month’s question is a little strange):
How well do you fit within your gender? If you’re a girl, do you display behaviors that could be considered ‘boyish’, and vice versa?
My answer: On the outside, I fit (and quite possibly supersede) the expectations of what a typical female is supposed to be. I love dresses and makeup and color pink. On the inside, it’s a struggle: sometimes I feel very much like a boy stuck in a girl’s body! I cross-dress a lot for that reason, haha. I think gender-deviance & ambiguity is fun and find it quite attractive on others!
Your turn, deerlings! You have one week to submit your answer – please post it in comments, not by email – those won’t count! Winner will be picked at random and announced on Monday, November 23.
I think I break all the gender rules which society set on what a girl is meant to be like. I hang out more with “the guys” and do more boy-ish things, I suppose. However, like you, I do love fashion and make-up and it’s the thing that I find defines me the most.
For me it depends on the occasion. Sometimes I’m the most girlie of girls and sometimes I’m as tomboyish as they come. I think I’m more of a boy. Being around boys all the time has made me more boyish but I enjoy dressing up and wearing dresses as the next girl. It’s a mixture, a very weird one. Still I’m very happy with it :D.
Interesting question! I find that I very much identify as a “girl” in the sense that I love pretty sparkly things and cute baubles and such. I am, however, much more comfortable in the company of boys…and girls who are not catty. I also am more physically comfortable in jeans and tshirts and flats. But I still love wearing bright fun makeup and getting dressed up for special occasions.
I’m a girl, but I don’t wear make-up (at least not on a daily basis) and I have short hair. Which is both considered pretty boy-like. I do however wear skirts on a daily basis – so I’m feminine like that.
Behaviour-like, I’m into video games, I tend to make sexual jokes and I’m no stranger to using bad words (Bad habits…) – so I guess that’s considered quite boy-like.
I’m also bad at talking about my feelings… Just like most men! ;)
But after all I’m pretty female-like.
Hilde Reply:
November 16, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Oh, and most of the people I consider friends are boys. Thought I’d add that.
I suppose that physically it varies dramatically.My dress sense and wardrobe ranges from the overtly girly (lolita dresses and the suckh like) to vert tomboyish,scuffed converse and ripped up jeans.Mentaly however i am very girly,i adore boys,shopping and all things sparkly and unique.My dress sense and mentality do not always match for ;)
xoxo
That is a great question! Considering the fact that I have hair just as short as any boy I go feel like I fit in with my gender because I am still very feminine in the way I dress. But at the same time I as fit in with the boys because of my personality.
i guess on the oustide, too, i fit in pretty well, but ive been a real tomboy before the age of let’s say…. 17? was wearing army pants, army boots, make-up was a foreign world to me. When i was in grade school i never saw point in Barbie doll and playing dressing up, bleh :P i was paying video games, climbing trees and doind mountain bike, not very popular amoung girls, i tell you :P
Now im completly addicted with make-up and clothing and i kinda go crazy when i spend a day with flats instead of high heels …. but… i still play video games a lot and hate little girl toys…. let aside Hello Kitty (because i’m japanese crazy :P)
I think for the most part I dress like the girly person I am. I love to wear dresses and tights. But then some days when I feel more laid back I’ll settle for my favorite jeans and a tank top. Although I must admit that guys’ clothes are probably the comfiest, so that’s an excuse to be boyish!
Also just to add in, it’s my 20th birthday on the 24th so I really hope I win!! Haha.
MarySunshine Reply:
November 16, 2009 at 6:21 pm
really? awesome, the 24th is my 21st! Happy Early Birthday!
gah sorry for the double post, can you delete the first one please? thank you ^^
When I was little, I was more of a tomboy, but today I absolutely love being girly. I love makeup, shopping, the color pink and dressing up. On the other hand, I do like a lot of more boyish things too; I love playing video games, and I drive a truck :)
*thoughtful* i don’t. i’m technically transgendered–i am male, on the inside, and desire my outside to fit that.
but i have many stereotypical female behaviours and interests: first off, i sparkle. *wry* i cover myself in glitter and neon and pink is one of my absolute favourite colours and i gotta say, these giant neon green star-shaped earrings? they look FABULOUS on me, baby. second, i’m…maternal. i willingly take care of children, and i’d (really, really) LIKE one of ‘em for myself, but *waves hand* that can’t happen, so. i wear make-up and, say, read this blog. >_> i’m small and thin and (for the moment) female-SHAPED. and you really cannot pay me to cut my hair.
but i’m not a girl. i don’t get girls, i’m better off hanging with a group of boys, and aside from all the glitter my interests tend to stay on the typically male side. i don’t WANT to be called ‘she’ or ‘her’ or whatever because it’s something i am violently violently NOT. *fumble* it’s hard to describe. i don’t feel female. i REALLY DO NOT FEEL FEMALE. and i don’t want to be treated as such because it feels wrong and weird and bad.
so.
i guess it’s kinda like in sandra fuhr’s old comic: “you can still be a guy and wear pretty socks.” i know who i am. who i am is a guy who sparkles and does well with young children.
I think on the outside sometimes I don’t fit. I wear a lot of unisex t-shirts and jeans and often very subtle make up. Inside, it’s a mix. I’m interested in typically male activities like first person shooting games, kickboxing and the like. At the same time however, inside I very much want to wear dresses and wear nice make up and love sewing my own clothes. I also have a great addiction to all things glittery.
Sometimes it can be very difficult as a lot of my outside look is based on fear of what my mom thinks and the inability to cope with her comments and ‘jokes’ while struggling inside to look and be what I want, which is the occasional jeans but also nice dresses, spiffy heels and intense eye make up. I think if on my own I would continue to often wear jeans and t-shirts but a lot more girl-ish things. So, in my own reality I think I would be a lot like you, girl-y on the outside but with plenty of boy-ish marshmallow (or maybe caramel, I always imagine boys as caramel) goodness.
Growing up, I just never had very much a concept that gender was something I should fit into. I played sports with my brothers at the same time I swooned over Taylor Hanson. Saying things to me like “girls just shouldn’t do that” is still something I absolutely cannot comprehend. Sometimes I’ll purposely rebel against people’s notions of what gender should look like, even though it’s not something I really spend a lot of time thinking about. (For example, I was contemplating shaving my head for the first time when I was 18 and my dad told me it wasn’t something girls should do…so I did it the next day. I just shaved it for my fourth time a few weeks ago, and I still wear makeup and pretty dresses and look damn good!) I don’t now, nor have I ever felt confused about fitting into one gender or the other. I just am!
I am sort of in between. I love to wear pretty boho/ hippie skirts but I almost never wear makeup unless I decide to be goth that day. I’ve always been one of the guys and I kind of keep to myself. I’m bisexual and that also puts me my in the guy zone and it’s fun to go “girl spotting” with my husband and our guy friends.
I’m definately not what you would expect for a girl my age, personality wise. I am 15. While most girls my age are stressing over boys and perfect grades I’m at home writing, messing around with my appearance, and just getting to know myself. So, yes. I am girlish, I just don’t act my age. ;)
I’m a very logic person, how can i say, i’m not that emotional, not that cute, does not that fan of pink, love to talk about fantasy books,videogames, tv series *nerd* xD, not of everyone expect in girls, it had turn to me feel like a boy in a girl body sometimes, but i do love art, makeup and dressing up, etc.
And i’m the only person to think that boys should like it too. xD
I pretty much break all the rules for gender. For years my mum used to ask me if I was a lesbian, I’m not and I always found it funny.
Until recently I hated the color pink (now I’m kind of obsessed with it), I still wear some shirts from the men’s section, and gag at romance movies. I’ve definatly girled up over the past couple years, but I’m still the sort of girl who instead of screaming when I see a snake runs over to grab it.
Doe,I am a female,I think I don’t fit evenly into either of the genders(male or female).I have to say it’s some what of a 50/50 cross if anything.I love to get dress up and wear false lashes,lipsticks in all shades,but sone times I feel more of a drag queen look when Im finished with my make up.Though I do love to wear one pieces and short dresses so days Ill feel a need for some cross dressing.I feel though fitting into your gender no one really can be exact because of how superficial it really is.we can’t all be Betty Crocker.But I leave you withy love oft raindow hair,ballet flats,short floral print dresses and of course unicorns.maybe I’m heading towards being a woman.oxox-Hannah
I am totally girly. I would never go out without makeup and I love everything that glitters. And skirts and dresses are just perfect for me.
And I love everything thats cute and girly. I just ordered new Munchkin cards, only because they glitter!
I’m definitely not a girly-girl! Sure, sometimes I like being pretty and shopping and all that hullabaloo – but I think I fit more with boys than with girls. I like video games and getting dirty and making fart jokes. :p Girls seem to be put off by my being “abrasive” – when really I’m just a playing around, jokey type of person. I try to reject stereotypical gender roles – that because I’m a girl, I’m expected to like pink (hate it!) and be sweet and quiet at all times – I am not that person.
My girliest vice? I collect aprons, vintage mostly. And then I bake in them. :D
Well, for the most part I act and think like a girl. I LOVE pretty things. However I am extremely low maintenance, dress very casually, and wear minimum amounts of makeup. I’ve never gotten my nails done, or colored my hair, and usually I’m always in desperate need of a hair cut.
I also live with two boys, so whenever I’m around them I am one of the guys. I really love pointless comedy and fart jokes, and I can be horribly perverted at times in a way that only men can be! I guess it really depends on who I am around at the time.
I veer more towards male, but I still have very girly qualities. I love typical boy things like cars, video games, and copious amounts of raunchy porn.
But I also love make up and dresses and pastel colors, and other various girl things.
I love to dress girly and wear bright pink lipstick and hot pink nails so i would say i am girly on the outside. I like the traditional roles of your the sweaty wood chopping male and im the tea sipping girly girl. However i do not always act like that, i make a point to keep a tomboy side that will pick up bugs and cuss like a sailor. just to even things out. too much of one thing can be bad.
In terms of how I dress, I’m a girl. I don’t even own a pair of trousers and bows and frills make me so happy. I love to cook and love kittens, I wear pink and adore makeup. But everything else is questionable, I love football and wrestling, I prefer men or more androgynous women for friends, I love cross dressing men and I definetly prefer to see women naked. In fact as a photographer I exclusively
photograph women because I find them so much more beautiful.
So I think in terms of the female cliche I both fit it and break it, who needs gender stereotypes anyway? It’s much more fun just being me!
On the outside, I’m very much a girl. No less than one pound of makeup, lace stockings, skirts, etc. But that’s the interesting thing with the Goth scene; boys can be boys, and boys can be girls, but there’s also lots of great aspects of fashion that naturally cross between gender bounds. For example, Goth men and women both love to wear eyeliner and some foundation, on occasion.
Inside, I’m quite tomboyish. I’ve always been able to tie my knots, build fires and shelters, and find my way in the wilderness. Hehe. Better than most boys, actually!
Wow, Doe Deere! I feel like I fit the description you gave for yourself. I’m super girly on the outside and love pink and fluffy things. But, I also have plenty of interests that are boyish and tend to get along better with guys.
I think I fit the typical gender expectations as I (like you) adore makeup and clothing and generally being a girl! However, sometimes I’m quite conflicted because I often feel that I’m too much of a girl and yet other times I feel that even though I’m very girly I still don’t represent society’s preferred image of a beautiful woman.
What an interesting question! I was a real tomboy until the age of about 15. I had short hair, wore baggy clothes and had no female friends! However, just after my 15th birthday I changed comletely. I became obsessed with the colour pink, spent all my money on makeup and clothes and grew my hair long and girly! Now at 17 I don’t own a single pair of trousers, and my room is painted gold and pink with glitter everywhere. My idols used to be people such as Bam Margera, whereas now they’re female superheroes such as Tarina Tarantino and of course you Doe :) I suppose in the end, although I still play videogames, my friends are all boys and I go quadbiking on a regular basis, I am a true girly girl, both inside and out! <3
I’m fairly normal, I’d say, but only because my weird qualities balance out the girly ones. I like to wear eye makeup and wear some feminine shirts, but I’m also a science nerd and sorely wish I had been blessed with male anatomy. I don’t consider myself very pretty and sometimes have minor self esteem issues, but in the kind of relationships I have, that is no issue. I love to draw and sing, and have been told I should consider illustration for children’s books.
Heh, I am me and as long as people accept that, it doesn’t matter!
I am very much a girl. I love wearing dresses and interesting makeup, I also love pink and boys. Horror movies scares the crap out of me, it takes next to nothing to make me cry and I enjoy shopping way more than watching som silly football game on TV. When that is said, I’m not a typical “girly girl”, I’m more like a “no she didn’t girl”, but far from a boy (all though I have on several occations been mistaken for a boy, without makeup).
Great question!
I guess I would say it’s a bit of a mix. Outwardly, I am usually found with painted nails and makeup. However, I am not a big fan of dresses and usually opt for super-baggy men’s jeans. Despite my distaste for traditional girly clothes, I am really into fashion and find ways to put a feminine twist on boyish clothing. The inside is pretty much the same story; I spend a great deal of my time reading fashion magazines and trying out makeup-tutorials. Although, I am also a huge fan of MMA fighting and working on cars.
It very change with my mood and all… Sometimes i really feel like wearing makeup and taking time to do my hair, wearing my heels and feeling sexy. Some other day i just feel like a pair of olf running shoes and t-shirt. I like a lot of thing on the both side. One day i can be very female, the other day i’m playing video game all day long. So i really depends on my mood i guess. Also if i’ve been in a female mood for too long, i tend to have a “relax day” to act like a boy, and vice versa. It’s so a strange thing when we take the time to think about it! xD
Sometimes I wish there were no genders in the world. There would be so much less confusion on how we are “supposed” to act or dress. Almost every day I find myself wishing that I could switch genders for just one day and see what it would be like. I do enjoy dressing more “boyish” on some days, because honestly it requires much less effort than dressing girly. On the other hand I love dressing up and putting on makeup and frilly dresses and feeling like a princess. I guess you could say I’m somewhere in the middle of my gender or that I change from day to day.
People have called me ‘the girliest girl they know’! But I’m very straightforward, and not afraid of bugs, haha.
I very much so identify as a girl, but in my group of friends, most of them are guys. I am known as the girl who is almost one of the guys because I am the person they all come to for advice and to confide in. I am very much so a girl in terms of my personality, and I never really feel boyish, but I love being the girl in my group of guys. The best way I have ever heard myself be described is if my friends went on a trip they would want me there because I am a good time and I am not a typical girl, but i would also be the responsible one and make sure they eat.
I wear frilly dresses, I shop obsessively, I text like crazy, and I explode on the inside when I see something cute. However, I also love off-roading, playing fps games, watching (and shouting at!) boxing matches, and dressing in “drag”–fake moustaches and eyebrows included! I was a major tomboy growing up, and that is a part of me I never want to let go of :] but I am still down for mega gossip over some coffee with girlfriends!
i am… not quite sure actually! on the outside i be a bright frilly colourful mess, studying makeup and interested in fashion and kittens and whatnot but i definitely love getting my hands dirty and making things-i really want to start in metalwork. or at least jewelry haha! between me and my best friend, im the harsher, ruder, gutsier one more likely to chill in a hoodie and jeans… and hes the boy! so im a bit of both. just a bit girlier on the outside. but thats not to say im not girly in the inside too…
on a completely non gender specific note, where the hell is the apostrophe key?! i downloaded a new internet browser app on my phone and theres no apostrophe wtf!
I am probably a good in-between on this. I love to dress up, but I love to wear work boots and jeans (I usually am dressed up), and I’m both a giant sissy brat, and much tougher than a lot of girls I know. It really just depends on my mood!
I think I’m more on the girly side… Even if I wear mostly pants, and a LOT of black, I adore anything that is pink and sparkles. Eheh ^^ I dislike sports very much, as well as most “boyish” activities…
PS: I LOVE a girly boy! <3 So pretty!
Hm… well I am a lolita, so I dress very girly, but I do not like to use products or heat stylers in my hair, or to put makeup on every day… I DO love to do nails though… so maybe I am a mixture?
Mostly I hang out with only guys (I didn’t even realize that until someone pointed out that in all the photos I took of my outings, I was the only girl…), which I think is fun but then I feel bad to go look too long in the Hello Kitty store or clothes stores!
It is hard to say what is “girl” and what is “boy”, so in the end, I hope that I am just happy!
I’m a mix =] While I’m actually very cute and cuddly I’m also one of the guys, and that’s the way it’s always been for me. Even as a kid I had a Barbie and an Action Man. Nowadays I hang out with as many girls as I do boys, I relish female company for mutual love of shopping, make up and boys, but also male company for talk of video games, comic books and “guy” films =D I’m pleased to find that both genders are happy to be silly and immature or wise and worldly at different times. Ah, the best of both!
I love dressing up, and wearing make up. You know, all that girl stuff. But then some of my style is ‘boyish’. I love shaved heads, I have a shaved patch in my hair. I would just love to have a Mohawk one day. I do not get along with girls, very well. I’m mostly friends with guys or girls that act like guys. Also when I was younger I thought of myself as a boy trapped in a girls body. I even asked my Mother if God sometime makes mistakes and puts boys in girls body’s. So, I guess I’m just a little more boyish. :)
LOVE cross dressing! I’m always wearing my boyfriends clothes head to toe! I don’t know why I like doing that so much, it just feels right and call me crazy but I think it looks GOOD on me. Having said this, no matter how manly my clothes are I always wear my hair in a girly style and wear lots of make-up! and I love dressing feminine for special occasions.
Personality wise I like to think I possess the best stereotypically female and male traits hehe. Oh – I can’t get enough of pink and disney princess’s though!
So i’m a really manly girly girl or something.
My personality is a 50/50 split: I love doing makeup and wearing ridiculous lace and frills, and am also completely at home in ruddy flip flops, boxers, and zombie t-shirts. I’m incredibly sensitive at times and brash and blunt the next. And, though I love my body, I do occasionally wish I had a smaller (if not non-exsistant) bust and less curves; that I could be more androgynous. I don’t follow most gender stereotypes, and I really wouldn’t have it any other way. C:
Interesting question!
I would have to say i am most definetly a girly girl, i never really showed any interest in boys things. Not boys toys or cartoons. Perhaps i am almost sickly sweet. In fact i act like a little girl way below my years, i think i cling to my gender of female because its the only thing that i feel is correct about me. I sometimes wonder, how life would be if i were a boy but i just can’t imagine it because i so suit being a girl. It is most definetly in my nature, i have never had moments where i wished i were a boy, nor have i ever been a tom-boy in the slightest, because i just love being a girl. It is strange though, that i happen to hang around with girls who are very much tom-boys. Funny that, they always laugh at the things i like ( in a good natured way). When i ask them why they are like that they just insist that although they are tom-boys they do have their girly moments. I do understand some people who are quite boyish or even those who want to change their gender but i don’t feel that way personally although to imagine being a girl and wanting to be a boy or vise versa makes my heart ache, how horrible must that be? But i am most certainly, without a doubt a true girl. Unicorns, Fairies, pink the lot :L Girliest girl you could meet!
(:
Well, my favourite color is pink, i love make up, glitters, and cute things, but i play to video games, i’m a sort of “geek” i know a lot of things about a computer, i love movie with action i’m geek and girly ! haha
I’m a girl, with man brain -but sometimes i don’t understand my boyfriend at all!- xD
Despite the dozens of dresses and heels in my closet, I’m a total boy on the inside! I love dressing feminine and pretty, but no matter how I look, I’ll always be down for a game of touch football or wrestling with my boy. I love any sort of physical game and I’m not afraid to get rough, even if the ruffles on my dress get dirty! When I was younger, I was all boy, inside and out. As I matured however, I began to love to express my feminine and girly side but, no matter how much I love to look dainty, I can’t resist any sort of tom-boyish wrestling or rough housing!
Well, I am a bit like you to be honest. They say I look like the most feminine female they’ve ever seen, harmless and cute and princess of glitter all in one.
On the inside, however, I feel nothing, nothing at all like a woman. I am ambitious and strong and optimistic and I never cry. When tragedy strikes, I’m the one to take things under control and make the right decision. I won’t let go nor show my femme-ish side (i.e. panicking, crying, breaking down…) until the situation is resolved. I’m also the one to keep my family together when it seems to be falling apart, the one who will do anything it takes to help others, even if that leads me to jobs that are completely unglamorous!
I also get insterested in subjects that girls often put aside, such as philosophy, politics, business… one day I dream of founding my own photography studio and open franchises all over Europe, as it will create imges in a register never seen before.
When I say this to people they go like «wohoo… you sound nothing like the girly girl who first seemed to be!»
Most people say I am a boy on the inside.
They say my apartment is a single young man’s apartment.
I’ts always cluttered and messy, undone dishes everywhere, my fridge is empty except for ketchup and some beers, and I own a huge ass TV and videogame consoles.
Very interesting question.
As someone who’s questioning (possibly bisexual) I’ve put a lot of thought into this issue. I’ve always been “one of the guys” and had a much easier time relating with them. I do love fashion and make-up although I tend to use make-up in a more subtle way (I love your make-up posts because I like to do my friend’s make-up really outrageous for them). I dress in a tom boy style, although I have am very curvy. I constantly find myself attracted to boyish looking girls and girlish looking boys…I’m not really sure why that is. I find girls more aesthetically pleasing, but I have a stronger physical attraction to boys. Although outwardly it may look like I don’t really identify with my gender, I do. I feel that being a girl is more about being complex and tender and emotional…not about loving sparkles and kittens (although that’s part of it too!)
=)