Wed 13 May 2009
Sex is the subject of utmost importance to us. We love to gossip about our friends’, neighbors’ and celebrities’ sexcapades; sex legends offer an extremely fertile crop in the field of contemporary folklore. This Weekly Glee is about all things related to hanky-panky!
- To get you started, here’s a list of 200+ sex euphemisms from Richard & Kitty’s collection. We will test your vocabulary later.
- Sexting is like texting, but naughtier. Modern-day teens put the technology to use by taking naked pictures of themselves and sending them to their peers. Pornography, modern-day flirting or just adolescent foolishness? You decide. (I tend to lean towards the latter.)
- Unlike their American sisters, Japanese girls refuse to give themselves up for free and demonstrate serious business savvy. As a result, you can buy real schoolgirls’ panties from a vending machine in Japan. The convenience is unequivocal, now the question is, do they come in Large, Small and Extra-Soiled?
- Selling undergarments is a competitive market, and new marketing techniques are introduced constantly. In Germany, you can get $7 discount on new underwear if you trade in your old pair! Chancellor Angela Merkel approves of this practice by lending her likeness to the campaign. True story!
- The Unlikely Dominatrix
Lola writes about her life as a disabled sex worker. A truly inspirational tale for all of us.
- Love Is… comics are my long-time favorite, but the Rejected Series is priceless!
- Ellen von Unwerth takes the sexiest fashion photographs. (contains nudity)
- I cannot believe this website even exists, haha!
- The Wet Spots write funny songs – exclusively for pervs. ;) (contains partial nudity)
- Doe Deere’s personal contribution, the “Who would you rather have sex with” game
Ask your partner (or friend): Would you rather have sex with Daffy Duck or Alice Cooper? – or -The creepy neighbor downstairs or Tina’s ex-boyfriend? You can also throw attractive people into the mix, or people you know. Take turn asking questions. Play in a group with friends or alone with your partner. (One-on-one, the game requires exceptional trust, but if you can openly talk with your partner about who you’re attracted to, you can talk about anything!)
- Lady Gaga’s new video is banned from Australian TV for multiple sexual references (does anyone really find “I wanna take a ride on your disco stick” offensive?). But here at Doe Deere we don’t sensor!
Lady Gaga “Love Game”
- Come 1984, Murray Head categorically preferred chess to lascivious pursuits. Anyone remember One Night In Bangkok? “I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine!” Oh, yes.
Deerlings: feel free to contribute any weird facts, funny stories or anything in that vein!
47 Responses to “ Weekly Glee – the Sex Edition ”
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May 17th, 2009 at 9:55 am[...] Doe Deere talks sex. I’m not sure that Australia did ban lady Gaga’s new clip but otherwise this was a nice blog about the joys of sex. [...]
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May 13th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Oh, Lady Gaga. Consistently entertaining. I can’t believe that she would be censored but Flo Rida can wax ridiculous about his head being spun round when you go down?
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May 13th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Oh Lady Gaga, how you continue to amuse.
And Free Sugar Daddy Dating? Bwahahaha! Brilliant.
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May 13th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Haha, holy crap, I love “One Night in Bangkok”…what an amazing song.
Oh! And the kids who are “sexting” are getting picked up for distributing kiddie porn! I guess I don’t remember being that dumb as a kid (I was more sheltered than anything else) but hey, no one wanted to see my skinny-ass boy chest anyway. :)
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May 13th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
In Florida, it illegal to have sex in any other position besides missionary.
In Iowa [I think] you can’t have sex with a virgin.
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May 13th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
I think its funny how everyone seems to think that lady gaga is “too sexual”.. I mean, there’s a lot worst around. And its clear that she’s targeting people around her age (or at least 16+) unless.. say.. girlicious singing about getting down to little kid above 14 years old.
And that dating website is weird lolz, I bet half the men of that website are lying in order to get a sugar babe for free :P
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May 13th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
I moved to Oklahoma (to my great displeasure) about two and half years ago, and when I turned 18, the first thing I wanted to do was buy a naughty magazine ;].
Upon this venture, I came to the sad realization that in this bible thumping region of America, any porn featuring penetration cannot be sold or purchased! How unfair is that?
There’s one exception:
…gay porn.
How does it make sense that you can show a guy penetrating a guy or a girl penetrating a girl, but you can’t show a penis in a vagina? In Jesusville, Oklahoma?!
Oh well. I’m not complaining. Gay porn rocks. It just baffles me.
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May 13th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I read in an article(can’t find it at the moment) Lady GaGa really said she used the phrase “disco stick” when she was at a club, and was really attracted to a guy. She told him she wanted to take a ride on his disco stick.
They also say it’s like a septor that a queen would have, and some say she might be the new queen of pop. (Princess if you ask me, no one can do it like Madonna does.)
I hate censorship. I adore Gaga.
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May 13th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
lol; I did not see that mv by Lady Gaga. Was the police that was all over her in the booth(?) a girl? Well I’m glad lady gaga finally got some front hair off her face. I think she had trouble opening her eyes with the former hair.
Oh man.. I do have a funny episode.
So I learned hiphop from a dude.. and he wasn’t really shy about throwing some “suggestive” moves either. Except he was teaching us guy moves so it was damn funny watching girls pumping their none existing penis.. ahahaha;
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May 13th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
you know, those ads involving angela merkel (and a bunch of other well-known politicians) were actually published without asking them first . the store that had those posters in a super-busy shopping area of berlin got into some serious trouble for doing that as far as i know . obviously , it paid off if the images even went all the way across the big pond :)
anyways, i loved this edition of the weekly glee , laughing my head off at the dating thing, too … :)
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May 13th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Ahahah well now at least I know I can get an “arrangement” if I really need money in college.
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May 13th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
…and I’m not quite sure what to say to the sugar daddy/babies thing..If the sugar daddy(mommy) is single… I don’t like the idea but can’t really object… but can also work if they are married? Uh….
I really find the story of Lola inspiring too. I wish there was some photos too though. Also enjoyed photos by Ellen von Unwerth.
Gotta wonder Doe, where do you find all these great sources?
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May 13th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
oh! I just wrote an article about sexting (what a coincidence haha!):
http://loveolla.wordpress.com/2009/05/13/sexting-made-it-too-easy/
And, have you tried the game: marry fuck or kill? Way more vulgar and mean than “Would You Rather…” But it’s a fun one hehe.
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May 13th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Lady GaGa…that is a good song and it is no worse than anything else that I have heard. how about if you seek amy or flo rida. everything has sexual innuendos in it…it is what sells.
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May 13th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
…and here I was thinking sugar babies are those fuzzy little monkey things in Australia.
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May 13th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
In Fall River, MA, a law from the 1890s is still on the books that deems 6 or more people riding in a car barefoot an orgy.
And in Newport, RI, a law from that time too is still on the books and says that 5 or more unrelated people living in a house is considered a brothel.
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May 13th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Haha, I have a picture of me doing the exact same thing as those girls with a cream-filled canoli. Totally unintentional, though. XD
It’s funny when a sexually-loaded word gets lost in translation. What I call a happy trail, the line of hair going from a guy’s belly button to his crotch (happy place! haha), my boyfriend calls a snail trail.
Now… a snail trail has a different meaning where I’m from, so when he referred to his snail trail, I started LAUGHING. As he just said he had a line of vaginal fluid on his abdomen.
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May 13th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
I used to work on a public access t.v show called SEx Life Live as the hairstylist and makeup artist.n I saw some crazy things. The craziest time was this…..
A guy who makes sex machines was on the show, these machines are like a dildo on a stick that goes in and out. The one he had just made could actually be controlled by your keigel muscles. If you were to squeeze it would stop or slow down. Apparently you can’t just show the machine, you need to see it live, so yes we had a volunteer to demonstrate the machine, live with a studio audience. It was wild. The maker of the machine was controlling it with a remote and she was on the chair getting it, in and out. She was giggling the whole time, what a brave woman! :)
More info about the show is here…..
http://www.myspace.com/sexlifelive
Sadly the host has gone on to bigger and better things in Hollywood.
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May 13th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Hahaha those love is comics are absolutely hysterical!!!
Lady Gaga… dont know what to make of her, saw her on a talk show and was a bit dissappointedbut the songs, the videos and the dance moves… respect!!!
And respect to Xenia- great post! :)
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May 13th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
I guess this video isn’t any worse than “Like a Virgin” was in it’s day. :p
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May 13th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
have you seen the website “said in bed”? It’s like the fmylife.com of sex, recording all the wonderful things people say before, during and after the heat of the moment: http://saidinbed.com/
It’s makes for some pretty hilarious times.
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May 14th, 2009 at 2:12 am
I can tell you one interesting sex fact:
Texas has the largest population of swingers bar none!
The reason why I know this, well, Texas recently (as of 2008) allowed the selling of Dildos. Yes, Dildos. And how may I know this? I used to work at an adult novelty store (yes, in Texas). Anyway, Texas legislature stated that a dildo could not be sold unless it was for “educational purpose for birth control.” Obviously, Texas is an Abstinence only education in the system, but nonetheless, a dildo is good birth control right? ;). Anyway, it also states in state legislature, that if a person has 6 or more said dildos on their person at the time of their arrest, they will also be charged with the felony of soliciting, and tried as a solicitor. Now that got the Swingers in a bind. Not only did their fun and games required numerous amounts of Dildos (not to mention for hygiene sake!), if their party got raided ALL of the swingers involved would be caught soliciting. So they sued the Texas State Legislature for invasion of privacy and won!
So what did the Adult novelty store sell before the legalization of dildos? We sold vibrators! The only way they were “legal” is if they had a non-penis shaped head, and had mechanical innards that made it move and/or vibrate. Can you imagine how much business the store gained once they found out that dildos could be sold. Hell even art glass dildos were banned!
Now I know that’s alot of information for one blog, but I love this topic! Because there are strange rules out there regarding sex and in 2007 Gay sex was legalized, because a jealous ex-boyfriend called the cops on his former boyfriend’s current lover and said they were having sex. Well, the cops being law-abiding, arrested the two, and then were sued for invasion of privacy. Interesting?
Shoot, I should start my own sex advice blog! LOL
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May 14th, 2009 at 6:32 am
I love you for doing this, Doe Deere!
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May 14th, 2009 at 6:56 am
Ha ha a game of “Who would you rather have sex with” always makes parties more interesting.
Oh and as an Australian reader thought I’d mention that lot’s of music videos get banned here cause our music TV shows are always on and kid’s watch em. When you have 7 year old little girls singing “I wanna take a ride on your disco stick” it gets kinda scary! (One time I avidly remember was when a group of them aged 8 to 10 were singing the chorus to Christina Aguilera’s Candyman “He’s a one stop shop, makes my panties drop”. It was horrible!)
But enough of that…Much love and keep up the good work :)
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May 14th, 2009 at 7:48 am
I love you for doing this, Doe Deere!
Sorry, forgot to add great post! Can’t wait to see your next post!
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May 14th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Hanky Panky in French is batifolage!
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May 14th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
…I can’t resist. I have to join that website, purely out of curiosity XD
x
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May 14th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Great post! Entertaining, educating, eroticating… ok, so that’s not a word…
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May 14th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
I loved this entry it caught my eye. It was pretty funny to. don’t get me wrong I like lady Gagas music but I think shes fake. I don’t think shes original at all. I think Ill take Moshs side with this. (shes so hot)I know you’ve probably read the entry on her deviant art and I was wondering what you think about it.
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May 14th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
weeeell, since I just found out about this site today.. I guess it does have to do with sex, so I’m posting it here ;)
it made my day! (and made me laugh :D)
http://www.latexwiki.com/index.php?title=Main_Page
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May 14th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
The video is offensive due to the gang rape references.
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May 15th, 2009 at 11:02 am
I am now in love with the phrase “Eating the cream puff in the enchanted forest
“
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May 15th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
As another Aussie, to be fair, the video is only banned on free-to-air television. All the cable music stations show the video most times of the day.
My boys love the song although we change that particular line to ‘I love going on rides, and disco is hip’. It doesn’t quite translate, and it certainly does not make sense, but it makes them AND their Mama, happy!
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May 15th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
I haven’t heard that “Love Game” was banned from Aussie TV…I work for a company that has systems to play music videos in bars, clubs, bowling alleys, gyms etc and we have the “Love Game” clip so I don’t think it’s actually been banned. Maybe from Video Hits which is a Saturday morning program that I imagine kiddies watch.
(I’m Aussie BTW :)
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May 16th, 2009 at 12:34 am
Um i dont think its banned here it plays in the mornigns on saturdays etc and is played ber bantam on the radio, it may have gone through censoring but its certainly not banned here in Queens land in Aust? if anything its being overplayed? thought love her to bits
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May 16th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
What surprises me most about banning Lady Gaga is that they didn’t ban If You Seek Amy!
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May 16th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
like i said its not banned in Australia
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May 17th, 2009 at 1:23 am
i really, REALLY love lady gaga! hahaha
that video is by far my favorite. i’m always enthralled by her out right sexuality.
i love it even more because no body really gives her crap about her videos like they do others!
she’s just damn sexy lol
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May 17th, 2009 at 10:19 am
It’s good to know Gaga’s vid isn’t banned everywhere in Australia. After all, you guys gave her her first #1 hit with Just Dance!
♣ Jane
‘I love going on rides, and disco is hip’ made my day!!! :))))
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May 17th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
I love doing the Who Would You Rather Have Sex With game!
My sister and I have this Boyfriend Game in which we write out the names of a bunch of people (both creepy and attractive celebrities and real people) on little pieces of paper, and put them in a bucket or bag. Then we take turns and pick a name. It’s really silly and fun. “Oh, man, not Richard Simmons AGAIN!”
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May 19th, 2009 at 1:18 am
We always called it “Who would you do?” I always hated that as a teen since I’m not into guys and my friends didn’t know. Haha. “How about…?” “No.” “Then maybe…” “No.” and so on…
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May 23rd, 2009 at 6:14 am
Haha, I first had to come to your blog to get to know that Angela Merkel supports this campaign… but I think I’ve to add a correction for this:
In Germany everyone makes fun about our Chancelor’s style since she is the Chancelor because her style n’ haircut were so odd in the past.
The text lines on the advertisment board says something like:
“We [the ppl in the background are also politicians]give all to boost the market” what is actually a hint at today’s famous “Abwrackprämie” in Germany, which is a car scrapping bonus from the state about 2500€ you’re getting for give away your old car and buy a new one.
In the end, from what I’ve read so far, I don’t think the Chancelor is so pleased with this campaign.. :D (especially because it’s put into Berlins biggest shopping street)
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May 23rd, 2009 at 9:13 am
Haha this article made me laugh, especially the sugar daddies. There are some really bizaare websites out there. I believe on Ebay some women were selling their virginity to the highest bidder.
Yes, it is unfortunate that Lady Gaga’s video was banned here. But only on the free-to-air television programmes. It still plays on the pay TV stations. Society has a sex phobia therefore it explains this banning. They banned Christina Aguilera’s
‘dirrty’ as well. I’m suprised they haven’t banned ‘if you seek amy’ or that new song of Lilly Allen’s the lyrics in that are nothing short of crude.
There is nothing wrong with ’sexting’ so long as these kids are 16 + I mean they are legally able to have sex. And obviously they would have agreed to it. It can be fooless, depending on who the person they are sending it to is. I mean if it just for them and their partner’s pleasure then fine. But I read that article you linked to and I cannot believe that there was a child of 11 sending pictures. My god! It is scary to think that kids that young are having sex.
Ashley: Clearly people aren’t getting any action in Iowa haha.
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June 2nd, 2009 at 10:42 am
Thanks for the linkage. I totally didn’t check my stats til now.
It was really great seeing you and Mark!
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July 16th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
I usually don’t post in blogs but your blog forced me to, amazing work.. beautiful !
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July 19th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
I usually don’t post in blogs but your blog forced me to, amazing work.. beautiful !
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January 8th, 2010 at 9:02 pm
This is so funny! How could I have missed this? :O
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