There’s one issue that rolls around the holidays every year, and it affects most women I know: body image. With all the festivities going on and amazing food accompanying them, we worry about gaining weight – which, frankly, kills the holiday glee!
Prompted by British Style Bloggers‘ Fashion Activism Campaign, I wanted to talk about dealing with self-image. As a model, the pressure to stay thin can be tremendous – all the food looks irresistible but the thought of not fitting into an outfit is scary and embarrassing. You really can’t win: not eating makes you feel deprived & eating makes you feel guilty. Sound familiar, anyone? This emotional yo-yoing can take a toll on your self-esteem and cost you your confidence.
The truth is that no matter how confident we may appear on the outside, body image is something we all feel strongly about. Some of the fittest and most beautiful people I know all have insecurities pertaining to their body. If you ask me, if has less to do with the media than some would want us to believe – we just want to be loved and wanted, and being fit & attractive is one way of achieving it! But there’s another: confidence. More often than not, the way we carry ourselves plays a way more important role than our waist measurement.
Erica, leader of Team Candyfuture
My friend and assistant Erica is a major inspiration to me. Some people might call her ‘pudgy’, but that doesn’t stop Erica from being the most gleeful, positive, warmest person I’ve ever met! Let’s face it: none of us are 100% satisfied with our looks. But, if you take good care of yourself and present yourself with confidence, you will always make a fantastic impression!
A girl from ModelMayhem emailed me today (also a model), congratulating me on posting my real weight and measurements on my profile. For some reason it never occurred to me that one could post fake information on that site. It’s like submitting a picture of your hot cousin on a dating site – never works and always backfires. The first step to fighting an insecurity is facing it. That’s right, own up to it babe! If you’ve gained a couple pounds, have a large nose, frizzy hair, or crooked teeth, let’s say it out loud! But the twist is, you must add “so what!” to it. Doesn’t it feel so liberating???
The second step is realizing that just because you have this particular flaw, it’s not the end of the world. Having big hips doesn’t automatically prevent you from getting a boyfriend/girlfriend & being happy – poor self-esteem does. Being short doesn’t mean you’ll never be taken seriously – being afraid to speak up does. Life is a constant movement of things – some within, some outside our control – and if we can affect change in some way, we should. Once you have stated your flaws and decided you are still unhappy about them, don’t be afraid to do something about it. It’s within you.
In closing, I’d like to share a photo from one of the happiest moments in my life: Christmas with my family. This photo was taken last year and incidentally, captures me at my curviest. I’m pudgy – so what! :D
Deerlings: I encourage you all to post your imperfections + “So What!” in this thread, anonymously or not. Here’s to feeling good about ourselves!
“realizing that just because you have this particular flaw, it’s not the end of the world”
Preach On Sister! *lol* Also, just because you think its a flaw does not mean everyone else will. Its funny actually, things that people hate about themselves and work to change, other people love and try to emulate. I have straight hair and sometimes will try to curl it for volume…but a lot of my friends gorgeous curly hair spend hours straightening it. I have plain brown hair and think about dying it…but I know plenty of blondes and redheads dying their hair to match mine…we always want what we can’t have. People with small chests wish they were bigger, busty girls (like me) hate them because they’re a burden and finding clothes that fit can be a chore….the list goes on.
We’re rarely happy with what we have but you inspire us to work with what we’re given. Thank you Doe!
P.S. I’m Pudgy/Curvy too (a little more than you in last years Christmas picture) So What!
“chubby girls are cute, and we can have pie!”
i like to think of us all as dogs, even though we look different, we´re all dogs.. sorry, human!
Me, im a dachshund, and my best friend is clearly a greyhound, long and slim.
You look like a cocker spaniel, the cutest there is.
Doe Deere Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 11:53 pm
That’s a GREAT way to look at humans & I applaud you!
Thank you so so much for this, Doe :)
You’re a true star.
If any of your readers can help us at all with the campaign, we’d be thrilled :)
LoveLoveLove
- BSB -
Doe Deere Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 11:53 pm
It’s my pleasure. Really!
Back when I used to model (I’m 5’1″ and 39-30-37) I couldn’t get any work because of how I looked. I eventually realized that although I wanted to think that I was modeling because I loved the art of it, I was actually doing it because I was looking for approval. Sadly, I know a LOT of other girls who fell into the same trap I did. DON’T DO IT. You’ll only hurt yourself more, I swear! First and foremost you need to feel good about yourself to get any kind of outside approval, but that shouldn’t be important anyway! It’s like trying to get into a serious relationship: it won’t happen until you get yourself together and have a sense of independence.
Anyway, I also read an interesting article with Victoria’s Secret model Selita Banks, who wants women to know that VS models are indeed people too. According to the interview, the models wear TWENTY layers of makeup just for their butt!
Nice post, Doe! This is definitely an issue that affects just about everyone, and women/girls moreso than men for sure. I definitely think the media has a HUGE impact in this area..
For example, in Fiji, they didn’t have TV until 1995, and also didn’t have any instances of eating disorders in their society. A full-figured woman was considered the standard of beauty. However, once they got TV in Fiji, the occurence of eating disorders in girls and women SKYROCKETED, with up to 74% of women suddenly feeling “too big or fat”.
If that doesn’t prove how sick our connection to the media concerning body image is, I don’t know what does!
I think the pressure to be ‘perfect’ is overwhelming, and I really like your message of saying SO WHAT?? in the face of that. Everyone should realize that perfection is impossible, and as the commenter above me stated, it sometimes takes twenty layers of makeup on your butt (plus a ton of photoshop besides, I’m sure) to create the illusion of perfection >:D
And frankly, I think imperfection is way more interesting.
I have some chub- so what!
I used to worry about my weight a lot.
I finally took action to get myself to a point where I would feel comfortable with myself.
I’m now at 130, which still shows some roundness in certain areas, but you know what? That doesn’t bother me. I have surrounded myself with people that love me and don’t care about trivial things like that. They tell me I’m beautiful and I believe them. My boyfriend has been especially helpful with me feeling comfortable with myself as he always tells me he loves me being “soft” (my chub). It IS very liberating to feel comfortable with who I am though it may not be the ideal image for everyone. But what is? No one knows. It’s what you make it out to be, right? I can finally say:
I LOVE MYSELF! (finally!) :D
Great blog!
It’s totally true what you said about no one being satisfied with their image. When I was growing up I always thought I was too skinny and wanted to be more voluptuous like the other girls, and later people thought I was crazy for worrying about my weight because I was still really thin. And it’s all relative. I was always really unhappy about my image, and picking at my flaws, and I felt really insecure around people though I’m sure they didn’t see me so negatively as I did, and I’m just now starting to come to terms with my body.
I have horrible acne scaring. Not just the discolored small red spots, but deep pock marks. My boyfriend always tells me I’m beautiful and that nobody notices them, but I do. I’ve had nights where I’ve broken down in tears because I think my face is hideous.
Fortunately I’d been seeing myself in a more positive light recently and can finally say SO WHAT! I’m the only one that sees them so why should I stress out over them?
This is a great post! I’ve really been examining my feelings on body image. It’s a hard subject for me, I grew up watching/listening to my mom hate her body and wish for “thinner hips” and “longer legs” and blah blah blah. Her whole self worth was (and still is actually) wrapped up only in how she looks.
Two things have helped me in starting to move past these types of feelings:
This book:http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0936077212/ref=oss_T15_product
And yoga. Yoga has giving me a new outlook on life. It’s been so great! It isn’t about the workout, its about the spiritual side of it. The introspective part. I love it!!
tokidoki Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 4:53 pm
I agree with you 100% regarding the yoga. Yoga has been my savior. I strongly believe if I wasn’t practicing it daily I would still be depressed, have really low self esteem, and not be happy with my body and my own skin.
LKR Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 5:23 pm
I double agree! Yoga is not only good for you physically but mentally it’s the best! It reminds you to live in the moment, and if you’re busy it creates space in your head (and gives you an excuse to turn off your cell phone for a while!)
I started doing it when I was 18 and it helped me lose all my high school “baby fat” and gave me a ton of body awareness and self-confidence. I would recommend EVERYONE to try it for a while, you’ll be hooked.
(A bonus tip for yoga newbies: try a couple of different classes and teachers. I didn’t realize how much I loved it until I found a few wonderful instructors whose style, pacing and attitude gelled with what I was looking for. Also, most big cities, colleges and community centers offer free or cheap classes.)
tokidoki Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 5:41 pm
I second that for yoga newbies as well. Every teacher teaches a bit differently so it is important to try more then one class and more then one style of yoga before you dismiss it. My current love is kundalini yoga although I do love vinyasa and hatha styles as well. But for me kundalini is my favorite and it’s what I prefer to do. It’s a bit more cardio then vinyasa & hatha so if you aren’t into holding poses for a long period of time or have trouble concentrating, a more active form of yoga could work better for you. I strongly believe there is a form of yoga out there for everyone.
Doe Deere Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 11:55 pm
So apparently yoga is really popular huh. Thanks for the recommendation!
PoisonberryPie Reply:
December 27, 2009 at 6:33 am
Sounds like a good idea…I think I might take a trip down to the local gym once I find a job this spring. ^^ I have asthma, so exercise always makes it flare up, but I think yoga might actually be a way for me to exercise and be able to breathe at the same time xP <333
“not eating makes you feel deprived & eating makes you feel guilty” ooh this sounds tremendously familiar!
but, you know, I found a solution to this problem!
I eat little from sunday to friday -but on saturdays I allow myself to eat whatever I want! this way I can also bake (since I looove to) AND eat what comes out of the oven! :D how great is that?
sure, you will need a lot of discipline on the other days, but I swear eating a lot but just one day a week will not affect your weight! I’ve been doing it for years now! ;)
{it would be even better being able to accept one’s looks without being on a constant diet -I know that. but it is SO hard Doe! :( you can’t just say “so what!”}
Flor Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Your know there’s a diet kind of similar, a friend of my family as been on it for a few years and she has lost a lot of weight!
It is ALL YOU CAN EAT breakfasts, a complete lunch, little snacks (like an apple) and nothing after 7 pm…
Great post! It is so important to accept yourself and be happy with who you are.
Rachel Reply:
December 23, 2009 at 11:39 am
Ditto!!!
not particular to body image, but good advice nonetheless:
Doe Deere Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 11:56 pm
I love Andy Warhol and this quote is right up my alley. Thank you for sharing it!
I think it’s just The Winter to Gain Weight!
I’m at my heaviest right now too! So what! >.<!
Doe Deere Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 11:57 pm
I think it’s all the yumminess too. :) What are we, supposed to miss out on all the good stuff? I think not! I’d rather try everything but in moderation. :)
I’m glad that someone with such a big following is writing about things like this. it’s something we all think about and do worry about (whether we want to accept that or not).
I think it’s human nature to want to be accepted, but what people need to accept is that not everyone is going to like you, or agree with what you do, or even approve of everything you do. The trick is to keep trucking with what you’ve got, who you are, etc, as long as it’s what you want to do. This is key- doing something because YOU believe in it. it’s easy to think you believe in something but the truth is that your surroundings tell you to believe. it’s a battle many people face, but few accept and work on.
no one is perfect, and I am definitely not perfect myself. I used to be the biggest pessimist in the world. A few reality checks via family members getting sick and holding a positive outlook made me realize that everything you feel and do is a matter of perception. if you’re going to think that everything is terrible and dark and hurtful, it will be, because you’re feeding your brain that. there’s a fine line between realism and optimism, but there’s nothing wrong with looking on the bright side to things. it truly is a mind game.
I’m glad that I can say that I am mostly happy with myself. I’m getting to that 100% point, but I think it’s important to accept that I’m not there yet, either. Once you accept things can you move on. So here I am, stating that I am not perfect. My tummy is a bit bigger than I want it to be, my Spanish heritage gives me a bit more hair to manage than I’d like, and my balance is pretty terrible. But so what? I’ll take it because I’ve got family, friends, a home, a job, and the ability to be able to share these things on a network full of people who can also double as a support system. And for this, I am thankful.
Long comment is long :p
I have huge and very visible stretchmarks on my stomach, SO WHAT? I wear a bikini anyway.
Colleen Q. Reply:
December 24, 2009 at 4:31 am
I just got stretch marks this past year and am scared of bikini shopping this next summer… I even skipped it altogether this year now that I think about it!
Hearing you say that so confidently makes me think I can do it too.
Thanks Elina.
Well, I can completely understand. I’d been overweight most of my life, and then when I was 14 decided to lose weight, and not knowing how to control my eating I soon became anorexic. I had apparently stripped my body and heart of their muscle so much that I needed to be in the hospital weekly for check ups and was told not to do any cardio activity. It was hard and because I still hadn’t learned how to eat healthy without food depervation, I gained the weight back.
Right now, I’m in the middle of the weight loss, at the weight my mom says she always thought I was prettiest. Despite having my mom tell me that she thinks I should stop, I know in my heart I need to go on because I need to be at a weight I am comfortable.
I also have to deal with other things… like never being able to show my legs again because I spent one year cutting myself and now both of my legs are utterly covered in scars. I’ve had people tell me that they look ugly, that I’m disfigured and that I should be ashamed. I’m not saying that I should have ever done those things, but I think, that constantly having to look down at those scars has given me better perspective on how my body is 100% original and unique and how unreasonable I have been to struggle to have to body of another woman.
What I suppose I’m trying to say is that yes Doe, you are right, all women have struggled with and are still struggling with body issues. Some of us have more struggle than others. But here’s something that I like to do:
~Write a list of 50 things you truely like about. NOT “when I lost 10 lbs I’ll have a nice but” more like, “I love my legs because they are strong enough to support me when I try to keep up with my family and friends on long walks” or “I love my lips because they are soft and gentle and some day (or now) someone will think they are the most amazing lips they’ve ever felt.”
Thanks for the inspiration and courage Doe!
Hayley Reply:
December 27, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I relate to this, so much. The stuggle is always worth the love we will feel for ourselves in the end. I just felt the need to reply as it strikes such a chord with me. That is a beautiful story of a unfortunate disease that can strike any of us, but your way of viewing yourself as so unique due to the things you have dealt with is amazing. Good luck and love. x
My teeth are so not even!! So what, that won’t keep me from smiling, AT ALL!
And my legs are not straight, and hell no I won’t stop wearing skirts and shorts! So what??
I’m a big girl. Not just chubby, I have wide shoulders, a big bone structure, and quite a bit of muscle without ever working out (even just cycling for two weeks gave me giant Chun-Li thighs.) And chub. So what? It took me a long time to see past my chubbiness to see that I was never meant to be thin and the best I can do is A) Stay healthy by eating healthy food and B) Stay happy by not depriving myself of foods I truly enjoy every so often just because they have some fat in them. And after that, I could see people weren’t just humoring me when they told me I was beautiful. I AM beautiful. And full figured. Girls can be both.
I’m about 5’5 1/2.
And about 93 pounds.
I have suffered from an eatting disorder most of my life.
I don’t blame the media for it.
Like you said it’s seeking acceptance.
Thank you for posting this for me.
The holidays are one of the ROUGHEST times for me.
Because I look around at all the beautiful people at all these wonderful parties.
And I wish I was them.
I wish I were beautiful.
And could accept myself for who I am.
But I can’t.
An eatting disorder is a serius thing.
It takes 100′s of lives each year.
Every year I make it.
Is one more year of hell that I have to endore.
LenaA.K.A.Mom Reply:
December 24, 2009 at 11:54 am
Dear JMT,
I wish you all the wonders of this holidays’ season – all the wonders including that wonderful food it brings along. The food is your friend, it’s the source of your energy and growth. It’s the fuel for your brain, the nutirition for your hair and skin. It’s the music for your taste buds and the feast for your eyes and it smells so great! If something doesn’t let us enjoy the simplest things in our lives, that should be addressed. Like you said, it’s serious. Don’t fight it alone. You need allies. I was lucky enough to find a wonderful doctor – who is my best life support now. (Thanks to Doe – who is my best support, too, when we are not fighting :)
Reply me if you don’t know how to find help.
Enjoy you holidays and best of the best luck to you in the New Year!
I’m little. I’m short, skinny, and have really small breasts. It sucks sometimes because I’ll look at other girls and think how I would do anything for those beautiful curves. We all want what other people have–we think everyone else is beautiful but ourselves. I’m tiny, but so what? =)
my super curly hair is now mostly silver (gray at early age) SO WHAT!
i heart you Doe Deere
Doe Deere Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 3:11 pm
I love silver hair! You should be proud. :D
I’ve got short hair and look like a boy – so what?! Androgyny is sexy as hell!
Squid Reply:
December 24, 2009 at 11:13 am
I definitely have to agree with you on that!
my stomach is covered in stretch marks, i weigh more than i ever have, i have a muffin top when i wear my fave jeans, my thighs wiggle when i walk…
SO WHAT!!
i had a baby a month ago and im gonna wear a bikini for the first time this summer because for the first time in my life im comfortable with my body and all its imperfections :D
i have a daughter that i want to be a good role model for.
i never want her to hate her body the way i used to…so im gonna lead by example!
angel Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 4:39 pm
I had a baby 10 weeks ago and my stomach is baggy with huge stretch marks. I have muffin top and wiggly thighs. I have lost about 20kg since the baby was born; no dieting or anything, just life and breastfeeding. It is summer here in NZ now and I am beating myself up trying to find a bathing suit that I would let myself be seen in public in. I really appreciate your ability to say so what to all this and go for a bikini…I’m still working on that. Maybe for a Christmas gift to myself, I will make a sign that says SO WHAT and put it over my mirror…or buy a plain bikni and put S O on the cups and WHAT on the bottoms…with a big question mark on the butt. Or not since that’s not my style at all.
mara Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 6:14 pm
the way i think of it is
my body made my daughter and no matter how “imperfect” it may seem to other people im going to be proud of it.
i like to think of my stretch marks as battle scars lol
theyre the proof of the miracle i carried for 9 months :)
i think putting so what on your mirror is an excellent idea…something to remind you to be happy with who you are
Chyna Reply:
December 25, 2009 at 5:23 pm
After reading this, I immediately took one of my Expo markers and wrote “So what?” on my mirror. Thanks for the idea, and it brings a lot of glee to see that you think of them as “battle scars.” That’s so cool! :)
“…we just want to be loved and wanted, and being fit & attractive is one way of achieving it!”
Totally. I love my body, I FEEL sexy, I like my boobs and my hips… the only times I feel guilty or chubby are while wondering what a guy is thiking. Not worth it, haha.
Great article.
What a great post.
it really helps thinking about this theme.
i have some really bad scars on my arms and legs(some people think i got burned) but I am happy to have a boyfriend who keeps touching them and showing me that he doesnt think they are disguisting or something like that. Best think which can happen
Doe Deere Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 11:59 pm
Sounds like he’s a keeper :)
My teeth are not perfect and I’d love to shed a few pounds… But so what?! :)
I love this post. It’s so upsetting to hear “Exercise and diet!” all the time when all you really want is acceptance. Thanks for reminding me how important it is to love yourself regardless of the degree of “perfection” you possess! I love that you are confident enough to share your own imperfections.
I’m BIG AND BEAUTIFUL! NOW WHAT?!
Doe Deere Reply:
December 23, 2009 at 12:00 am
You forgot optimistic, nice and downright awesome too! :D
How great of you to come out and say something about this, Xenia. Same for all the other readers that have commented.
I have always struggled with my body image; I even went through a phase where I wore huge, baggy shirts and pants because I hated my body. Just in the past couple of years I’ve really begun to view myself with a quiet pride and sense of realism.
So I’m a Marilyn instead of an Audrey; So what!
People need to remember that nobody is perfect. People on tv/movie screens and in photos are usually photoshopped to the point of them looking fake. And they have make up and hair stylists to make them look good and hide their flaws. And many models are photoshopped to look like they have more cleavage (look at the victoria secret’s catalog…some of those photoshop cleavage shadows aren’t even done well), thinner waist and thighs, and scar free.
I’m at a point in my life where I am happy with my body. Hasn’t always been the case but it is now. The 8 years of yoga has given me a strong and healthy body. I am petite naturally (5’4″ about 115 pounds) but my body is curvaceous with lots of muscle tone. I would much rather weight more due to muscle and have muscle definition in my arms and abs then be skinnier (weigh less) without tone. A strong female body is more attractive to me then a waif one. Overly skinny models are not attractive to most people. Every guy I have dated likes girls with meat on their bones. And all the ones I dated also preferred small breasted females so small breasted females like myself…don’t worry about the size of your boobs. Guys love them all.
I also don’t believe in diets and I think our society is diet crazy. Society in general (USA) need to learn to eat more healthy as a whole. Our fast food diets have created a society of obese people. We have the highest rate of obese children in the world. That is scary! Right now I am reading “In Defense of Food” by Michael Pollen and it’s a great read if you are interested in the horrors of the western diet. I personally don’t watch what I eat. I just strive to eat healthy, eat a huge variety of foods, and limit processed/prepackaged/fast food as much as possible. And I’m sure not eating animals helps too. :)
I’m lov emy body. Hasn’t always been the case but it is now. The 8 years of yoga has given me a strong and healthy body. I am petite naturally (5’4″ about 115 pounds) but my body is curvaceous with lots of muscle tone. I would much rather weight more due to muscle and have muscle definition in my arms and abs then be skinnier (weigh less) without tone. A strong female body is attractive and I’m not talking body builder body. That is nasty. And you know what, feeling strong is also awesome.
I also don’t believe it diets. I don’t watch what I eat at all because I believe eating things in moderation is best. And I exercise almost daily (I do yoga 5-6 days a week) and I would rather exercise daily then limit food since I love eating good food.
tokidoki Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Oh yeah, and my flaws…
I have a chicken pox scar inbetween my eye brows, I have stretch marks on my hips (still have no idea how I got them…my weight has always between pretty much the same my whole life), i’m small breasted (32A), I have mild rosaces (so my nose and chicks are always a bit pinkish) and have other numerous scars around my body (i’m a bit of a clutz) but I don’t care as much anymore because everyone has flaws. I used to be really bothered by my stretch marks a lot and be very self conscious about them but then I noticed that the majority of my friends have them too. Most people do have them. Same with chicken pox scars. Even Natalie Portman has one on her face…same spot as mine.
Hollie Reply:
December 23, 2009 at 2:43 am
I think having a chicken pox scar inbetween the eyebrows is a really common thing. I have one too.
tokidoki Reply:
December 23, 2009 at 10:33 am
I love how the one I pick at was on my face. Why not all the other ones that covered my body at age 7. heh
Squid Reply:
December 24, 2009 at 11:26 am
I read “In defense of Food” over the summer. That was an amazing book. It really affected me as now I’m starting to think of whether I’m hungry before eating. I’m really surprised to find that I’m usually not. About the scars, I was burnt on my arm once when I was little because an iron fell on me. I’ve grown to accept it and rarely even remember it. *shrug*
Smurfzilla Reply:
December 28, 2009 at 3:04 pm
it is an awesome book! made me really think about how i eat and what i put in me. ive never felt better since ive started eating more actual food.
Jennifer Reply:
December 27, 2009 at 3:10 pm
tokidoki, I totally concur with you that a strong female body is attrative. I disagree, however, that female body builders are ‘nasty’, and I think your saying that is quite harsh. It’s one thing to prefer the aesthetics of one body type over others (and I agree with you that I don’t personally find it attractive), but maybe you could think twice about posting such a comment in the future. It’s a very subjective area, and I’ve found a lot of female body builders recieve a lot of criticism for their bodies. Don’t you think on a thread like this one, that’s somewhat hypocritical to add to that? This post (and the comments) aren’t about judging others’ bodies. Please be more tactful.
Im short, loosing a few ilbs would not hurt, and I have ugly knees.
But I still feel like a god damned celebrity every day I wake up!!
Thank you for posting this <3 Thank you so much! We all have problems with our image, and self confidence <3 Thank you!! <3
-Flip
Flip Reply:
December 22, 2009 at 4:26 pm
So what!
[I really need to proof read my posts XD]
I’d been a bit overweight my entire life, but during a bad stretch of time, I lost over 30lbs of weight (depression related), leaving me at what is supposedly my “right” weight. My tummy was flatter, but my boobs had lost volume. Since then, I’d been trying to keep the weight off healthily, but my body seems to disagree with the charts. In the last year, since starting dating my current BF, I’ve gained back those thirty pounds, but I’ve been doing well — I’m hoping to lose the extra weight again, because I’d like to feel more fit, but I’ve come to accept my body however it is, and through the changes it goes through.
It was just funny though, because when I was slimmer, I had a girl-friend express envy over my mostly flat tummy; after I gained back the weight, the same girl said that I looked great softer and curvy (and I apparently went up at least two cup sizes!!) It just goes to show that there are positive things about all different shapes and sizes, and really it’s mostly about the attitude one has to pull it off!
<3
Melinda Reply:
December 23, 2009 at 12:57 am
I gained weight after I started dating my current boyfriend, and everything he tells me is that I’m beautiful even when I just wake up in the morning. I would love to lose it, but I think its staying for now, but oh well I’m happy :)
i weigh myself every morning, and yesterday I was at a friend’s holiday luncheon, and today i weigh 3 pounds more than yesterday. I was feeling pretty crappy, and going to skip pancakes with my sister.
Thanks for posting this! I am off to eat delicious pancakes, and spend time with my family :)
I’m fluffy…
SO WHAT! I’m still a princess! And all the boys love me! Okay…That’s just pride talkin’…No, it’s a fact.
Since exams, I’ve gained weight, become flabbier than usual, broken out in a acne spell, forgotten a lot about my (usually meticulous) grooming,and my stretch marks on my hips and bust are more pronounced than ever. So what?!
I’m going to go to Destin for my girls week in just a few days and I’m going to rock it with a holiday Gleeful smile!
I’m short and pudgy, so what!
I’m small breasted, so what!
I’m starting to think that these things make me more attractive as opposed to the run of the mill “beautiful girl” being a big-chested, skinny blonde girl does not make you attractive if your personality sucks!
I love my personality and I’m beginning to love me body and thats all that matters!
I so needed to read this today. I gained weight since yesterday, then this morning made rumballs and ate more than a few and was feeling so guilty, like considering skipping dinner guilty. I still want to lose weight, and need too I’m not at a healthy point yet, but I’ll go easier on myself.
i am short and overweight. this in itself wouldn’t bother me, as i am a fan of all different body types, but what bothers me is that because of my size, which is either a high standard size or a low plus size it’s hard for me to find clothes that fit, because very few places carry such an odd size.
i guess that’s what a sewing machine is for!
I’m tiny, tiny and I’m not gonna grow anymore. And then there’s also the fact that I have stretch marks on my thighs from when the grow over night when I was 14 – my boyfriend calls me “Tiger Bum” and I love it ^^
So what!
I’m a girl that looks somewhat like a boy… so what!
so i have some extra cushion, and huge breasts? so what?!
well i must say, this post really lifted my spirits today. i know what it’s like to be ridiculed and tortured by others for all sorts of reasons. before puberty i was STICK SKINNY (and on top of it all my peers thought i was weird and singled me out anyway) everywhere i went in school they would chant “bony, bony, macaroni!” and i had to endure it. then when puberty hit, i put on some weight and it got worse they would call me “fat”, “whale”, say that i would eat live animals in one swallow (when i’m a vegetarian) and make loud crashing sounds every time i walked. which made me realize, YOU CANNOT PLEASE ANYONE, SO LIVE TO PLEASE YOURSELF. i was bloody fed up of coming home crying from school every day because of what other people thought. i was never huge, i just have a bit of extra weight. (i also have enormous breasts, which made me the butt of many jokes) i learned to embrace my own unique body, even though it doesn’t meet the universal standard of “perfect” and i have a husband and daughter who love me for me, that’s all i need.
besides, all those immature boys from primary school who would tease me to death now try to chat me and try to get my number! lol so love yourself, no matter what. i do, and i’m better for it :D
I really needed this today. Thank you. <3
I wouldn't call her pudgy, though.. [:
Thank you for this! You are amazing.
I weigh more now than I ever have. So what!!
I’ve never felt more beautiful.
i love you!
i am also at my heaviest now. i have gained 20 pounds since high school. this is particularly hard for be because i was the thin, pretty girl back then, and now i am not anymore. i guess growing older makes us not be able to eat whatever we want anymore, and i still do! i like to work out, but i get discouraged so easily. i love food so much, and i can’t just stop eating what i like! but SO WHAT? :D
Great post, thank you so much for writing this!
I am rather wobbly, so what!
People think I look like a boy, I have strange lines in my face and ugly hands. I have a bit of fat on my stomach I used to hate, but then I just tattooed an apple button on my hip and now I love how I look naked…so what?!
I am 5’8′ and weigh 130, and I have a chest malformation (hollow chest :S). I am beginning to get flabby, I haven’t been as active as I used to be since school has started so I am not as toned anymore…
But that won’t stop me from wearing all my cute dresses and skirts this holiday season, I love food and am not afraid to eat it.
Wow — not only is Doe’s blog great, but the comments from all of you guys are wonderful! Deeply emotional and seriously reflective, these thoughts are important and sharing them is valuable. I’m glad to be a member of this community.
Oh, and I have facial scars that used to upset me but now I don’t care. If people can’t see inside me, then they aren’t worth having as friends.
Hmm, let’s start with… my teeth are totally out of place, SO WHAT?
Truth is, I think my smile is lovely all the same, but don’t show it as much as I should because I’m so scared of how other people may feel about it. Just the other day, on this singing contest, a super tallented girl was totally put down because of her teeth. Something along the lines of “you have all it takes to be famous, now all you need to do is fix those teeth”. And I felt like killing the dude, and all my friends who agreed with him. Our looks do play an important role in our lives, but I don’t think they should be seen as a requisite for… well, anything, be it famousness or something meaningless.
And that’s all. Love your blog, Doe, you’re making us all happier prettier ladies. <3
I’ve had acne since I was 11 and I have thousands of scars on my back from how they just develop with me. It doesn’t stop me from wearing a backless dress because I have them, it adds something to me. So what, I’m not going to stop wearing the dresses I love over a couple thousand scars.
Wow what a great post. Thanks Doedeere.
I struggle ALL the time with this…
I am only 5’2 and 147 lb’s which is ALOT for my height. I spend a whole year trying to lose 15lb’s…and then have 2 months where I am sick and can’t exercise and put it all on again in that short time. But SO WHAT!! I am still beautiful!!