Wed 15 Jul 2009
White power tragedy
Category: Editorials
[71] Comments
Disclaimer: I do not endorse any of the nationalist beliefs mentioned below.
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Today I found out that my ex – the only guy I’ve ever dated before Mark – had died 3 years ago. Richard & I went out for a whopping 2 weeks and I was shocked to find out he was discovered dead on the streets of NYC & had been robbed – unclear in which succession.
It’s one of those awkward situations where you don’t know whether to laugh or cry. On one hand, the person you once knew is no longer here. On the other, Richard was a racist, a white supremacist & an ultimate fuckup – and I mean this in the sincerest way possible, with no trace of exaggeration.
I didn’t exactly gather what he was when we first met. He was in a Viking metal band and resided in a converted bell tower apartment (an actual church) in Carrol Gardens, which in and of itself made him an interesting date. He was surprisingly well-versed in Norse mythology and even humored my at-the-time conviction I was a Viking. He seemed cheery and always in good spirits & his friends were fascinated with my pale complexion and long red hair. And then strange things began to happen. On our second date, Richard presented me with a black metal mixtape and made me watch a snuff film. He tried to make out with me but I was too distracted by the satanic goat skull protruding from the wall. We fought over whether white women should really only marry white males to preserve the “glorious white race” (take a wild guess which side of the argument he was on!).
When Richard invited me to a NSBM party (women got in for free because apparently it’s hard to convince girls to partake in these things), I knew I had to call it quits. Not that I believed these guys were capable of actually doing anything evil – they were too busy collecting obscure vinyls & talking about running around the forest with an axe and white paint all over their face – but I strongly disagreed with their convictions. He seemed mildly daunted by the breakup; luckily his trusty WWI memorabilia kept him company. We went our separate ways and barely saw each other for many years to come. I believe his last words to me were, “Xena, you are living in a man’s world.” Did I mention he was a chauvinist too?
I don’t know if I could say Richard will be missed as I didn’t know him all that well, but he will certainly be remembered. Just like everyone else, I believe I encountered him for a reason. If nothing else, the man was a non-stop comic relief for us for years. Never had I met someone so outlandishly intolerant, stubborn to the point of naivety & so blindly devoted to possibly the most worthless cause on the planet!!! His mere existence proves that the spirit of prejudice, bigotry & racism is still alive & well in the heart of one the most progressive cities in the world. Next time I drive by a bell tower, I’ll picture Rich sitting up there cradling an AK47 with a nazi helmet on his dopy head.
71 Responses to “ White power tragedy ”
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July 15th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Oh wow, that’s taking the white supremeist to a whole new level. O.O Good thing you got away from that mess.
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July 15th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
I actually dated a guy (for over a year) who held delusions that we was, in fact, the antichrist. Not in any power-mad way, but that he was the one intended to bring down Christian religion. Scary and weird and funny all at the same time.
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July 15th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Yuck, the whole thing sounds like kind of a tragic mess. I’ll never understand people like Richard, at all. I’m glad you got out of there, sometimes people who seems harmless but just have stupid convictions can in fact, turn out to be very harmful. You’d be surprised what people will do when they’re pushed or surrounded by a group that will back them up.
And, um, at the risk of sounding a little obnoxious, I do want to say not everyone into Norse mythology or heathenism is like that! Unfortunately, like any other alternative spirituality, there are those nutcases who come to it looking for a reason to hate; and when you’re looking that hard for an excuse, you’ll always be able to find it.
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July 15th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Oh, and on the subject of dating intolerant people; I once dated a guy who got pissed at me because I didn’t want to go out on Halloween but rather stay in and celebrate it by myself. I was Wiccan at the time and Halloween falls right around Samhain, which is a sort of honoring your ancestors holiday. He then gave me a lecture about going to hell and couldn’t understand why I broke up with him! Loser!
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July 15th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Guy sounds like my dad. Racist, chauvinistic… yeah. Though as far as I know he doesn’t harbor any ‘hanging animal skulls on the wall” tendencies. But my mom has a tattoo of one on her ankle. Absolutely hideous, and she wants to take it off.
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July 15th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
As much as I’d like to comment on this uncomfortable and touchy subject, words currently elude me.
But what I can say is this: as an avid believer in NLP, I believe the type of energy you emit is the type of energy you’ll attract. That being said, I believe Rich was paid in full by the NLP/karmic system. Even though we as humans tend to believe we’re always right just because our intial thoughts belong to us, I believe an unwritten, yet very official concept of right and wrong exists.
Unfortunately, as long as humans endure, irrational and unfair discrimination will continue to continue to thrive as well. Even though I don’t agree with anything Rich or his counterparts stood for, you have my condolences.
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July 15th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
by dating him isnt that in a way endorsing his negativity?
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July 15th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Wow . . . that’s both awkward and strange. A real head scratcher really. A head scratcher because it seems so out of the blue. I hope that you are ok sweat heart.If you need cheering up or anything, your fans (me included) will be here for you.
It’s people like Rich that make me ashamed to have blond hair and blue eyes and a pale complexion. I really wish ti was not like that. I can’t stand people like that; whenever I encounter them I have an urge to slap them . . . but then I realize that they are far to stupid to realize why I slapped them and why they deserved it. Though lucky me *eye roll* I live right in the middle of redneck farm country.
I to snerk at people like that . . . like seriously? Racism? It’s like slapping a HUGE bumper sticker on your forehead that says “HI! I’M A STUPID JERK! KICK ME!” It is so outdated and such a mind numbingly dumb concept I can not fathom why people would still engage in such a silly philosophy. I mean really now, it’s a tad childish now isn’t it?
*hugs you and hands you a cupcake* Be well darling.
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July 15th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Im CONVINCED these people are complete frigging idiots, you have to be a real ‘tard to believe that shit, or have some self esteem issues, i dunno!
Well yes on one hand, it is sad that he died, but then if that means one less racist to spread their Uber White bollocks, then maybe thats a good thing??????
Lets just HOPE TO GOD it was a white guy that robbed him, because you can bet your ass if it was a black/asian/jewish guy, that would just put fuel to the fire for his white supremist friends.
On the inside, all of us are the same colour!
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July 15th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
My ex used to be friends with Richard. I forgot all about Richard actually, because I don’t think about my ex all that much. Anyhow, they shared a love of NSBM and neofolk.
Here’s a monkey wrench for you, my ex wasn’t white. Not passing for white in the slightest. Richard did have some “friends of color”. I can attest to that. It didn’t make him any less of a racist.
I’m pretty sure he got killed while looking for drugs in Harlem. And I do believe it was by a black person. I bring this up because Divalou was wondering.
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July 15th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Yikes! That’s all I can say.
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July 15th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
She did say she flicked him when she realised how extreme he was, Zoe.
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July 15th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
The only thing I can think after reading this is… I’d bet fifty dollars that his parents weren’t pure blood anything! Thus making him the very mutt he hated.
I always think it’s funny to see the kids running around with their SS tattoos, sharpied on Swastikas and painfully obviously Native American cheekbones with blond hair and other mixmatched bloodline signs; ’cause by any actual NS standards you kinda gotta be a pure blood to be “perfect.”
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July 15th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
As much as the dead deserve their peace (and the living shouldn’t talk ill of the dead…) he wasn’t really a good guy huh. Kinda sad.. but my grandfather has racist tendencies… I guess it’s not as extreme but he does believe each race should marry their own race. I don’t think he minds the white people as much.. but he absolutely looks down on african american. (We’re asian) I think it’s worse in one race countries since you don’t even encounter other races easily.
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July 15th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Wow. I too dated a white supremacist named Richard…
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July 15th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
@kate
she didnt say exactly how long the relationship lasted but by the 2nd date they were watching snuff flims?! yikes.
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July 15th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
correction:
One snuff film was watched lol
xenia, i thought i heard somewhere that snuff films are urban legends, do they really exist?
just a curious question.
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July 15th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Odd how things turn out in this world and glad you’re in a much better place with Mark.
@Zoe We all make mistakes. We all fall in with the wrong crowd. Making the mistake isn’t what is “fatal” but rather how we handle the situation.
If we were all condemned for one act of negativity, of not making the right decision immediately, then there wouldn’t be one among us that could walk with our head held high.
Energy, negative or otherwise, is fluid and can be changed and rectified.
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July 15th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
What a classy fellow; chauvinist, racist, and a douche.
Its not uncommon for people with so much hate in their hearts to be plucked by karma =/ He had it coming.
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July 15th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
i have a very similar past ex and since i did at one time care greatly about him i am torn when i think back about him because he was such a bad person.
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July 15th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
I remember a couple years ago, I dated a man that was very racist. It is kind of a long and bizarre experience, but I want to share it.
I have very fair and pale skin, and naturally almost black hair that I straighten but my father comes from Jamaica, so from looking at me most people wouldn’t guess that. I look neither white or black, I am just unmistakably me. After meeting this guy I quickly learned that I can’t assume people are going to be okay with what I am.
I never really noticed that he was such a racist, he never said anything like that. I thought he kind of looked like a skinhead when we met, but at the time I told myself that not everyone with a shaved head is neo nazi.
I always assumed he knew I wasn’t white, but I was very wrong. One day he asked me about it, he said although my looks were beautiful but I was unlike anything he’d seen before, so I told him. All he could say was how exotic and strange that was, he seemed pretty disgusted actually, now that I look back on it.
He continued to want to see me though, but it was different. He would always sit or stand some distance away from me, but would just stare at me and not say much at all. He would tell me how beautiful I was and how much he wanted to kiss or touch me but that he could not. He wouldn’t tell me why, I was starting to think their was something wrong with him at this point, I didn’t think that it was ME.
I found out eventually, when he took me to this rather scary place to hang out. It was like an abandoned construction site. He pulled up his shirt and their were all these tattoos, really hateful and horrible things all over him. I was so scared, in an empty lot at two in the morning. He then told me some not so nice things, according to him I was some evil black temptress. He sent me on my way, running home all alone in the wee hours of the morning.
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July 15th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Never imagined I’d read anything like this from you. If your family is anything like mine, I can picture exactly what Richard being your non-stop comic relief for years looked like. XD
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July 15th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
I like this – it makes me awful exes look normal by comparison XD (and one of mine stalked me after… be glad you didn’t get stalked!)
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July 15th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Eeek, what a wacko. I’m sorry he died in such a brutal fashion, but maybe people who have brutal souls attract that kind of thing? :/ I don’t know.
Anyway, I think you are a smart girl for dumping him! People can believe what they want, but that doesn’t mean YOU have to be around it if it makes you uncomfortable. What a shady guy…a snuff film on the second date? (Or ever?!) No thanks. The black metal and Norse mythology is fine, but everything else…X_X
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July 15th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
O_o My goodness… I’m sorry to hear that the man died, but you know what they say… “those who live by the sword –”
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July 15th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
I find the subjects of prejudice and race to be on the one hand fascinating, and on the other absolutely terrifying. I’m multicultural. I’m the kinda gal that marks “other” on ethnic background questions on surveys, but I don’t look like a minority particularly so people have said some racist comments about other people when around me. I suppose they assume that because I look “white” I must be so, and will consequently not be offended by their rude remarks about someone else who actually is the same heritage as me.
I never never NEVER could understand racism when I was a kid. It’s still not okay with me, but I suppose I can see where *some* people are coming from, particularly older generations who have been victims of war over cultural misunderstandings are aggressive political agendas. My grandma is by and large one of the most tolerant people I know today. However, she refused to let my aunt date one fellow of a certain race when she was a teen because of his ethnicity. Now, hear me out before you judge on this one! ;)
You see, my aunt was Chinese American. My grandmother is Chinese (she’s originally from what is today Guanzhou, I believe). The boyfriend in question was Japanese. During WWII, the Japanese burned down my grandmother’s village. She was fourteen at the time. She fled for her life, and never saw her family again or returned to her home country. This was before media invading every aspect of our lives, so this was probably the only exposure to the Japanese that she had had at that point. Years later, she informed my aunt that she could date any ethnicity she wanted, except Japanese.
My aunt was crushed. She told the boy she couldn’t see him any more, and before they permanently parted ways he left her with a note. In closing it said, “You are no longer a Chinese girl, and I am no longer a Japanese boy. We are both Americans.”
My Chinese teacher firmly believe that DNA tests would bring world peace. She had one done a while back. She’s from Taiwan, but genetically she is most identical to people of the Tibetan area. Of course she is also ethnically Chinese, but there is also evidence that she is related to the Flathead Native Americans of Washington state–and she’s from TAIWON!!! Whhhaaaa…?? Hahaha…If we look back far enough, I’m fairly certain there is no such thing as “pure” racial lines.
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July 15th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
This sounds like a horrible experience, and I’m sorry you had to go through it. It makes me sick at heart to see that there are still people in this world like that; the only thing that encourages me is how very, very far we’ve come. We’ll get there eventually.
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July 15th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Wow. I really can’t imagine you dating someone like that at all, Doe. You seem like too strong and vibrant a person to be tied to someone who holds those viewpoints. But, of course, we can all be misled and make dating mistakes.
I’m not really sure how I would feel at this news (that he died) either…but I think I’d be more glad that there’s one less person like that in the world, than I would be sad over the death of someone I knew in the past. If that makes sense.
x
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July 15th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Gosh! I just couldn’t believe it when I was reading your post… you were describing a guy that liked me at school! Really! He listened to black metal, said he followed satan, was a racist and a chauvinist! Really.. if I didn’t know who you were talking about I’d think it was about him!
Still, by the time he liked me he pretended to be a totally different person! Lucky me I was liking someone else and, even if many friends said I should date the guy, I decided I’d not betray my heart ^^’! (I’m a helpless romantic…)
Later he showed his true-self and I’ve never been so scared! He followed me, picked up fights with the friend I was interested in, was really rude to my friends and kept saying things that were almost like calling me a prostitute…
After school was over he made a fake profile on the internet to spy on me and that was the end of the line!
I told him to stay away from me for good and never speak to me again…
Still, he goes to the same university I do… but it does not matter! Friendship is over…
A loss of a person is always sad but… it’s even more sad to see there’s still people that think there’s such a thing as white supremacy…
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July 15th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Wo. I think more than just calling this guy a freak, deluded, living in the past etc, it’s dangerous.
Sure people like Richard are crazy, bu they tend to believe in their cause so wholeheartedly that they go and get themselves killed or kill others.
O and Zoe, Xenia said they dated for two weeks.
And in regards to snuff films, I think most that people can get their hands on are fake but with all the other horrible stuff in this world I would say real ones definitely exist.
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July 15th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
how long did you get to know him before you dated him?
usually before i even really befriend anyone we have conversations about their views and everything. im very blunt and will not put up with people who are so stupid. But ive made a few mistakes with people too and dropped them like a hot potato.
I’m just glad you got out of it before something bad happened to you, because people that ignorant can be very dangerous.
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July 15th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Ewwww! Sometimes we meet awful people, but that must mean something in our lives. See it as a joke :P
The closest to that guy I’ve been walking with was an ex of mine that only had the same metal tastes. Ah, and some gore grind too (ewwwwwwwwwwwww)
Kisses from Lisbon
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July 15th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
I once knew this guy who was running around with a Vietnamese gang in Vancouver. He was really nice to me at first, and then he showed me his true evil self.
He ended up dead, shot, execution style. I don’t miss him, and believe he got what he deserved. Pure fucking evil only attracts pure fucking evil. I hope you feel better soon, Doe. People like that are hardly worth a thought…
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July 15th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
wow O_O that wouldnt be a fun expirience. people like that… just aren’t well. i had an ex that threatened to kill himself over me after i tryed to talk to him about his sudden angry mood swings. i decided if he decided to do that, it wasnt my fault. he never did, but i was a total wreck for months. not good :\
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July 15th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Thanks for backing me up, guys. I only went out twice with him before discovering his true nature. I’m definitely not the kind of person to “hang out with the wrong crowd”.
♦ Zoe
The one I saw was definitely fake! It was really low-budget and at one point portrayed violence towards an animal, which – fake or real – I have zero tolerance for.
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July 15th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
Doe, your post has obviously stirred up a lot in people. But I would have to say sometimes the most dangerous people are the ones who hide their true colors at first glance, and agree that it’s very good you got away from him.
Personally, I’ve dealt with anti-Semitism. I’m part Native American, so I don’t have all the ‘characteristic’ or stereotypical ‘Jewish features,’ which is a blessing and a curse. It surprises me how much people will say when no ‘representative’ of a ethnicity, etc. is in the room. It’s really troubling, to be honest. People I thought I knew had prejudices about an entire culture and group of people that they knew next to nothing about.
A few years ago, around the holiday season, I mentioned something about Hanukkah to my friend Tim. He asked if I was Jewish. I said yes. He said to me, “I just can’t agree with that. It’s wrong.” We’d gone to school together for years and he stopped talking to me after that. He had daggers in his eyes whenever he looked at me from then on.
I guess my point is having someone like that out of your life is a blessing. It’s sad Richard has passed on, but maybe the hate in him has died and left the world for good.
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July 16th, 2009 at 1:39 am
Wow.
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July 16th, 2009 at 1:45 am
Thank you, Doe, for always blogging about the uncomfortable things that promote such interesting discussions!
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July 16th, 2009 at 3:52 am
I haven’t dated a white supremacist, but I did date a guy who… Well. He said he was atheist, but atheism to him means hating all Christians.
It was really difficult to be around him, even though other things about him were really awesome. I’m not Christian myself, but I cannot stand being around such negativity. He would always point to the bloodiest parts of Christianity while blithely ignoring the fact that it was incredibly hypocritical for him to say that all Christians should die simply for being Christian. It seemed almost all consuming for him. I had to leave due to that.
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July 16th, 2009 at 7:11 am
I haven’t dated a white supremacist, but I did date a guy who… Well. He said he was atheist, but atheism to him means hating all Christians.
It was really difficult to be around him, even though other things about him were really awesome. I’m not Christian myself, but I cannot stand being around such negativity. He would always point to the bloodiest parts of Christianity while blithely ignoring the fact that it was incredibly hypocritical for him to say that all Christians should die simply for being Christian. It seemed almost all consuming for him. I had to leave due to that.
P.S. – Sorry, forgot to tell you great post!
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July 16th, 2009 at 7:15 am
As a Heathen woman living reasonably close to the city I unfortunately cross paths with many “Richards”. It’s a terrible epidemic, to varying degrees, but terrible nonetheless. I have no tolerance whatsoever for racial intolerance or sexism.
It’s racist people like Richard who keep myself and the true Heathens I know on the defensive. Imagine THAT being the common stereotype of your belief system!
That being said, you have the right to feel whatever grief you feel.
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July 16th, 2009 at 9:05 am
I hate to speak ill of the dead, but good riddance to him. I’d rather not live in fear of people like that and I find it a little comforting that there’s one less in the world.
Sorry if this comment has offended anyone.
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July 16th, 2009 at 9:16 am
Doe, I’m So Glad You’ve Found Someone Better, And Thank Goodness You Got Out Of Such A Horrid Situation So Quickly.
There Are Too Many Racists In This World. Some Clearly Show It But Some Hide It So Well, I Have Recently Had To Break Off A Friendship With Someone Who Was One Of My Best Friends For Two Years, I Am White And My Last Two (& Well Only Two) Boyfriends Have Been Black. When This So Called Friend Found Out He Would Constantly Make Jokes About Their Race And I Frequently Heard Him Mention The “N” Word To Other Friends.
People Need To Learn That Racism Is Wrong And Should Not Be Tolerated In Todays Society. There Are Some Terrible White People Who Are Clearly Racist But I Think Some People Need To Be Reminded That Other Races Too Have Racist Views.
Maybe It Issues Like These Should Be Discussed In Schools, It Must Be Hard For Children Who Only Learn From Their Parents Views Especially If The Parents Are Racist. Also Anti-Semitism Is A Bigger Issue Than People Think, A Lot Of My Friends Who, Like Me Do Not Tolerate Racism, However They Make Jokes About Jews.
Thankyou For Another Great Entry Doe, I Hope This Opens More Peoples Eyes To The Terrifying Issues That Still Surround Our Society.
xoxo
xoxo
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July 16th, 2009 at 11:14 am
ouch…may he rest in peace wherever he is but…that WAS a shocking story!!
Sadly there are still this kind of nutcases but i cant but feel sorry for them…good thing you got away from him soon enough.
My brother is into Vikings anf the Nords and of course metal music in all its forms and i worry about him every day. Even if i do listen to some metal myself i know that many dangers lie specifically in this kind of music…
anyway…thanks for the lesson to the rest of us…i guess unique and weird is not always goos news ,huh?
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July 16th, 2009 at 11:50 am
This has nothing to do with white supremacy or your ex, but this reminded me of MY horrible ex.
I had a boyfriend when I was a sophomore in high school that was obsessed with me but treated me horribly at the same time. He manipulated me into doing sexual stuff I wasn’t comfortable with, told me that he was “more attracted” to his ex than he was to me, and called me “pudgy” (at 5′5″/110 lbs.). That last one was the last straw, I broke it off.
After I dumped him he joined wood shop class in high school to make a guitar… shaped like my hips. And told everyone.
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July 16th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
You be surprised , it is not the WHITEs who are racist only. I know some black people who are and Latin who are as well, but with their own race. light skin latin people hate the dark skin ones.. WHATEVER…
I would like it if everyone trace their roots, it would all lead to AFRICA somehow, no one is 100% of anything, WE ARE ALL MIXED believe it or not. People need to get over themselves, but what a sad life he must of lived…I’m sure he was miserable all the time even behind the smiles and laughter. G;ad you kicked him to the curb.
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July 16th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
A few of you have talked about DNA and root tracing but all that does is bring up the 1 drop rule that people are now sort of beginning to move on from. I think the tracing of those kinds of roots is just so wrong.
People are always dissecting themselves down to a cookie recipe! 1 part this, 1 part that! You are of the country you are born in, not the eight countries that your different relatives were born.
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July 16th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
As a metalhead, I’ve run into more than my fair share of guys like this. It’s a shame because they feul the stereotypes about us.
It’s always odd and a little saddening to hear about people we knew who have died, especially people who impacted our lives in a less-than-positive way. I’ve had ex-bullies die recently and the feelings that stirs up are … interesting.
Not all metalheads are extremeists. Not all extremists are metalheads, but when the twain meet, scary things can happen.
Elrodien, please don’t worry for your brother listening to metal music – unless he exhibits other signs of taking on racist / extremist ideas.
Metal means different things to different people – viking metal is my favorite genre and I am NOT a racist. A lot of the music relates to themes of staying true to yourself, finding strength from within, and standing up for what you believe in. Those are good qualities to foster :)
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July 16th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Let the dead be at rest, no matter how awful they were in life.
I don’t agree at all with these kind of people but I was a bit shocked at this post.
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July 16th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
I would just like to clarify I listen to viking metal and black metal, not every metal band out there is NSBM. I do not believe in the white supremacy crap. I am not white. I am not a satanist. There are the Beavis and Butthead metalheads and then are those who are not chauvinistic at all. I do not have goat horns on my wall. I do have cds with goats on it but it does not reflect anything of that nature. My favorite viking bands are not racist in the slightest. I have met them in person and they are nothing but kind to me. I have been around the metal scene for years and never encountered racism being a minority. There are weirdos in every scene yes and who take it to the extreme or use it to make them seem hardcore and “different” or they just plainly have issues to begin with.
If anything, I have encountered strange things from other scenes but I don’t paint the scene with the same brush because of one person. I love black metal but also other genres of music. Being a fan of extreme metal does not mean I am into weird kinky stuff, but to each their own. I know metal makes some people feel uncomfortable and I understand that.
It is ridiculous when you meet people who spout rhetoric, I was talking to a friend about this the other day. I have met people who do not believe in “race mixing”. I know many backgrounds who still believe in not being with other nationalities romantically or physically, it does not mean they are racist, they still have friends of other nationalities, they simply refuse to date/marry them and then there are those who are more extreme.
There was a band called Skrewdriver, a white power band where the singer was racist and yet eventually dated a Filipino woman and has children with her. It’s all a hypocrisy.
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July 16th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
I 100% agree with Steff Metal :)
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July 16th, 2009 at 11:59 pm
The ironic part of it all is that many Scandinavians are mixed with an ‘eskimo’ Indian like bloodline. So even those ‘pure’ Nordic people aren’t pure. And many other parts of Europe had interbred with ethnic groups such as the Moors hundreds of years ago : P.
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July 17th, 2009 at 9:11 am
that sounds really sad. i’d always wonder what happens to my ex but perhaps its best not to know. i imagine its tough to realise he’s gone but maybe, just maybe, its for the better.
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July 17th, 2009 at 10:24 am
This was a terrible loss because of one thing. It sounds like he never grew up. He never matured into a caring, loving, free-thinking, mature adult. It’s a loss because no matter how unlikely it may have been for him to change, it still could’ve happened and now he’ll never have the chance. All you’ll have is the memory of who he WAS.
It has nothing to do with music, literature, or clothing. Who you are comes from inside – your thoughts and actions – nothing you can blame on black metal, death metal, films, etc.
I’m sorry, I hope some peace comes from this all the same. xo
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July 17th, 2009 at 11:23 am
Just to switch it up a bit, my boyfriend is into Vikings, Norse Mythology and Metal music, but he’s the most loving person in the world, and respects all cultures. Also, he’s dating me, a very outspoken feminist/Mexican woman. He respects who I am and what I stand for and for some odd reason (but I love it anyway) spoils me rotten :-P. So, it does kinda of burn me when people put these men into a small category, especially when not all of them are like that. Its a person’s choice whether to follow that type social standard in the Metal Scene. In fact, my boyfriend’s friends, who consider themselves metal heads for life, treat me with the greatest respect, because I can out wit them in logic and Monopoly. So not all metal heads are these types of extremists, and are misogynistic. And it does hurt when people believe that. Honestly speaking, I go to Metal concerts with my boyfriend all the time, and I’ve seen great examples to believe that Chivalry is not dead. How many women can say (especially this feminist one) that a man took off his own shirt for her to walk across a puddle because she was wearing open toed heels. This was at a black metal concert. Heck, I’ve met James Hetfield, Dave Mustaine and Angela Gossow (who is a female lead singer in the metal band Arch Enemy). And each time, I’ve been treated with respect and courtesy.
I live in Texas, and I’ve seen white supremacy in the most “normal” of forms. Basically speaking, its has come from people who are devoutly religious and believe that Jesus promoted racial separation, and from people who are “professionals” which are people like lawyers, dentists and others professions to that effect. Not only that, I was told I was going to hell for being a Feminist in college by a guy in a suit, and then sent to the depths of hell for being an illegal Mexican (even though I was born in the U.S.). Now are all Texans white supremacists? No. Are all Christians White Supremacists? NO, but there are those who do follow that idea and get more negative publicity than those who don’t because we as humans like controversy, so its really not fair to label black metal/viking metal fans into that little category, especially when not all of them are not like that stereotype.
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July 17th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
I understand you. One of my closest friend dated a jerk for years. The guy was then 37 (she was 16 !), sold coke, had a child, was living with an other woman, thinking of making her a topless dancer, violent, the list goes on. For years, every time we met outside school, she couldnt stop the tears. Every single time. He was more then a jackass, he was getting her addicted to cocaine, her marks droped… One day, he got killed in a motorcycle accident. Although it was so hard to see her being destroy over that death, i cannot stop myself from believing that if he had not die, my friend might be dead today. I cant, in good conscience, wish the death of somebody, but havent had a moment of sympathy for him…
Btw, thank you for being so inspirational, i love people like you who are truly living and being what they are !
PS i hope my English wasnt catastrophic :)
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July 17th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
I’m all for being proud of who you are and taking some pride in being of a certain race, it sets you apart and makes you unique. But taking it to the level of hating people who are not of your race is wrong.
I’m proud to say that my Grandma came from Scotland and that my Grandpa came from Canada (where members of our clan were exiled to from Scotland hundreds of years ago for stealing sheep). The other side is Welsh, Irish, and Native American, but you wouldn’t know it looking at me.
I hate people assuming that it’s only white people that are racist. I’ve been ganged up on by groups of Mexican girls (in elementary school) who didn’t like me because I was pale with light hair and green eyes, and they didn’t stop at picking on me, they picked on my little sister too because I stood up to them.
Racism goes all ways.
I’m sorry you had to deal with this guy, glad you got some laughs out of him. I agree with Jenny that it’s sad he never matured into a caring human being, and that people are going to remember him as a racist and a douchebag.
I hope you’re doing okay and I’m glad you got out.
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July 18th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
I hope people dont get the wrong impression about metal and the metal scene. Although there are some stupid people, many of them are nothing like this richard kid. I happen to be a big viking/folk metal fan and I am a Pakistani, and I’ve never been harassed at a metal show, and I’ve been to quite a few for the past 10 years. Im glad Doe found her way out of that though.
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July 18th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
What an idiot. I truly feel sorry for people that are blinded by their beliefs like that.
@TyphoidMary: I agree with you when you say that racism goes all ways, but you can’t say that being picked on and “not being liked” is a fair example of it, sorry. Try death threats for being multi-racial.
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July 18th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
I’m glad that you realized what was going on rather early into the relationship and was able to get out safely.
It angers me how these White Supremist Groups grab ahold of Norse mythology and go crazy with it. I have strong Scandinavian/Swedish roots and a good interest in Norse myths, so I guess that angers me all the more.
The stupidity behind their reverence of all things Norse is truly astounding. There is proof that Norse sea-farers came to America long before Christopher Columbus ‘discovered’ it. And these Norse people integrated with the natives of this continent. When Christopher Columbus got here he found Native’s with blonde hair, blue eyes, and light skin. So that right there goes to prove that the Norse are not all about Purity, if you will.
-Hitler and his little a$$hole buddies were all about Purity and White Supremist ideals. And not all of Germany was devoted to Norse myths.
Sorry if this sounds cruel, but I don’t think the world is going to miss Richard.
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July 18th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
To Zoe:
She said she only dated him for 2 weeks. They watched ONE snuff film, which he ‘made’ her watch.
She went into the relationship unaware of his beliefs and negativity. She even said that he seemed upbeat and funny.
-Once she realized what he was really like, she broke it off.
That is not in any way “endorsing his negativity”. To have stayed with him and extolled their virtues right along with him would have been “endorsing his negativity”. But by arguing with him and then leaving, she showed clearly that she does NOT endorse his thoughts/ideas/beliefs or negativity.
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July 19th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
@MeganJ
I wasn’t trying to be rude or attack Xenia with my question…I only wanted to understand her better (it is a shocking story!). In her response she mentioned she went out for only 2 dates with the guy so I would hardly even qualify that an ex-boyfriend.
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July 20th, 2009 at 2:35 am
I don’t feel wise enough to pass judgement on this matter. All I can say is I am happy you founds a man who truly loving and kind.
~Ariel
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July 21st, 2009 at 3:45 am
In reponse to the subject of racism, a director named Spike Lee created a film called Do The Right Thing. It is a great movie about the subject.
We all have an ex boyfriend from hell or know someone that did. I don’t pass any judgement either and it is truly a happy ending when you find true love and protected from the ugly side of life. By sharing this story, it brings us sisters together and only makes us stronger. xo
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July 23rd, 2009 at 5:15 am
can i get a white power….. lol
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August 18th, 2009 at 2:20 am
all i have to say to you people is you don’t understand why people become racist. YES its by choice ,but a lot of times its the way a white man is treated by african americans ect. No white person can say they have went through their whole life saying they’ve never been looked down upon by some type of colored person.And its coplete bullshit that you people can go talking shit about a dead person that some woman dated for 2 weeks. when you don’t know anything about this man she dated. And you don’t understand why we are racist. I myself wasnt racist at a point in my life until i got to about 6th grade when all the black kids would talk shit because my shirt had a confederate flag on it. What the black people don’t understand is that flag doesn’t stand for racism in everybodies mind. And my whole life since then has been ignorance from the colored people because they don’t like what i wear, and it seems like they wont be happy until i dress like them. So what im saying maybe the blackman pushed him to be racist. Maybe he didn’t dress wearing confederate flags, but constantly have i seen blacks mexicans ect. picking on white people when i went to school so i think you all should take it into consideration that it may be by choice but maybe the colored pushed him to be that way.
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September 8th, 2009 at 5:11 am
@louis:
*facepalm*
“saying they’ve never been looked down upon by some type of colored person”
because white people never look down on others?
“but maybe the colored pushed him to be that way.”
this is wrong on so many levels and i don’t even know where to BEGIN.
judging a group based on the acts of a few individuals within that group is absolutely ridiculous and pathetic.
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September 8th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
omg! thats crazy!
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September 18th, 2009 at 5:58 am
Wow.
Okay, I want to say one thing. I was treated like absolute crap by kids at my school. We’re talking 20 girls surrounding me and swinging fists, people spitting on me on a daily basis. Bad stuff. Most of the kids at my school were Hispanic. Am I racist against Hispanics? Well, yes, a little. I won’t lie. I’ve got some racism issues. We all do, whether you want to admit it or not. But I try my hardest to treat everyone with the respect they deserve as human beings.
Now, on to your particular story. Those darn black kids! How dare they pick on you for wearing a symbol that represents states seceding so that they could keep these kids’ ancestors as slaves? Some people are just SO touchy! I mean, it’s just like all those Jewish kids who are so irritated whenever I wear my armband with the swastika on it! After all, the Nazi party wasn’t ALL about killing Jews! And didn’t Hitler actually bring Germany out of a deep recession? Gosh! How dare they take offense when I’m CLEARLY wearing it to remember how Germany rose above their economic problems?
All sarcasm aside, it blows my mind that you say that black people drove you to racism because they picked on you for wearing something that, whether you want to admit it or not, symbolizes the (failed) movement to keep slaves. That’s like pointing a gun at someone, and then when they attack you to disarm you, you sue them for damages. What the hell is wrong with you?
asdflkads;jlkj. I’m so irritated right now, I can’t even… blah.
I’m just going to try to contribute to this in a positive manner. A thoughtful question for you all:
Not long ago, American Indians were literally bred with whites in an effort to dilute the Indian blood and make them more ‘white’. They were also forced to dress and speak and act like whites, and were forbidden from reverting to their culture.
Well, nowadays, culture is so far gone for most people, at least in America, that it’s practically a lost cause, no matter what your race. It’s obviously a shame that people tried to cut down on the Indian population by breeding them with white people so that their offspring would be steadily whiter.
So while I’m definitely not opposed to interracial marriage in the slightest, or same-sex marriage for that matter, there is something interesting that’s happening, that really is a shame and a blessing all at once. Races are beginning to meld together and disappear entirely. On the one hand, eventually everyone will be the same race, and racism SHOULD be gone, which we all know it won’t be. On the other hand, it’s always a shame to see something like that disappear, just like it’s a shame to see traditional cultures disappearing.
Looking at it this way, is there some part of you that does wish that there could be some way to preserve each race, without the ’supremacy’ motivation behind it, and while still allowing everyone to marry whomever they loved? Or is that racist as well? Just a thought.
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October 4th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Wow….what a coincendence. My very first boyfriend(who fits the descriptions of yours, perhaps MUCH worse), died a couple months ago!
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October 18th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
WOW! I can’t believe you stayed and watched the snuff film! From what I’ve heard those are really sick and i wouldn’t trust a guy not to want to re-create a similar situation after the film if you know what I mean.
I really hate white supremecy, I mean any supremecy, anytime anyone finds themselves superior it’s at the very least annoying and when sick ideas and action involving those who are “less than supreme” it’s intolerable. Still I’m so angry that White supremecy is the only kind of rascism that is villified. I mean I understand that this post was not about rascism but more about one man and your personal experience with one person who has recently died but it brings those emotions and thoughts up for me. I mean when mexicans get together at my former highschool act superior talk shit about whites, how we aren’t as good and refuse to have any contact with us like we are dirty in the same way whites used to with blacks and will only date and befriend their own race (and maybe the occasional half Pueto Rican) is that not Mexican Supremecy?! It happens in all sorts of minorities and is socially acceptable! WHY!?
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