You may remember Glendy from an interview we did earlier. Her recent article, I Refuse to Buy a Wedding Dress!, made some waves in the blogosphere and I immediately wanted to hear more of her thoughts on the issue. The subject of love and frugality is one that is rarely discussed – in fact, the gifts we can afford our significant others are often wrongly perceived as an indicator of how much we care. But when it comes to celebration of LOVE, does it really matter how much we spend?


Carnival Wedding | via weddingchicks

Written by Glendy del Cid

I am tired of watching TV wedding shows that showcase future brides getting into pathetic fits and a load of debt over their big fat wedding. The exaggerated attention to detail of pistachio gift boxes makes my stomach churn and don’t even get me started on the outrageous prices of wedding dresses and reception venues!  Aside from the TV wedding drama, ahem (WE TV), many newly engaged couples are cutting back on their wedding expenses due to the economy or the simple realization that they do not need to spend thousands of dollars to celebrate their union.

Henry and I got engaged last October. As the months pass by, we are still debating on what type of a wedding to have:  like many people right now, we are on a tight budget and refuse to get financial help from our families. This means not only will we have to cover the entire cost of our wedding ourselves, we will also need some funds left to begin our life together.  One thing we both agree on is this: a huge wedding that cost a down payment on a house is out of the question.

Initially, we thought of getting married at our neighborhood church, but got overwhelmed with the idea of months and months of preparation – not to mention the fact that we don’t share the same faith! (My fiance is Korean and I am from Guatemala.)  Although my family is very religious and his parents are not, both sides understand that as long as we love each other, the ceremony is something secondary. Don’t get me wrong – I believe that having a ceremony is important but a non-religious ceremony can represent a loving union between two people just as well.

Our second concern is the reception itself. After looking at venues and catering halls all over town we have concluded that dropping 20K+ for a small, simple wedding is simply ridiculous.  I cannot bear to think that we could be spending half of our earnings on a venue and on food that won’t even be so great. The problem is, most places that carry the name “wedding” are almost automatically more expensive. So what do you do? You explore some outside-the-box options.

  • The At-Home reception

Do you have a friend or relative with a large backyard or know someone with an empty loft apartment?  If so, I couldn’t think of a better place to have an intimate and fun reception! In an outdoor backyard, you can set the atmosphere to your unique liking and may even get away without renting a tent, weather permitting. In a lofty apartment you can rent the tables, linens and even have enough money for decorations and other pretty things. Just remember to keep your noise level down or grouchy neighbors might rain on your parade!

Pros: intimate, low-cost
Cons: space constraints, noise level, you’ll have to clean up afterwards
Cost: $500-$9,000 (if you’re renting a tent and have upwards of 100 guests)

  • The Restaurant/Buffet Reception

Many affordable family-owned restaurants will work with you to have an evening or morning reception, including catering or buffet-style setting, complete with drinks and desserts.  I was surprised when I searched through my area and asked local restaurants if they would hold a small wedding reception, and, incredibly, all of them said yes! They were happy to accommodate my budget, unlike many of the catering halls.

Pros: plenty of room
Cons: wait staff for drinks only, and your obnoxious drunken uncle may not fly.
Cost: $600-$1,000 to rent the space + $35-65 per guest

  • The Unlikely venue


Img via Flickr

Whether you chose to do a carnival wedding, a picnic wedding or a toy store wedding (!), in the end it’s your day and it can be anything you want! Look into lounges, parks, local theaters – all these can offer a fantastic setting, depending on the feel you’re going for. I found a whimsical, almost forgotten theater in my area; I also came across some wonderful lounges, should we chose to go with a more laid-back feel.

Pros: memorable photos & interesting stories to tell!
Cons: takes some creative organizing, you will have to decorate the place yourself
Cost: $0-$5,000 (if you’re renting a theater/lounge)

DJ’s, live bands and music are not included in the cost, but you can always ask your friends to take care of DJ’ing or playing at your wedding!

  • The food

Wherever venue you chose for  your reception, you’ll need food. I recommend ordering from a local restaurant or even having a potluck reception!  Yes, I said ‘potluck’! When I mentioned this to my cousin, she warned me it might look tacky, but the way I see it even an $100,000 wedding can look tacky if done wrong! Whatever you chose to do, remember that this is your wedding – not your grandparents’/aunt’s/uncle’s wedding, and is about your happiness. The rest will understand. :)


Potluck wedding | Img via Flickr

It’s easy to get overwhelmed worrying about the color of napkins and the shape of the wedding cake and lose focus of the main purpose of a wedding: a celebration of love. Don’t worry about having the perfect wedding – it doesn’t matter how much you spend, only how much you care for one another. And you don’t need to prove that love to anyone but each other. Like a friend of a friend said, “all my friends who had big weddings are ending up in divorce, and those who went to City Hall are still together.” The issue here is not about how splendid and perfect the wedding should be, because in the end a couple doesn’t need to prove to anyone their love for one another but only to themselves.


Henry & Glendy
Visit Glendy’s blog StyleAmor!

Curiouser & Curiouser:

Deerlings: would you have a big wedding or settle for something more modest? Share your stories, tips & tricks!