Mon 20 Jul 2009
Forward to the past
Category: Unicorn Queen

Izhevsk, Russia
On August 8th I am departing from the JFK International Airport to land in Moscow, Russia. A total of 10 days will be split between the capital and my hometown Izhevsk, with my sister and her boyfriend keeping me company. I won’t lie: I often envy those born in the big cities like Moscow & St. Petersburg – all they need to do is hop on the non-stop flight and voila, family reunion! For us, it’s a much more involved itinerary; 600 miles lie between Moscow and Izhevsk, resulting in 2 hours on the plane or 1 1/2 days by train.
My plans to visit Russia were conceived 6 months ago, on new year’s eve. Our last visit in 2002 wasn’t exactly idyllic: cramped schedule, jetlag and lots of complications took their toll – not the least of which was inability to withdraw cash from debit cards. Luckily, a lot has changed since; we now have friends and a nice place to stay in Moscow and a more flexible schedule to ensure we get to see everybody in Izhevsk. My goal is to have an enjoyable, relaxing and insightful trip.
I do have some unfinished mental business there. Maybe it’s an immigrant thing, but the nostalgia can become unbearable at times. Few people understand it – my far-away Russian friends can’t relate and certainly not Americans – neither have been yanked out of their environment and transplanted into a new place. Don’t get me wrong, I love New York with all my heart but I still have some strong ties to Izhevsk. Walking through South Brooklyn really hit home with me – the cracked pavement, lack of crowds and warm summer air impregnated with silk tree blossom all reminded me of my adolescent summers. A feeling of simplicity – something you almost never get in NY – enveloped my heart and I felt a strong urge to move & live forever in this unglamorous, castaway part of NY. I will always miss that uncomplicated life where friends and neighbors show up at your door step without warning, simply by ringing your bell – and are always welcomed.
There are a lot of things to be accomplished on this trip. Seeing my friend Zemfira, who had married, had a baby and converted to Islam over the years; reuniting with my dad – also re-married with a new baby, although no Islam – are just some of them. What I seek above all is perspective. Living in the same place for too long can extinguish the appreciation, and I’m not one for living without it. A great journey lies ahead that will hopefully give me some answers on where I come from, who I am, and how I got there.
Deerlings: have you visited your hometown recently? What were your impressions?

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August 7th, 2009 at 12:23 pm[...] my Forward To the Past post, I expressed my interested in Russia mainly as retrospective. Later on I realized that while [...]













July 20th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
I actually moved back to my hometown (a little place in the countryside), not because I missed it but simply because I wanted a change of scenery after living in the city for a few years. I’m glad that I did it :)
Good luck with your trip, Doe.
x
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July 20th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
This post brought me to tears, but be very careful. It’s still not exactly the greatest places to be, especially outside of the big cities there.
I went back to Kiev about 6 years ago, and having left when I was about 4 years old, it was so suprising to see how modern everything was. It was beautiful, but gone was my apartment building, my sadik, and in it’s place were high rises and cafes, which sort of broke my heart.
I wish you all the best on your visit home.
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July 20th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Your trip sounds wonderful!
I’m really curious and don’t want to sound lame, but how do you pronounce Izhevsk?
I’m unfortunately going back to my hometown in a couple of weeks. I’ve never liked my hometown, I’m from Mississippi and just never really fit in there.
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July 20th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Oh, I’m happy for you that you get to go home for a while. I’ve never moved as far as you have, but I’ve been away from my home town in Louisiana for a long time now. I’ve built a life for myself near D.C., and I love it, but I do miss home. Of course, I imagine life in that little town I grew up in is not as ideal as the way I remember. I remember it from a child’s perspective. I remember being taken care of. I remember summer vacation, going barefoot, eating crawfish, that kind of thing. Going back now is always rewarding. I go see the people who matter most to me, but I don’t get hung up on seeing every single person I used to know. I hope your trip goes beautifully. Take pictures and tell us about it, please!
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July 20th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
My hometown is about 1.5 hours from where I live in the city now. But it seems like a different world. I haven’t lived there in 16 years and after the past 7 in the city apparently I have changed because I went to a family reunion last week and I heard at least 4 times during the day “oh they are city folks” I didn’t think I had changed but I do know I feel suffocated when we visit the small town we are from. I much prefer the city I guess. Just didn’t know I had changed so much.
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July 20th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
This reminds me very much of my mom. In her early twenties she gave up her life as a circus dancer (yes, seriously!) in her home country of Poland to make her new life in San Francisco, where I was born and have lived my whole life. My mom loves San Francisco, but sometimes she misses her life and family in Poland so much it is hard to watch her try to cope. I have visited my Polish family only twice with her, and the European culture is so different from ours that I completely understand how it would be so shocking to emigrate from there. She misses the rustic landscapes and the hospitality, such as the Polish custom to set an extra place at the Christmas dinner table in case a homeless or lonely person wants to join the family for a night. Even simpler things, like missing the unpasteurized dairy and the language itself get my mom down.
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July 20th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
I still live in the same place and the same house that I grew up in.
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July 20th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
I’ve not been back to mine for over a year… it was an odd feeling… the same people were there doing the same things.. going to the same clubs, dating each other – the town itself had changed a little but not enough to feel foreign.
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July 20th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Hometown? I have a hometown? I’ve been too many times to say I have a true hometown (my dad was military). The answer is no, though. I haven’t been back to Bamberg, Bavaria, Germany since I moved when I was 2.5. I haven’t been back to any of the places I used to live. I get really truly homesick for the mountains though. The Bavarian Alps where practically in my backyard when I was Germany, the Rockies were in my backyard at Fort Huachuca in AZ, and the Rockies were an hour away at Fort Fitzsimons, CO. I spent the better part of six years surrounded by the mountains. I miss them a lot somedays here in IL.
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July 20th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
My boyfriend and I just came home from visiting our hometown (I was born is a small town of 500 people 20 miles away from his town of 28,000 people).
Even though he only left 2 years ago…it seems like I’ve grown so much. The people there are not the people I remember. The people they used to be were kind and generous. The kind of people you would love to have come over whenever. THe people now are cold and harsh. I don’t know if they really changed though, I think maybe I have.
I knew I was always different from the people there. But now I really realized it now. Even the friends I once had are racist and bigots. It hurts to know they may never get to grow because they don’t want to.
But, there are still good things there. My family still live there and they are amazing. Kind and generous just like I remember. And my best friend lives there and she is just the same as the first day I met her. We all grow as people, but we are still the same.
…I think I went off on a tangent and I don’t remember where I was going with this. :) Anyway, I hope you have a lovely trip, dolly. I know you’ll have a great time!
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July 20th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
I was born in Colorado; I have not seen that place since my family moved away from it. I spent 18 years in Alaska, in Juneau, and it is there that I actually had ties at one point. I went back last year when my brother graduated from high school, and to finish up some loose ends. While the nature and landscape of the state is beautiful and amazing, the people for the most part are not. The people were a huge reason as to why I left in the first place.
I have never forgotten the benefits and beauty of having trees all around though. I do miss having mountainsides covered in spruces and hemlocks all the way up to the snow lines, nestled around a glacier or two. I miss it, and I suppose if I ever go back there again I’ll have hundreds of photos of the landscapes and animals and maybe a handful of photos of people.
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July 20th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Some years ago we made a tv-program for the Hungarian television about Hungarians, who live in other countries. It was about how they are, what are the experiences…
I know a lot about their feelings.
And after my mother moved to Ireland from our little Hungarian village. She has been living there for 4 years now. We speak almost every day by skype, and sometimes she just starts crying. I travel to see her 2-3 times a year. Next time the 6th of August. She likes Ireland a lot, but when my mum comes to Hungary she feels like a stranger, or an outsider. Her Hungary remained in the past, and she doesn’t find it anymore.
I “just” live in Budapest, which is 4-5 hours by train from my hometown, but I used to buy the mineral water, which is from my hometown.:)
Excuse me my English.
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July 20th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
I’ve lived in the same city of Louisville, KY my whole life. The great thing about Louisville is we have both a huge city with nothing but hustle and bustle and also a large rural area surrounding the city. I just recently moved into the ‘downtown’ area. i live in the middle of everything now. the skyscrapers are right outside my window. i live in on the top floor of an old 1800′s building. i always used to hate this city so much (largely due to the fact that when people hear ‘Kentucky’ they think redneck when in fact the enviorment and people here are no different than say Chicago), until i was given the oppurtunity to live in London, England. After really thinking about it for a few weeks. it really terrified me. and i realized how much of this city that i took for granted. i began to see everything for the first time really. i came to appreciate it and just the idea of leaving it made me sick to my stomach. Everything i could hope for is right here. and it took just an oppurtunity for me to realize it. needless to say i turned down moving away and am very pleased with my new place right here in my hometown.
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July 20th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
I visited my hometown last month, it was a shock in both positive and negative ways. I’m from Sao Paulo, Brazil and I haven’t been there for 9 years before last month. I’ve ALWAYS wanted to go back, but every year money wouldn’t allow such a visit… I could feel my heart aching to go back every year that past. When I finally arrived there, I noticed the city itself hasn’t changed but it got massively overpopulated in the past few years. I never really noticed how much of the American culture I absorbed until I went back. It made me both happy and sad; sad because I wasn’t part of my culture as much as I wanted to be but happy because I was different. Like every city, the crime rate has gone up in the past few years, I was scared to walk alone at night but that fear should go for every female. However, even with all the negatives, I still love and will always love my hometown and I would go back again as soon as I have the finances too.
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July 20th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Being a military brat, I never really had a hometown, but my trips and travels have led me to places that I wish to live in someday! Like Singapore or Australia.
I know this is a little off-topic, but, Miss Doe, I’ve heard rumors that you used to dress lolita in the past. Would you mind posting some pictures?
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July 20th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
I’ve never left my hometown for any serious length of time, and even though I scorn it sometimes, I can fully sympathize with your nostalgia. Good luck on your trip, best of wishes. I hope that your home is as magical as it lives in memories!
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July 20th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
How wonderful that you are visiting your native home!
I guess at first it will be a bit of culture shock and getting adjusted but then you’ll notice many things that you didn’t know existed; the good and the bad. I just visited my country , Guatemala in April and after being absent for a few years it always feels new and different. I love enjoying the magic of nature, the jungle and pyramids but at the same time I recognize why my family and I left. There’s so much poverty, violence and injustice. I love my country, although I have been living in NYC for 20 years but I cannot move back, I am a New Yorker and understand that my parents wanted me to have a better opportunity in the United States. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you and your family have a fantastic visit to your homeland!
PS: Expect a wedding invitation in upcoming months ;)
Much love always,
Glendy :3
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July 20th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
I’ve just moved back into the house where I was born. What I consider my home town is about an hour away. I’d moved around my home state some but then spent 5-6 years in Alaska. It wasn’t the right place for me and I finally got out. I’m glad to be back to my normal life with real stores, malls, and events as opposed to extreme weather and seasons, fish, and empty. Moving to Alaska was a huge change for me, one I didn’t like. I don’t intend to stay here forever, but this was a nice place to come back to.
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July 20th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
It’s really fascinating reading about everyone’s home towns. :)
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July 20th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
I am so surprised to see “Tygenco” also grew up in Juneau, Alaska, and sees it the same way that I do. Now I’m curious who they are!
I was born and raised in a town of 30,000 people- with a lot of trees and ocean, and no roads out. It’s a beautiful town, with a lot of small minded people. I was so miserable by the time I finally left, that it has taken me four years to feel okay about visiting. Now I’m homesick almost constantly, but I know that I wouldn’t be happy if I moved back. I live in Seattle now (only a 2 and a half hour flight away) and my life is so completely different than it ever would have been if I had stayed there.
I feel like I am perpetually homesick for a place that doesn’t exist. I wish that I could visit and experience it the way that someone does who has never been there. I miss my family and I miss how beautiful it was and how connected you are to nature- but it’s the people who make a town, and it was never a good fit for me.
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July 20th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
I haven’t left my hometown! But I will be leaving within the year and I’m terrified. I live on a pretty small island, but it’s so comfortable! I don’t know what I’m going to do. Change pretty much terrifies me into a stupor.
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July 20th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Have a good trip. Just last week wet to my hometown for the first time in 3 years. was crazy to be back, so much different and so much the same. Still very happy I moved away.
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July 20th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
This is a very interesting topic, one that I have struggled with for a while!
I live in my home town now, but I yearn for other places. Or one other places.. which I consider “My new home”, or where my heart found its place:) It’s very right for me… so I am thinking, what am I doing here?
Will soon be leaving for that other place!
Am sure I will get home sick, it’s very different although it’s in the same country (culture, and less close to Paris, Berlin… :D )
Hope you get a great trip in Russia! :)
Love /i
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July 20th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
my parents have nostalgia for certain things like the fruit in tashkent, the air, the animals but they never for a millisecond regret their move. They definitly do not miss the people coming over, they present it in a much less picturesque way. they say it was more like rotting old babushki dropping by from the derevne (forest)to whine and complain and insult. i’m visiting my hometown in a few days and i hope it’s not such a dismal place, ridden with hobos and dirt as i remember it was when i last visited.
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July 20th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Actually, I still live in the same neighbourhood I was born in… Moved house once, but not neighbourhood.
Though, I do see how my father is quite homesick about his childhood house. My grandmother’s father had a big bakery when my dad was young and that building is now a book shop. I sometimes go there with my father, since we both have a passion for books, and I see him staring at the walls and doors, probably remembering how the furniture was placed when he was young. He used to tell me a story about a wooden case where they kept flour, my grandpa used to sit him there when he was naughty…
Good stories :D
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July 20th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Have an awesome time! such an adventure.
ummm, it’s always just boring going back to my old town, there’s nothing to do and as a result there are a lot of bored and angry people. I guess it makes me feel happy that I left to an exciting city as soon as I could and was not restrained to the town from lack of options etc
I really wanna go to Russia! I hope you can post some pictures.
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July 20th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
I haven’t been back to my hometown in almost 10 years, the thought of seeing how it has chnaged and everyone I left behind has changed scares me too much. I think I’d much rather remember as it remains in my childhood memories. I hope you have fun going back to Russia and seeing your friends and family again.
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July 20th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
That’s great, Doe that you get to go back to Izhevsk!! : D
Last time I visited the place where my parents were from (I was born in CA), was when I was eight and it was really fun! Although too much smog for my taste. (Shanghai)
But they say Shanghai is a bit more eco-friendly and that the air quality is not as bad as Beijing. :)
I might go again next year! <3~
When you go to Moscow, take tons of pictures of the architecture there!! <: D
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July 21st, 2009 at 12:16 am
I recently visited my hometown of Chicago. Being back in a big city compared to an almost-rural, mostly suburban town in Georgia is such a big change of scene. I never realized how much I missed all that noise and diversity, and it’s just Chicago! It makes me miss it more than I did when I first left, about 10 years ago.
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July 21st, 2009 at 12:42 am
My Hometown is Houston, Tx, and I never really missed much of it since I still live here.
Even during college, I didn’t miss much of Houston. I loved Ann Arbor, MI more than anything in the world, it fit me emotionally and intellectually. More importantly than that I didn’t have to search for a place to call my own, be it a bar, cafe, or vintage store, everything was in close proximity or within walking distance. Here in Houston, I have to drive 30+ min. to get anywhere I want (even my part time framing job which is a 15 min. drive with no lights, takes me at least 35 minutes to get to at rush hour). I missed the simplicity of Ann Arbor. When I return to see friends, and pick up my brother, I just feel like I’m home, like I belong.
Recently though, I realized how lonely I was in Houston. My best friend since Junior High returned home after a horrible situation with an ex boyfriend, and I realized how much I missed her. Its like a small part of me is back again, something I haven’t had in a while. My boyfriend got kind of jealous because he noticed how lonely I was, even with him, and he tried to fill that gap, but it wasn’t emotionally the same. Its like having a long lost sister returning.
I know it sounds mushy, but I do really feel like Houston is now becoming my home again, like I fit into Houston better than I had before…I don’t really know how to explain it, but I just now feel happier now than I had before.
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July 21st, 2009 at 8:16 am
Good luck on your trip!
I moved so many times when I was little, so I don’t really have a hometown where I was “born and raised,” but I do understand how you feel since my parents were immigrants themselves.
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July 21st, 2009 at 9:44 am
Hello Miss Deere,
I have never been too far away from my hometown and I am living there once again, but at times you don’t realize how much things have changed or stayed the same. I still love visiting parts of town that I haven’t been too since I was little.
I did venture out to living in Toronto (an hour from home) for about a year, it was completely different and made me realize I love my hometown so much more.
The trees, the green grass, being near lake ontario, all became so much more important to me that unless I have a good reason to move further from it one day, I don’t think I will.
In my youth, I could not wait to get out of this place and now, I just don’t ever want to leave!
Enjoy your trip and clear you mind :)
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July 21st, 2009 at 10:05 am
I haven’t been to my hometown in about a year. I grew up on Nantucket. A little island known for being one of the most expensive places in the US. But I certainly wasn’t spoiled, nor did my family have a ton of money. We were middle class. It also has a feeling of simplicity there. There are no traffic lights, no highways, no neon signs. No big chain stores, no malls, the stores don’t even give out plastic bags. Main Street has cobblestones instead of pavement, which were brough from whaling ships in the 1800s. To get to the island, you have to either A) take a 2 1/2 hour ferry if you want to bring your car, which is $16.50 each way to walk on, I don’t even know how much to bring a car, because I never do. The ‘fast ferry’ is an hour at $33 each way, and the plane is 20 minutes, but $46 each way.
But Nantucket has many great things to offer. My mom grew up there, and my dad was stationed there in the Coast Guard. It was a really great place to grow up. Safe – we could walk down the street to a friend’s at night and not worry. Everyone knows everyone and each other’s family. I can tell my mom I ran into someone and she will ask me, “Who are their parents?” There were less than 10,000 people there year round (though I feel like I knew all of them) and in the summer there will be 40,000 people. It gets crazy! Tons of 1 way streets, bumpy cobblestones, tourists everywhere.
But the beaches are phenomenal. You could practically live there. It can be so relaxing, and it really is worth all the hype to go there if you have never been. I miss my friends, my dad, the beaches, and the local food.
Lately its been hard for me to get back there because I’m getting married next month. But it’s so expensive, and for me – there isn’t too much left there. I live outside of Boston now, and the change from a small town to a big one is… well I’ve been ‘on the mainland’ for 6 years now, and I’m still adjusting! But I miss the simplicity of it, and what gave it it’s charm. Even if when I did live there, I felt out of place and that there was nothing there for me. It’s always good to go home!
(Sorry for writing an essay!)
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July 21st, 2009 at 10:21 am
My hometown is Seattle (where my parents still are), my first major move was to Oakland, and now I’m in Cairo, Egypt.
I’ve been here a month and a half, and I feel like moving on from one city makes you really remember the specific things you like about it. Personally for me it’s food! I miss so much my favorite long-standing restaurants in Seattle that took me 17 years of living there to discover, and I miss the awesome tex-mex food in Oakland more than I can even say! I think when I move back to the States from Cairo I’m going to miss the Tahmeya (falafel) sandwiches from the street vendors, and the amazing Egyptian desserts lots. The good news is that I just found my dream apartment in Cairo, so I’m starting to feel optimistic about really settling in–I do intend to come back after I finish my degree in the US!
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July 21st, 2009 at 11:07 am
I still live in my ‘real’ hometown in Germany. But since I stayed in Canada for a year, it feels like home as well…sometimes even more. I visit my ‘family’ and friends there almost every summer and it nearly always is the best time of my life.
Nature, wide open spaces, highways big enough for me ;-), all kinds of people and cultures, that’s what I love.
After having finished University I am more than ready to immigrate to Canada. Toronto or Nova Scotia, wherever I’ll be lucky to find a job.
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July 21st, 2009 at 11:36 am
Good luck, have a good time and I hope you get to spent as much time as yu want with everyone you’ve missed!
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July 21st, 2009 at 9:57 pm
I was born in Connecticut, moved to Michigan when I was 7 and left there for Chicago when I was 17, so I have an idea of how you feel.
Time and money constraints prevented me from going back to Michigan until recently, two years after I’d left. While all my family is in Connecticut now, Michigan is where I grew up and it will always be home.
I missed the woods most of all! but going back was so…boring. there was literally nothing to do there. My friends all hang out at a diner called The Rendezvous and that’s about it.
It was strange as hell to be back in my old house though (my ex-stepdad still has it).
Chicago’s my home now; I never want to live anywhere else!
I hope your trip home is much more fun! take lots of photos!
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July 22nd, 2009 at 6:48 am
Хороших каникул в России. Здесь все, как всегда не меняется) Если соберешься в Санкт-Петербург – пиши) Я и моя подруга любим твой блог и считаем что ты огромная молодчина! И были бы рады с тобой познакомиться)
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July 22nd, 2009 at 7:13 am
This reminds me of that Scarlett Johansson movie ‘American Rhapsody’ : ).
My hometown is Portland, OR, and I often dream of returning there since it’s so full of creative people – unlike Dallas, TX! But I had a very, very bad relationship w/ my mom, so bad that I never wish to see her again. Sad but true. So my biggest fear is that if I ever stepped foot there again, I’d run into her.
Thankfully Austin is 3 1/2 hours away, and a lot like Portland, but with better weather!
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July 22nd, 2009 at 1:01 pm
I have been away from my hometown only a year, across the country, and I miss it terribly. I hear of all my friends returning there from college to visit with each other and family and mourn the fact that it is not in my budget nor my families at this point in time. My very best friend, however, is trying to alleviate some of the sadness by visiting for my birthday, however.
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July 22nd, 2009 at 2:11 pm
I think it’s great you’re doing this for yourself ^^
I also live in a different country, but I was nine when I moved from the belgian countryside to the big city of vienna. I haven’t been back to where we used to live, but I do visit my family a few times a year. still, I haven’t found a place I really want to stay for the rest of my life yet (I’ve got time, I’m only 19=), but with a little bit of luck, I’ll be studying in the us next year ;)
good luck, and have fun in russia!
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July 22nd, 2009 at 6:59 pm
I’m from a really small town in Swedish Lapland, just woods and mountains for miles and miles. One and a half year ago I moved to Stockholm, but now I’m back since it’s summer. It feels so strange because nothing ever changes here. It feels so safe to come home and see that nothing changes. But at the same time I have a lot of mixed feelings towards this remote and small place. A lot of pain from years of being the odd one out. Painful memories mixed with those shimmering memories of happiness and friendship. I sometimes walk around and find myself staring at my old high school, or kindergarten. All those places I used to play in, and the places where I used to sit and cry because I felt so lonely. Sometimes I find myself just sitting ina window, staring, because it’s so beautiful. I never used to see that before. I just saw the trees.
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July 22nd, 2009 at 11:06 pm
Sadly, I don’t have a hometown as I’m from a military family and moved around a lot growing up. Some of the places I don’t even remember (and some I don’t want to).
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July 23rd, 2009 at 3:28 pm
I actually still live in my hometown, although on the opposite end now. I grew up in the suburbs on the nicer side of town, and I’ve moved to a part that’s considered to be a bit dangerous, but I really enjoy it. My parents still live on the nicer side, and I’ll go visit them and see how different everything is over there.
Sometimes I dream of moving away from this city, but I actually like it a lot here. Most people want to leave as soon as possible. I like to travel, but I always want to come home when I’m done.
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July 26th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Being a college student I have come to have many different homes. You would assume that maybe there are only two, but there are a good handful of places very far away from each other I like to call my home. I love my college [I go to SUNY Purchase in West Chester, New York]. The environment and people are an amazing place to work on yourself and your future. When I’m not in school I live in upstate New York with a friend and her family, who have become family over the years, we’ve been best friends for ten years or so. I don’t get to come to this home very much during the school year besides breaks and Summer vacation, and I also “date” someone from here. We aren’t an official thing because I’m in school. It’s quite painful to be such a nomad because of this reason and others.
I met my biological father about two years ago, he lives in Las Vegas, along with his side of the family, and my mom’s side of the family, I was born there. I only get to see that big chunk of family once, maybe twice, a year in the Summer and maybe for Christmas. It’s hard to get to know all of your new siblings and other family members well when you’re on the opposite side of the country.
And my mum, my sister, my step dad [I call him dad, too], and one of my brothers all moved to South Carolina last summer, so I also only get to see them once or twice a year, if I’m lucky. I’m not very well off at all right now, and neither is my mum, so that makes it harder to travel to see them, or anyone for that matter.
So I think I do understand the ties and the need to be there, to be around old friends and places. I feel that way now, I don’t want to go back to school at the end of the Summer just because I’ve missed being around my friends, and I want to be able to visit family more and stuff. I’m sure it’s much harder on you because it’s going out of the country rather than traveling within it.
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July 26th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Whoops, I cut this part off for some reason, but continued:
Everyone has certain places, even if it’s not a hometown, that they find necessary to go back to. I think it’s important to visit if it’s enjoyable for you, if it’s something that doesn’t bring you pain or help you remember horrible things. I think it keeps us balanced, it brings something new but familiar to life. If we were doing the same things everyday forever, that’d suck. But it’s also good to remember good times, and good people [Remembering it with those people especially].
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August 5th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
looks gorgeous
sorry test
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August 13th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
I was born in Latvia, in a town I’m pretty sure is called Kolka. Sadly, I moved when I was 3 and barely remember it. I was adopted after my parents death by some distant family members in Belfast. I lived there for three years, so I remember that a bit better, and am now residing in Halifax. I visit Belfast once a year with my relatives, but what I do remember of Kolka is clean air, pine trees and looking out at the Baltic Sea. Those few thigns leave me with mixed emotions, they’re comforting, and yet not, after all I basically lost my culture and my home at the same time. I’ve always wanted to go back, but am hesitant. I don’t speak Russian, Latvian or sadly my mothers native Livonian, because I lost all exposure to it at a very young age. Someday, I’ll go back, but first I have to deal with my own issues regarding Kolka.
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August 25th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
Oh, doe. You’re so lucky that you got to remember and grow up in your hometown. I was yanked away at five from Moscow, and have moved around America for the last 10 years. Ironically enough, my name means stranger, I always feel out of place. I visited my hometown, Moscow, this past summer. My childhood memories were of a happier kind, with exciting places and our beautiful dacha. The forest I remembered has been torn down, the dacha is small and old, worst of all, I ended up feeling like a stranger and there was nothing left for me there. I knew most of the language, I was born here, but meeting everyone was so awkward, the city was so big, the people were mostly rude, even my grandmother. I’m so jealous of people who get to have a hometown or live in a place at least for most of their life,they have friends, memories, some kind of connection. I have nothing…
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