I found this old picture and realized that’s exactly what my life looks like right now. It’s like walking through an enchanted garden – or a maze, if you will – twists and turns, lefts and rights, no way to predict what’s around the bend. But so long as I’m still journeying… My friend LaCarmina said, “In our line of work, you have to deal with an insane number of ups and downs, round and rounds… but it’s better (?) than mundane normalcy.” Well ain’t that the truth! And it’s not just the number of ups and downs, but the intensity of each swing.
Looking back just a year ago, things were so much simpler: if I failed, I failed on a minor scale; if I succeeded, I enjoyed a small victory. If this is is how ‘normal’ feels, I don’t miss it! I would rather live a life in the fast lane where the stakes are high. Going from a start-up nobody wanted to know to signing a deal with a 75-store chain in a year (don’t let anybody tell you you can’t do it!) turned my world upside down. But I don’t like to celebrate early. I am grateful for the opportunity but it is just that – an open door, and how I fare in the room remains to be seen. I haven’t proven myself yet.
I have high hopes for SpaceNK and will do everything in my power to make it a success. Funny, while I was busy fighting the fight, I didn’t notice that the mountain began to move. People seem no longer afraid of color - especially in eyeshadow. According to a New York Times article, colorful lids are everywhere – even brides are wearing lime green on their special day. Just a few years ago, this would be unthinkable; it’s amazing to see many companies – new and old – making brights. To me, this is the real victory.
In other news, Mark finally finished his economics degree and has been working by my side since January. Sometimes I can’t believe how quickly he picked it up – he is more knowledgeable about cosmetics than some women I know! Just the other day he was advising some ladies at Sephora who thought he worked there. :) The girls have been amazingly supportive as well; can you believe I’m meeting Anna for the first time in April??? Up until now it’s been all email and Twitter.
But nothing that looks easy really is. There’s been a good helping of unavoidable strife and anxiety. I don’t like to complain, but the past 6 months have been trying for me. Not the least of which was the fact that I now have people who strongly dislike me for who I am and look for ways to bring me down. When they first started popping up, it really bothered me. Why would somebody want to see me fail? For a while, I thought maybe it was my fault; I guess it’s like having an abusive parent who tells you you’re no good every day, you just want to be that perfect child so bad. So I tried to appear to be perfect, trying to please everyone. Everyone knows that doesn’t work. You can’t fix it if the problem is not you. What really helped was meeting other bloggers/artists – and what do you know? We are all going through the same thing! No matter who you are, how nice you are, or what you do, there will always be people who want to tear you down. It’s all a part of the game – the naysayers are a barrier, a test. The strong will grow a thicker skin and learn to go on. The weak will let it get to them and quit. I believe too much in what I do, I’m not quitting.
Oh, the garden. You’re so full of wonder and adventure. Sometimes you wear me out, sometimes you’re the very essence that keeps me going.
You are so very amazing in everything you do.
Doe Deere Reply:
March 12, 2010 at 4:48 pm
Thanks so much Kelsey. It means a lot. xo
Well written, Doe. Everything is a test, and everything happens for a reason, and it’s the obstacles and the overcoming of those obstacles that makes life so interesting and fun. I believe in what you do, also, and I never took on what others have said about you. It’s the people who support you that should be focused on, and I’m so glad you do! Congratulations on all your success so far, you truly deserve it. there’s nothing like your dream becoming reality!
Your analogy to the abusive parent made me very sad-I’m sorry so negative people make you feel that way. You don’t need to please or prove yourself to anyone, just yourself.
Doe Deere Reply:
March 12, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Don’t worry, I don’t really feel that way any more. Takes you by surprise at first but you get over it eventually :)
I’ve been following your internet life for a while now (when “Doe Deere” first started as a band?!) and I can’t see how anyone could say anything negative about you. You’ve always come across as super sweet, genuine, and motivated. You should be proud of your success & excited for your future. Normalcy is lame. Rise up! xoxo
Fantastic post, Doe!
You have achieved so much in such little time. I am certain that this is just the prelude to more amazing things in your future. You are a creative genius! I feel blessed to have you as a friend. :)
xo Jess
I think it’s amazing what you’ve managed to achieve, you’re a great role model for women everywhere. Keep going and doing what you do, I’m sure you have nothing but a very bright (no pun intended, haha!) future ahead of you =).
I’m glad that you don’t give up! You really are an inspiration to me, I’m hoping to start up my own clothing line and seeing how hard you work at what you love brings me great joy and I hope that I can be even half as dedicated as you!
Besides, all those people that are being mean? They’re totally just jealous of how awesome you are ;]
When you start out on a project it’s amazing the number of people who will volunteer reasons why it will fail and such a relief when you find those few who say “go for it”! So go for it and enjoy the journey.
i thought they were selling your lipsticks at space nk ? checked today and no show
XXX
LOVE FROM MONIKA POPPY
LIVING IT UP IN LONDON
Doe Deere Reply:
March 12, 2010 at 4:46 pm
We’re launching in mid-April. :)
I see you’ve encountered the Naysayers. I actually wrote a blog about them awhile back, and how it’s so frustrating that people who are supposed to be your friends try to bring you down.
I’ve heard everything from the subtle, “That’s great that you think you can make a living from your art.” all the way up to my tax preparer hinting that I was cheating the government by registering my “art hobby” as a business. There are friends who tell me I should just be happy as a waitress, which is ridiculous.
You are doing the right thing and an awesome thing at that. Screw all those naysayers that try to bring you down. I honestly think the vast majority of them are just jealous. They see you following your dream and resent you because they don’t have the guts or drive to do it themselves.
Oh well. In the end you win, they lose, but I can understand not wanting to deal with their negativity. Best of luck, Doe!
You are such an inspiration to me! Not just in your freedom of expression and being colorful and daring but also in your entrepreneurial spirit and having the daring to do what you love, make it your craft, and make that your career. I’ve been sharing your site with my friends who love to wear makeup and go to clubs dressed to kill, and I wish you many successes on your journey!
Comedian Katt Williams’ famous rant on haters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7z_ztMxBgk
(Warning: outrageous profanity, but he makes a good point)
Doe Deere Reply:
March 12, 2010 at 4:47 pm
HAHAHA! I laughed so hard, thank you!!
You can’t please EVERYONE. Might as well please yourself, right?
Keep doing what you love best – you have A TON of people that love and admire you :]
You are truly an inspiration♥
Hi there…I started checking out your blog hmmm maybe last week…I came across your blog looking up things about style and bla bla…anyway I totally understand what your saying. Its hard when people want to poo all over your dreams. Im part of a new business myself and we’ve been around a year now as of tomorrow. All I have to say is never quit. You rock.
Jen Lee
Love this post, Doe. You go girl <3 don't let anybody get you down!
Doe Deere Reply:
March 12, 2010 at 4:48 pm
Thanks Kuri! I won’t!
How inspiring, I love to walk through Enchanted Gardens. When I grow up, I want my life to feel like a kaledeoscope of Central Parks on a friday morning! Don’t give up, and don’t feel bad. You are my role model, and I can’t belive you ever felt scared or stressed with your magical life! I think you can do anything, and don’t worry about what haters say. Even on my small blog, I get the occasional comment of how ugly I am or that I’m starved for attention/fame just for starting a blog. Well who cares about them?
Thank you so much for posting this. You inspire me so much. I needed to hear that today. Starting your own business is really hard. I so admire your attitude you have had with all this. Im so happy for your success. I truly believe in what you are doing and hope my company will be as amazing as yours one day.
Oh, that picture is beautiful! Reminds me of Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland – have you seen it yet? I loved it!
Sorry to hear the past 6 months have been a bit trying…people can be mean. :c
You’re a constant inspiration to most though; including me. I’m hoping to get a website up and running (I have no idea where to start haha, websites are so confusing!) so I’m always looking at your tips for starting up a business. :)
pleease get another store to start selling your lippies in the U.S. I want LimeCrime more accessible to me ! (:
This photo of you really reminds me of a photo of my mum taken in the mid 70′s…. She had the same hair style and was standing in a garden, but wearing a dark maxi dress. It’s spookily similar!!
Hey!
I just wanted to say I’m an avid reader of your blog and love all your tutorials. I’m in the UK and I really can’t wait to be able to buy your stuff in Space:NK =]
Hugs xxx
Doe Deere Reply:
March 15, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Cool! Are you anywhere near London? Cause if you are, I’m doing in-store meet-ups with fans and would love to meet you in person. :)
It’s terrible that people are trying to bring you down, but for every hater their are probably a thousand fans.
I know that you have inspired me to consider making my dream of being a professional photographer a reality, once I finish high school. Seeing what you’ve done, it’s made me realize that anything it possible, if you try hard enough.
First of all I want to apologize about my english. I’m still learning. Btw, I’m from Poland.
All I want to say is that you’re beautiful. I’m impressed by your look. I love bright colours, and thanks to you I’m going to start using colourful eyeshadows and wear only “mine” crazy clothes. My friends already told me that I’m not normal and so different than other people, but i don’t care now. Thank you very much!
Once more: You’re brilliant!
Doe Deere Reply:
March 15, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Oh, stop it! Your English is perfect. And thanks so much. :)))
You deserve all the success you get!
It’s impossible to please everyone, as much as it hurts there’s always going to be someone who puts you down and hates you for some reason. We’ve just got to keep on and draw inspiration from all those who love what you’re doing, I guess.
Gorgeous! I love both the picture and the writing <3
What a beautiful post! =) You’re always such an inspiration.
A smart, beautiful and successful woman can be threatening to some. Hold tight to your vision and to those who support you. For every naysayer there are many more “yaysayers” who want nothing more than to see you succeed.
Rock on Doe Deere!
Dear Doe, ever since I found your blog (maybe a year ago), it has been one of my all time favourites. I don’t comment much and I don’t make much compliments, but you must know that I admire your intelligent judgements, your positive way of thinking and your creativity.
Much love and support from me!!!!
Thanks for your support everybody! It means the world to me!!!
May I just say that you’re such an amazing person! You spread so much inspiration and GLEE!! I believe in what you are doing and the work you are putting in. It doesn’t matter that others out there are disapproving. No one can like everyone, so they say! But if you stay true to yourself and what you believe in, then you are golden. And for that, many many people will love you— many already do!
Thank you for being a bright inspiration to me to keep on the path of creativity and reaching to greater things. I wish you nothing but worlds upon worlds of success!! :)
People who are weak and unhappy can’t handle the envy they feel toward stronger and happier people, so their spitefulness overflows on to other people, and they get a lot of satisfaction making others feel distressed and hurt. I only feel sorry for people who are that unhappy, rather than letting any of their negativity get me down. Stay strong and be grateful you know how to lead a happier life than they do!
Doe Deere Reply:
March 15, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Great advice Christine! Many of us could take it to heart.
This blog post makes me sad and feels like a lie. Do your research consumers.
I love how you think it’s your own personal victory and bringing colour to the masses. It’s adorable
Rebecca Reply:
March 15, 2010 at 1:59 am
She never said that. You mis-read it.
Doe Deere Reply:
March 15, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Color makes me happy so it does feel like a victory. Look at all these people – they made it happen. To me it’s a cause enough for celebration.
Also, if my blog makes you sad maybe you shouldn’t read it – it’s certainly not its purpose. :)
Building a brand is a tough gig, but the end results with be worth the ups and downs I am sure.
Doe, there will always be people who want to shoot your down when you are making a name for yourself, but do NOT listen to any of it!
These are small minded blog people that use what little talent they have in a negative way. It’s always easy to find fault in other peoples work and lives, these people are in my mind just jealous of your success.
So go build your empire and show them all what you and Mark are made of!!
I love the brand, the colours, the packaging all of it!!! I may be your oldest fan at 56? Yes even at my age I love the colours…
Jill
Doe Deere Reply:
March 15, 2010 at 4:54 pm
Hey Jill,
How nice of you to say. :) It never ceases to amaze me how wide a range of people has shown their support!! xo
yeah it’s true. you can’t please everyone. and you can go so long trying to do that you forget what you really want. I myself am learning to not listen to the people i look up to and listen to my own voice. i hope you garden begins to have more butterflies and less meany mosquitoes.
You have inspired me for so long, and your success is just proof that as long as I follow my dream and are true to myself I can do whatever I want.
I have decided to try to become a director, it is what I have dreamed of since I was a child and now I realize that as long as I put my mind, heart and soul into it it can become reality.
This is what you do to people, you inspire us to follow or wildest dreams. Keep it up and don’t let the haters bring you down. We are backing you up.
That’s a cool picture! I just discovered your website and I really like your make-up ideas. It’s the kind of make-up I’m definately not used to, but I’d like to try sometime to escape from the plain neutrals I usually wear!
I hope you’ll visit my fashion blog at http://www.jenny‘sopencloset.blogspot.com
i’m really happy for you xenia. 100%. it couldn’t happen to a nicer person and couple! cheers to breaking down barriers and doing it our way. <3
Dear Doe,
Did you see Beyonce’s yellow eyeshadow in the new ‘Telephone’ video by Lady Gaga?
I thought of you (and the wonderful Treasure Chest magic dust).
Is Candyfuture already upon us?
XOXO
Doe Deere Reply:
March 15, 2010 at 4:51 pm
I hope so!
Hi Doe, i just want to say that I LOVE your work. I just found your blog and have spent the last hour looking at your pictures. Lovely! <3
Doe Deere Reply:
March 15, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Hi Evelina, thank you so much. I hope you enjoy my blog further and I look forward to seeing your comments. xo
The louder your naysayers, the more you know you’re doing it right. To paraphrase the great Katt Williams, they’re doing their jobs, if you’re doing yours. :)
What stuns me is, do they NOT realize how STUPID they all sound? I mean, REALLY, Haters, it’s MAKEUP. Come ON. You’re gonna get catty and snippy over MAKEUP? With all that is going on in the world…MAKEUP? And you wonder why legitimate business people have no respect for you? And you wonder why the vast majority of my friends are MEN?(Xenia, of course, is one of my female friends…!)
Crap like this only reinforces the misogynist stereotypes that some men have today (I am NOT condoning it. I’m just saying…if you want respect, you have to earn it. Being catty to a female business owner isn’t a real feminist thing to do…:) ).
There is enough room in the world for EVERYONE who wants to make a living doing what they love to do. The difference between you, Xenia, and the rest of them…is that you actually DO it, not just sit around slugabed and talk about it.
In my experience, people who are too busy making a life for themselves — and conquering the world in the process — don’t have the time or the energy to make YouTube videos dedicated to complaining over stupidity, or gossiping about someone who’s doing what they want to do. Think about it: in the amount of time it takes to make a YouTube video kvetching and moaning about WHATEVER, one could be doing so many more constructive things with his/her time that would actually constitute something along the lines of a MARKETABLE SKILL (in the time it took me to write this post, I learned about new WordPress plugins. See? Marketable skill. ;) ). No one — employer, investor, etc. — views the ability to gossip and complain as a marketable skill.
There are PLENTY of people I don’t like (who, me? LOL), but I could care less about them so long as they stay out of my way. And we see how well that’s served me. :)
Bottom line: I know it’s easier said than done (do I ever…), but it’s best not to let them get to you. They are a boil on the butt of humanity, and no better than the cockroaches that feed on the poop my dogs leave on the sidewalk. They’re not even in your UNIVERSE, let alone your LEAGUE.
And in re: Abbii: aww, look. The little girl learned how to use Teh Internetz. I used to see your type at various shows of bar bands throughout the NYC metro area…nice to see you’re as irrelevant now as you were then. :) Try reading a BOOK…you might learn something, even if it’s little more than “Pat the Bunny.” (And don’t try insulting me, Little Girl. I’m not one you want to make angry. Ask about me. :) ) Now, run along…it’s Nap Time. :)
Abbii Reply:
March 16, 2010 at 7:38 pm
Wow, Such venom for one little comment.
Obviously this is not a place for honest opinion.
Feminism isn’t about women being better, it’s about women being EQUAL and, if a woman can’t take constructive or even non-constructive criticism then said woman doesn’t deserve a place in business.
People “complain and whine” for a variety of reasons, without discord nothing will ever change.
Doe you’re amazing. From the moment I found your blog I have felt sooo inspired to do what I love and to look beautiful and bright. I always get compliments from my friends about my make up now because I take so much more pride and creativity in the way I look. And it’s because you make all women/men who visit this blog feel beautiful and good about themselves.
I’m proud of you for becoming stronger re the haters. As you, your voice and your fans voices get louder, the haters will get quieter.
Thank you!
I’m a scientist & professional academic, and just about as totally hopeless at girly skillsets as the stereotypes imply. I adore paging through your site for the beauty, although I’m often left a bit wistful.
I’m pretty sure even if I had the skills, I’d end up looking more awkward than playful if I tried some of the awesome tutorials you’ve posted. Still, I need to play the Glamorous Scientist next week (the token geek at a Hollywood-style event), so maybe I’ll give it a try after all!
…which is a long, rambly way of saying: even if people give you grief, there’s others who are quietly admiring.
Belated Congratulations to Mark on graduating!
…And Doe YOU INSPIRE ME! <3