- 1. Always look your best.
I’ve done both, and let me tell you: it’s better to be over-dressed than under-dressed. Whether you’re at work, going to a party or at the post office dropping off Christmas gifts for your grandma, show respect for others and yourself by making an effort. As sad as it is, people who don’t know you will judge you by the way you look, so you might as well dress for success! Don’t save that pretty frock for a special occasion — if you like it, wear it today! I like to dress a little festive — a brooch here, a scarf there, let them think it’s my birthday! ;) I can’t count the times a beautifully-dressed girl brought a smile to my face, so why not be that girl every day?
- 2. Smile!
Sometimes I feel like smiling in New York is prohibited by law. Showing your teeth in a friendly way has somehow become a sign of weakness. Nonsense, I say! There is a difference between grinning foolishly and smiling with a purpose. A confident smile shows that you’re comfortable in your surroundings and are in control of your life. Having the stones to smile will make you feel great on the inside and maybe even put others in a good mood. There is a guy on Houston St. selling antiques who always tells Mark and I that we look like rockstars (what sunglasses will do!) — this makes me smile even more. :)
- 3. Be daring.
Take a stroll on the wild side, take risks, talk to strangers! Whatever it takes to get you out of your comfort zone. The point here is to make yourself *a little* uncomfortable — not do something you’re dead-against. Throw a tea-party for you and your friends! Start a secret club! Go on Craigslist and do an apartment swap! Dye your hair an unnatural color! You get the idea.
- 4. Capitalize on your fabulous skills & talents.
Have you ever seen someone play an instrument who’s really good? Their face lights up, their eyes begin to sparkle and as if by a miracle, they become impossible not to like. Nothing makes a person more irresistible than watching them do something skillfully. I believe that every single person on this planet has a special, unique gift that they can do better than anyone else in the world — even if it’s just one thing. Go discover yours! Hone it, love it, and share it with others.
- 5. Proceed through life as though everybody already loves you.
It may sound conceited, but it works! Believing that everyone will be receptive of what you have got to offer often makes it so, like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just like walking into a room thinking nobody wants to know you will probably result in nothing but misery, you can project positivity and success. You don’t have to be arrogant to be confident in your abilities to charm damn near anyone, and you don’t have to act entitled to know you’re worthy of the best things in life. You are lovely — just the way you are — so go ahead and be FABULOUS!
Deerlings: Share your rules of fabulousness with us!
By far my FAVORITE post! Thanks for the inspiring words! I’ll be sure to pass this along :)
This is a great post, Doe. One of your best, I’d say. Number 5 is especially helpful to me. Too often I have walked into situations worried that people won’t like me, but in all honestly, most people probably will like me as long as I make an effort to get to know them. I think most people want to like someone new when they first meet him/her — I know I do! Thank you for this wonderful post, darling!!!
LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT, Doe!! Especially the last one. :)
only because you are foreign i understand… it should be “home in on it” not “hone it”
i’m a fanatical grammar nazi!
Tibby Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 3:08 pm
No, Doe’s right on this one! ;P
Doe Deere Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 3:15 pm
Hehe, never heard an expression to “hone a skill”? :)
AMY! Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 3:54 pm
ah, yes, to perfect it, my apologies to you, doe!
Doe Deere Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 4:41 pm
No worries Amy! :)
Rickey Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 4:11 pm
You’re definitely correct here, Doe.
Jess Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 3:17 pm
“only because you are foreign i understand”
That came out really condescending.
And hypocritical, since you didn’t even capitalize properly. I love when you make any little mistake and people assume that it’s because “you’re foreign”. As if natural born Americans spoke with impeccable grammar at all times. Seriously, the first statement is SO small minded, miss AMY!
Doe Deere Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 4:42 pm
It’s alright, no offense was taken. :) English is my second language and I say stuff wrong all the time. My favorite is to drop articles — I think it’s charming, tee hee! ;)
Ariel Grimm Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 3:23 pm
don’t you mean ‘hone in on it?’
Maja Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 4:46 pm
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=define:+hone
:) If in doubt, Google will tell ya!
I totally live by these rules and it is GREAT FUN!
It helps you spot the kindred spirits more easily too because they smile back with delight and often compliment your party dress, pink hair, attitude etc. and the ones that put on a sour puss you know to avoid!
These are things I really need to read each and everyday before I set about with my day, I’m terribly awkward in social situations and I easily panic.
Even so, I think it might be about time I put those pretty wigs and makeup I have to good use instead of just using them every once in a while…
VERY inspiring!!!! I feel like I wanna do something crazy (not that I don’t most of my days lol)!!
Hey Doe! Would you say 13 is to young for some of your LC lippys? I really want cosmopop!
Rickey Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 4:12 pm
I’m not Doe, but I say GO FOR IT!! <3
Doe Deere Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 4:43 pm
I’ve seen Great Pink Planet on 10 year olds and it looked GREAT! :) I don’t think you’re too young, no.
Amber C. Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 10:01 pm
I think cosmopop is a color that would look great on younger girls. Depending on what you wear it with it can give you a delicate innocent look or something else entirely!
kaiya Reply:
November 19, 2010 at 6:40 am
No one can ever be too young or too old for just about anything (to a certain degree). I’m 13 but I’m craving Lime Crime lippy already. As long as you know what colours suit you then go ahead!
I love this post.
Rules of Fabulousness – oh yes. :D
I say that my number one rule is: live an uncomplicated life!
Don´t stress over anything, enjoy the small moments and the big ones even more, laugh more! Uncomplicate yourself!
Live like anything could ever get you down.
Doe Deere Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Excellent advice, Cupcake! I feel like I’m in a constant state of uncomplication, only to complicate things back again — isn’t that what life is anyway?
Dude, let me just say I am in SUCH a good mood right now!
I just got a ride to Harry Potter tonight on the condition that I could get a ticket.
Then I got a ticket (in a college town where only two screens are showing it)! Woo!
Then I read this post, which is totally epic and reminds me that I DEF need to go do my hair before the show tonight.
Sorry to get so off-track, but I know Doe couldn’t possibly have a problem with her blog being used as a place to vent excitement over Harry Potter!
Anywho, this post is absobloominlutely perfect. Thank you. It pains me here in my first year of college to see so many people studying certain majors because it’s what they think they SHOULD do, rather than what they LOVE to do…
and #5 has definitely proven true for me. It’s amazing what a “can-do” attitude, a smile, and a song can do (time to quote Snow White):
With a smile and a song
Life is just a bright sunny day
Your cares fade away
And your heart is young
With a smile and a song
All the world seems to waken anew
Rejoicing with you
As the song is sung
There’s no use in grumbling
When the raindrops come tumbling
Remember, you’re the one
Who can fill the world with sunshine
When you smile and you sing
Everything is in tune and it’s spring
And life flows along
With a smile and a song
Have a happy, happy day, all you beautiful people!
“Don’t be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day”
<3 Rickey
Doe Deere Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 4:45 pm
Thanks for posting the Snow White song, Rickey!!! <3
Katie :) Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 6:44 pm
I totally agree wit you, Rickey! This post was lovely and I think it is totally appropriate to relate it to Harry Potter. :D
Doe, this is such a fantastic post!!! I love all the things you put down and I think smiling is the most important. It even works when you don’t feel like smiling – the second you force yourself to smile, you become a little bit happier even if you were totally wrecked to begin with… At least in my experience. Doesn’t work as a cure for depression of course, but if you’re just having a shit*y day, it will do :))
I hate hate re-posting comments and I know it’s a bit disrespectful, but I think you may have just passed it by and so perhaps you will reply this time :)) No pressure, just thought the reason you may not have replied before is that you haven’t read it… So here is what I PS-ed in my comment under you Doll Makeup Post:
PS: I think I remember you said you don’t like people addressing you in Russian or by your previous name, but I was wondering if you have any tips on practicing Russian? My boyfriend is Russian and I really adore the language and as I am of Slavic origin as well, it isn’t too difficult for me to learn it… But I don’t live in a country where one would hear Russian too often and I really want to practice and get better. I do speak Russian with my boyfriend’s mamochka and bratik, but I want to improve so that I can express myself freely. I hope you’ll give me some advice, if you can think of any :)) Also, I’m very interested in learning some things about the way Russian people are brought up/their mentality. I found it fascinating when, quite some time ago, you were writing about the town you come from, showing pictures of a Russian table and a video of your abandoned house… I’m hoping you have another article about your homeland coming up sometime :))
Poka! :)) Sabina.
Doe Deere Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 4:47 pm
Hi Sabina!
Russia is a fascinating country, with a fascinating language. I’m not surprised you took such deep interest in it. I think a great way to start learning the language with “Azbuka” (the ABCs) — ask your boyfriend is he has one, or order one online! It’s for kids, but it will teach you how to read and write. Good luck! xo
Thank You Doe !
Really thank You !
You make me believe in myself and inspiring my to be myself, no “invisible” and boring person.
Now I think , I wanna do something with my life ;)
1. Check! – well, I TRY to look my best, but sometimes all I want to wear is a tshirt and jeans. But indeed, better be overdressed than underdressed, it just makes my day when I see someone wearing bright blue tights with a purple skirt – or sth like that. I’m one of those people that see an outfit like a business card, it immediately shows who you are – or it should.
2. Check! Now I’m at university with new, like- and openminded people I can be myself and laugh a lot, which didn’t happen in secondary school, where I was laughed at for wearing a HAT.
3. Getting there I suppose, I just dyed my hair bright red, but I would like to be a little more daring …
4. This is what I need to figure out … I love being crafty and such, but lately I’ve been a little out of ideas – and out of time, which is a pity.
5. Probably the hardest one, as I’ve been used to think just the opposite; only lately I’ve come to realize that indeed “You don’t have to be arrogant to be confident” (of course I was just jealous of those with confidence).
Overall, I really like this list.
awesome post, so true too! i really hope i get to catch you on your next makeup tour and observe your skills in person. ;) one question though.. what’s an apartment swap? lol
Rickey Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 5:49 pm
You post online info about your apartment (or house, for a house swap) and places you’d like to swap to, and other people to the same, and then you go for a certain amount of time and you live in someone else’s apartment/house somewhere else, and they live in your place.
why are girls so quick to pursue an argument lately… this is the second blog in a row in which ppl take things way too seriously and/or unduly get offended, is there a rush of young girls following?
in any case, way to be fabulous, doe!
Mine is: Always try to give at least one stranger one heartfelt compliment each day! It makes you feel so good and always has this domino effect of brightening both their and your day! :D
Doe, you are the best! People who see me online are always thinking I’m conceited (my blog is I’m So Great: The Rantings of a Jaded Youth), but you’ve summed up my philosophy much more eloquently than I ever could. Yes, I think I’m great, but I also believe everyone else is great and should think as much of themselves. Thank you for spreading such a positive message all the time! I fell in love with your makeup and then I found out you’re just as bright and beautiful as the things you create.
This is all so true! I have a friend who does all of these things. She has pink and blue hair, is always perfectly put together, and I’ve run in to her on the street wearing a kimono. She’s amazing, and everybody loves her and wants to be her.
I’m… getting there. :P Still somewhat lacking in the confidence, but absolutely love the positive attention I get when I ‘dress up’ for the day. :)
Heathre Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 5:44 pm
“I’m… getting there. :P Still somewhat lacking in the confidence…”
Same here. It’s not that I feel I have to dress authentic for the world, it’s just that I wish I was dressing authentic for me and that world gets to see it.
“Don’t save that pretty frock for a special occasion — if you like it, wear it today!”
Love this! I can’t remember the lady’s name, or what magazine issue I read it in, but there was this lady who was into wearing fancy dresses in her backyard, using good china every night. I thought, “Right on, this woman is badass! Most people would roll their eyes.”
Heathre Reply:
November 18, 2010 at 5:47 pm
Excellent list by the way!
Man, I wussed out on getting a second job (today) because of mental jazz…
Also I found to not limit yourself by categories, labels, etc. once I found to release my mind about such things, I was happier. It hard to do, but if you accept the world is one, then its a lot easier. Once I did that, my happiness radiated from me and attracted people who were as happy. :)
You are such an inspiration!
And I have been dying to know, who you looked up to and found inspiring when you were in your teens and even now?
I love this!
Number Five especially. The way you feel, the ‘aura’ you give off really does change how people see you. If you walk into a room confidently people will notice. Confidence is a girls best accessory after all! You could be decked out in an outstanding outfit, but that glum and frown dulls the entire get up!
My own personal rule is live and dress as if you are a rockstar, even if you shop at thrift stores ;D.
Its worked for me! I’ve been described as a rockstar BY rockstars. It really does get people to notice you, as conceited as it may seem. It makes you seem like you are in control, you know whats going on, you are happy, confident, and proud. Someone people want to be around at the end of the day, someone enjoyable.
Fashion is more than clothing, its an attitude!
-Flip
Absolutely fantastic post!! Definitely what the doctor ordered. ;)
100% agreedm specially the smiling part, I’d also add being respectful (rudness is so not cool)
be a darling, like always, and keep on smiling! ;)
Thank you soo much for this Doe! I’m in such a good mood right now and feel inspired. Thank you for being you!!! ^_^
Words to live by,deer,and I do!! xxx
love the post! the very last picture inspired me to get wooden letters and paint them (you are lovely, I’m putting it above my daughters crib! she will be here december 20th <3
This is a great blog! When I first saw the title of this blog and the first picture, I instantly thought of Absolutley Fabulous (In case no-ones heard of it, it’s a British TV program which is hilarious!) Anyway I think I do thema all, except from the last one, because although I totally agree with you, I heard a great quote from Marina Diamandis (of Marina and the Diamonds)
“Shine hard, be honest, own your ambition, and imagine the world hates you! That was you will always do your best.”
Although that quote applies more to work etc. :D
I always like dressing my best, but this can be a hassel as I only have 6 outfits that are nice, and limited make-up supplies. Plus the fact that in the UK you have to wear school uniform and can’t really express who you are through make up or accessories (although i have a master plan to dye my hair funky, wear Lime crime lippy and uber cool accessories to school and getting wrong, it’s worth it :D
Sorry for talking waaay too long :)
Number 5 went straight into my heart.
It is so true!
Thank You Doe Deere, this was EXACTLY what I needed to hear this second.
Love to you!
Ingrid
I can honestly say you are the one person who taught me to have confidence. From an awkward, anxious, badly-dressed 13 year old came a blue-haired fashion junkie. Thank you for teaching me how to be fabulous!
Thank you so much for the list, I love it!
Yes, being daring opens up your personallity and very much changes the world around you. Daring means living for me.
Always look your best? Agree 100%! …And even wearing jeans and a T-shirt can make you look fabulous,it is just a matter of how you feel about yourself!
I’d add one more thing, “Just because you’re weird, doesn’t mean you should stop” I feel like I”m the most random person in the world, I can get into topics on makeup, fashion, and other “cutsey-poo” topics, then change on the drop of a hat to sports, Serial Killers, Bomb-tastic movies and gross out/This is how I got that scar stories. I’m just one of the guys, and when I’m out with my guy friends and their girlfriends, they start asking me about my makeup, hair accesories, and such and ask where I get all my things, then the boys get into a topic that I also enjoy, and these girls tell me to stop cause I”m not ladylike. Ladylike!? who cares, I’m happy telling my gross infected chicken pox story, or the time my brother punched me in the face when we were kids and I lost all my front teeth. I’m a girl, I like to dress girly, and I like to talk about the psychology behind Jeffery Dahmer’s killings, and the fact that I want to go ghost hunt in the Stanley Hotel!
I’m me and damn proud!
<3 Melinda
Great post! x
I love this post. I think if more women lived by these suggestions, the world would be a happier and more beautiful place in general. Just following #1 could have a significantly positive effect on a woman’s self esteem. I am so glad I found this blog! Lime Crime looks awesome and I will definitely be trying it soon :)
Great post Doe! These are some wonderful tips, who doesn’t want to be fabulous all the time! :) I definitely agree with you on the overdressed issue, I’m almost always overdressed…I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older that it’s better and more fun to wear whatever you want than to listen to silly rules made up by other people. If you feel like wearing a frilly dress when everyone else is wearing jeans, why not! Do what makes you happy, that’s my advice! :)
Check out my blog: Principessa Gabriella
I completely concur with this post! I used to be so miserly about my “nice clothes” that I would end up never wearing them! Very silly. I used to do the same thing with food. Then, through a series of occurrences I’ve decided to make every day lovely and fabulous (although I will admit, some days I love looking a bit ruffled (crappy jeans, boring t shirt and no glam)).
Anywho…
I’m looking for advice on how to stay pretty and fashionable in the winter! I have a pretty similar background to you (only one of the many reasons why I’ve followed your work over the many years!). I was born in Moscow, and immigrated to New York City when very young, but I cannot handle the cold at all! I am a rather petite person, but I’ve just never been good with it. Below 70 and I need a sweater.
I have never figured out how to look great in the winter. I always feel like some hamster with all of my layers. I just feel frumpy and blegh!
I want this winter to be different!
How can I stay warm and look my best?
(I’m sure others would appreciate this answer too. I feel another post coming on!) Thank you.
Cheers,
Yanina
My only rule would be “stop caring so much what other people think of you.” I really don’t care if others judge me based on how I look. If I don’t feel like putting on makeup, I don’t. If I feel like covering myself with cosmetics, I do. To me, it’s more important to be comfortable in how I look than to look my “best.”
I think it is ridiculous to assume that someone who looks frumpy is somehow disrespecting others by default. I agree with Elf.
just found your blog and totally in love! your last tip is I think the best. It’s my belief that experience is largely determined by perception. How you perceive a situation has everything to do with how things can turn out, so entering a room like everyone already likes you is such a good tip, since actually sometimes I can be a bit shy. Also, I’ve read a couple amazing things about smiling, which I didn’t used to do much but now make it a point to (smiley piercing and all). I read that when you see someone smile, it actually releases chemicals into your brain that are are the same chemicals that actually make you smile. That’s why smiling is often contagious. I think in large, competitive urban areas often smiling is seen as being too comfortable and therefore not serious and alert. However, I still agree with you, there are ways to look people in the eye very confidently and smile in a way that says “I’m very self-assured”. much more powerful than seeming afraid or angry I think.
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everytime i’m feeling unsure or nervous about a new exciting outfit i come back and read this for reassurance. it always works.
thank you!
Hey, get a mobile version of this blog! I’m trying to read this from my Iphone and the pages are way too cluttered!